A Princess Born of India

Me Tee!

2012-01-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

King of the Jungle - Daddy with his girls

There is no question that Treya has a full understanding of what a birthday entails, although she herself has never had a birthday recognized before. In the course of her one year at home, she has witnessed many birthday cakes with candles ablaze as the dreamy eyed recipient extinguished the flames encapsulating the perfect wish in their imaginations. Since Dev’s birthday in November, Treya has been growing ever more anxious realizing her day was coming next. In fact, playing birthday in the play kitchen is probably one of the most popular pretend games she enacts; from making and baking the cake, to setting the perfect table to then singing you her rendition of the actual birthday song. When given the signal, you may blow out the wooden candles - not before - and she starts the whole procession all over again.

Eager for the party to start

We decided to do a reenactment of Dev’s lion hunt party, but with a few twists to better suit Treya. Normally I keep the plans under wraps until the big day, but to make sure Trey understood what was happening, I included her in preparing the invitations, the baking of the cake and making the hand print lion goodie bags. The biggest change - daddy in the lion suit was NOT a surprise this time. He was dressed and in clear view of all the guests the whole time....less scary for sure! Transformation of our house into a mini jungle was the only secret kept. On safari day, I woke Treya whispering the birthday song in her tiny ear, to which she squealed with delight and popped right out of bed. Devi took her on a tour of the house, discovering all the decorations and hidden animals ahead of time, as Dev proclaimed herself my safari helper for the day, declaring that both girls had a need to know.

Receiving a hand stamp for successfully
finding a zebra!

Madly gluing and pasting away, a herd of paper plate lion heads were quickly assembled by our guests in no time, helping them to warm up to each other for the rest of the party games. Pith helmets precariously perched atop their heads and binoculars around their necks, they listened to my clues to identify the animal they were to search for. Lead by Devi who assisted Treya, the explorers traipsed through our three story jungle in search of wildlife, finding a giraffe, monkey, zebra, tiger, elephant and finally the king of our jungle. When lion daddy was finally found he lead us right into the Ziggy says dance, scarf dances and an animal march with instruments through the house, before settling down and reading stories. Treya was beaming. She was just enjoying the day to it’s fullest; certainly making up for her first two party-less birthdays. She laughed and danced her little heart out.

I made tiger tails (hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls) for lunch with various other accompaniments for refueling and witnessed kids actually eating at a party for the first time. They chowed. At last it was the big moment. Cake time. Treya could hardly contain herself. She stared in amazement as I lit the three little candles at the base of the lion face cake. Crouched beside her chair, I could see the reflection of the candles’ glow in Treya’s big brown eyes as we prepared to sing, my heart warmed by the sight of her fascinated gaze, poised in anticipation. The kids did a great job singing, with Treya herself singing the loudest, “appie bur-tay to me!” Priceless. The blowing took her several tries, with air directed up, down and sideways before reaching the target, but the guests remained patient until the final flame went out, then clapping wildly for her accomplishment. I think the old wives tale indicates that all candles need to be blown out in one breath to receive your wish, but something tells me this jelly bean’s wish is coming true just the same.

Opening her charm bracelet from mommy
and daddy for the first of many times.

Treya's two favorite things...
Her charm bracelet and new baby doll...
that says over 50 (non-stop) things.
What were we thinking?!

I have to say that of all the kid parties I’ve hosted, this one was one of the most fun. Just the right amount of kids, the right personalities of children and adults. Just a delightful good time all around. Even opening gifts went well. Treya did an excellent job of listening to me read each card, carefully unwrapping the gift and doling out thank yous and hugs all around without being told. Even Devi did great with not even a twinge of sibling jealousy. At the end of our party, the girls all disappeared into the play room for a few minutes while the grown ups finished our conversations. Not a peep! They all shared toys, got along great and even managed clean-up; clean-up, everybody clean-up when asked.

Ready to blow out her candle
wearing a crown of her choice,
a gift from Jenya - a crib mate of Devi's.

The true icing on the cake (every pun intended) came that night during our traditional birthday dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Oma joined us and got to witness our girl, her face just beaming with excitement through the birthday song, and then blowing out the candle that came on her spumoni ice cream, before a restaurant full of onlookers. To the applauding crowd Trey yelled, “Me tee!” holding up three stubby little fingers. Yep, you certainly are all of three, my delightful and precious birthday girl!

365 And Counting!

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Treya's First Forever Family Day Anniversary - January 21st, 2012

Amazing. That is how it feels to recall our second adoption trip, just one year ago. Amazing in that, the journey to India still seems surreal. The adventures we had were life changing, asking so much of our then, four year old traveler, and expecting acceptance from a well established and resilient two year old, a survivor in her own rite. Adopting a toddler, especially a strong willed one, is not easy on anyone. Daddy, Devi, Treya and mommy were all put through the wringer. We unknowingly each had a different idea of what that magical moment would be like, none of which became reality.

Mommy and Daddy were drawing from their first experience traveling to Devi. We picked her up out of her crib, she hugged us and that was that. Everyone was healthy and happy, and although we were parenting newbies, Dev was young enough that we were still able to call the shots, beginning to establish our new routine from day one. This is what we hoped this second experience would be like, full of photos and video footage to document this monumental event. We just wanted Treya to like us and trust us and I guessed that her extreme shyness also meant she would need at least one of us, hoping she would snuggle into my wanting arms, much the same as a newborn does, seeking comfort. Seamless would be our union.

Devi was more than ready to be a big sister. She had been dreaming of this day, falling more in love with her every minute leading up to this trip and knowing that Treya would instantly love her back. She loved washing the elephants and exploring the beaches of Goa, but couldn’t wait to play with Treya, hugging her and kissing her and just getting on with their lives making up for the two years head start Treya had had without us. Devi, quite the conversationalist, was certain that she and her baby sister would be instant friends, having long conversations and playing games and singing favorite songs together.

The moment we first saw her - assisted by Manda

Then there was Treya, with yet another agenda. Our first glimpse of her in person took by breath away. Dressed in pink gingham, her wispy black hair, fair skin and huge round dark eyes were unmistakable. Assisted for encouragement by an ayah, she was walked up to us and smiled brightly when we first met, recognizing us from photos that she had been shown for the weeks leading up to this union. She was lifted into my arms but went stiff, resisting my embrace and my kisses. The whole meeting, she tolerated us at best, certainly not wanting to establish a lasting relationship. Treya would cautiously walk by us at more than an arms length from one room to the next for hours. Siting a line from Mo Wilim’s Knuffle Bunny, Treya would “go boneless” in an effort to become dead weight, hence getting as far from me as possible whenever I tried to hold her or engage her, but would eagerly run up to others, even volunteers at the orphanage that she had never met, for comfort, which tore at my heart. For days Pat, with a camera in his hands and worry in his eyes, followed me, following her all over the place as she would run and hide from me. He took few photos, as the scene did not hold the makings of fond memories, in fact many frames were snapped after she had tucked herself behind a corner, escaping our view. Exasperated, even Devi was frustrated by Treya’s rejection. Who knew that Treya would have little language skills (certainly not understanding any English) and would be a loner, preferring to help in the kitchen rather than play with other children? We tried to meet her on her own terms, but it was simply not working.

Chasing Treya

The night before taking custody of Treya, we decided to have one last outing as a family of three, treating Devi to the Pune circus. I’ll never forget, sitting there watching the hilarity of the clowns through scared straight eyes, thinking how would I get that child, who wouldn’t even let me hold her, out of the orphanage, into an auto richshaw and back to our hotel...much less get her onto an airplane and fly for 27 hours! I prayed over this, and prayed hard for strength, both physical and mental, for wisdom, and to ease the toughened heart of this wee one, that she might begin to feel our love for her.

The first time she let me hold her

The next day, our Adoption day, something was different. Everyone could sense it, the staff even stating that they were all certain Treya was ready to leave with us, though her actions since our arrival that morning seemed much the same as the previous days. At last the time came for the girls to change into the Rajastani dresses for the ceremony. As a sign of a true answer to prayer, Treya brought her dress to me and lifted her arms for ME to slip the dress over her precious head. Once dressed, she would only allow me to pick her up, a sweet embrace that I will never forget - breathing in her scent, feeling the beat of her heart against my chest and the weight of her body on my hip. Her sad eyes stared into my teary ones and we began to “learn” each other’s gaze, as only a mother and daughter can know. Escaping the stress of the situation and in an act of great trust, she laid her head on my shoulder, her arms not touching me, but rather held limp straight down at her sides, she fell asleep.

In contrast, today we took our first Treya Forever Family Day trip to Gateway to India for dinner to celebrate, which demanded all the fanfare and finery the girls could imagine. Matching dresses, bangle bracelets, singing and holding hands in the car along the way. After a warm welcome by the restaurant owner we found our seats and the girls, giddy with excitement, ordered their mango lassis drinks. We toasted to our special day and our meal was eaten over laughter, story telling and many trips together to the bathroom :). Both girls stuffed themselves to bursting with their favorite dishes. Devi gobbling her samosas and Treya, a bit miffed that we would dare cover her plate with anything else; shoveled in her basmati rice. An Indian meal would not be complete without gulab jamin for dessert, and chai for mommy, which we all managed to leave just enough room to consume.

Once home, we watched the two videos I've made for each girl that tells their story. They were busy bees playing while the frames clicked by until the portion in each where their lullaby music begins to play. At that moment, each girl stopped what they were doing and climbed into my lap to be rocked and watch the pictures fade from one to the next showing them growing up before their very eyes. Treya was especially giggly watching herself smile and zoom around the screen in a baby walker, taken at about one year of age.

It is times like these that I have to think hard about the girl we first met and the one we know now in Treya. One in the same, but yet so very different. The girl who once dodged even my glances, now has hugging contests with me to see who can give the tightest embrace. The girl who would not let me get close enough for a kiss, now delights in kisses given by lip, or eyelash or even rubbing noses, Eskimo style. This girl holds my hand, tickles me, and teases me. This girl, after our final good nights, yells to me "I-ub-oo" through the cracked door of darkness. This girl, who would not speak now calls me Momma.

The beginnings of our recent and
rare snowfall.

Although our first meeting was frustrating, hard, and full of challenges, now I can see that it was perfectly orchestrated. We each learned so much from a two year old in those first difficult days. I was reminded that relationships take work and I learned the true meaning of loving unconditionally, making special milestones like today seem so much more sweet. For these life lessons, I give my thanks to my darling Treya. From you we experience a heightened emotional state as you experience your firsts at an older age than most, with a higher level of comprehension. The awe of newly fallen snow, the delight of a cookie fresh out of the oven, and the joy that comes from successfully threading a bead on a pipe cleaner. You are never a dull moment, a tough teacher, and a blessing to our family in so many incredible ways. Happy Forever Family Day to my Jelly Bean!

2012-01-02T14:38:00.001-08:00

Ross family - Christmas 2011

“Mom. Santa came. He did. He came!” were the first words I heard, bedside at 5:30am. Pulling her by arm and leg into bed between Pat and I, catching a glimpse of the three Disney princesses that adorn the front of her pink nightgown slide pass before my eyes, my response was, “How wonderful! but it is too early.” Thankfully the pumpkin pie fell back asleep and slept until nearly 7. (This is extremely late for her). The jelly bean finally had to be jiggled awake soon there after, as the excitement in those extra minutes had mounted to nearly uncontrollable levels. I leaned into the crib and whispered, “Merry Christmas. Santa came sweetie!” Bolting upright, she was instantly awake and rearing to go! Dev took Trey by the hand and led her to the railing that overlooks the family room and Christmas tree, bright with lights, in the early morning darkness. The tree was full with gifts and the stockings bulging with evidence that some do-gooders must live at this house. Treya lost her breath in a gasp as she witnessed the facts for herself. “L-fan, L-fan” she screamed as she spied an Elephant poised and ready for it’s first hug, certain it was meant for her. “And a Razor Scooter” yelled Devi, with a sort of knowing giggle, high pitched in her throat in excitement.

Pausing at the landing to sing a quick Happy Birthday to baby Jesus laying in the manger of the nativity, the girls picked up the pace, Devi jogged off toward the tree to see first hand what surrounded it’s slightly sagging boughs, followed by our bouncy gaited Trey, pony tails bobbing along . Treya went for the elephant, grabbed it-hugged it, and for her, having received few possessions to call her very own in her young life, Christmas was done. That set the tone for our Christmas morning spent leisurely opening and exploring each new gift. Papa and Gail joined us to watch the girls’ excitement, pausing for breakfast mid way through.

It is hard to believe that just one year ago, the unforgettable news we received, just two days before Christmas, was that we were India bound to meet our Sonalika. I marvel now at how we managed to get everything done and in order for that trip, smack dab in the middle of the holiday season. Recalling the boneless, headstrong and painfully shy child we soon met, I am in awe of her remarkable progress; appropriately stealing a lyric from a carol...What Child Is This?

Ready for church and just a little excited!

Just hours before, she was the one toddling hand in hand beside her big sister, both in their holiday finest, to the pulpit for the Children’s message at church. There sat the youth pastor with a box - God’s gift to the world and inside was the baby Jesus. In comparison, last year, God’s gift to our family was this precious, once fragile, child, who now stood at that pulpit, bobbing and weaving to get a clear view of where we sat while wildly waving her arms and yelling “Hi momma!” at the top of her lungs, oblivious to the message he was trying to deliver, but overflowing with confidence that we belong together.

Dev is our attentive one, who politely listened to the message as the pastor explained about God’s gift of his son and all that that monumental event has done for us on earth, including bringing a Santa to us. He then randomly asked what the kids were hoping that Santa might bring them. While some asked for a specific toy, Dev replied, “I would like a live donkey and my sister asked for a live elephant!” which brought the house down in laughter.

Comic relief must run in the family as I attempted a smoking beef tenderloin once again this year - this time for a house full of 21 family members, our largest guest list yet, spanning three full sized tables sitting end to end. The youngest was Treya at nearly 3, and the oldest was Grams at 96! That fact alone, MADE my Christmas and fills my heart with joy.

Cranked up to 500 degrees I passed out towels for waving as the searing commenced. Somewhere along the line, just about the time everyone’s arms were about to fall off from fanning, the men, in pure Tim Allen style, fashioned a smoke remover out of my vacuum cleaner hose and packing tape. It got the job done, but I think may have rendered my hose unusable for the purpose it was intended, leaving the closet where it resides wafting with the smells of flavorful beef and melting plastic. I shutter to think what the inside of that greasy tube must look like now. None-the-less, the meat was cooked again to perfection (taking a slight bow) and every last morsel was consumed. Nearly blurry to me at her FAR end of the table Devi said, “I like meat, momma!” a statement, I dare say I never thought my vegetarian would spout, though I think she was using it primarily to facilitate getting the sour cream horseradish sauce into her mouth.

With the flurry of the day behind us and the rumble of the dishwasher scouring our once full plates clean, Pat and I sat on the couch...yes, exhausted. Throbbing feet up, and sipping one last glass of champagne we recounted the wonderful day. The reaction of the kids as they unwrapped an unexpected treasure, the jokes of the adults as we coveted our prize white elephant gifts won in exchange, the fellowship of our extended family together again and rubbing our agonizingly full bellies for comfort. At the end of this day of miracles, I think Treya said it best at bedtime - something I’ve never heard her say before. Clutching her elephant in the dimly lit room, she looked up at me from her crib with bright eyes and glowing white teeth wide in a smile saying, “Taya happy, Taya happy, Taya happy!”

Wow! Three tables seating 21 family members!

The Ross Family’s Top Ten Holiday List.

2011-12-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

Our household, now containing four pittery-pattery feet this holiday season is becoming more excited every day in anticipation of the arrival of Christmas, just like the static electricity that tends to build up in one’s hair and freshly washed socks exiting the dryer in these colder days. Busy as Santa’s elves, we’ve been funneling all this energy into fun holiday events to keep the kids from climbing the walls. From this comes our Top Ten Holiday List, or at least the things that bring this momma a smile.

1. We kicked off the season with a group Christmas card effort. From concept, to costume, to props, to art direction, photography and a little computer work, the girls were instrumental in pulling this one off. We gave them a few choices and this is what they came up with. We had a great time setting up and taking way more shots than were needed just because it was so much fun. We did struggle with natural smiles, as is typical of two and five year olds, so against my better judgement, I blurted “Poopy Pants!” right before I snapped THE photo...something I’m sure I will live to regret. Afterward, the girls didn’t want to stop the game so continued to play magic carpet ride in costume for the longest time.

2. On December 3rd, we celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. Typically, Pat and I have a grown up evening out, but since we had just returned from our Mexico trip, we decided to fore go the fantasy suite and just enjoy a family evening with dinner together - all four of us. I lit our unity candle (as we do every year) as our centerpiece, put on some of our wedding music and while daddy and I sipped champagne from our wedding toasting glasses, the girls joined in “chinging” their juice cups. We told them our wedding story and they giggled when we told them that daddy carried mom in her fluffy dress across the threshold. Daddy and I got up to dance to our annual “first dance” together in the dining room and before long the girls had gotten down off of their chairs and had joined us, wrapping their arms around our legs as we swayed to my Stevie Wonder favorite, With Each Beat Of My Heart, whose words seem even more fitting for the four of us now.

“You are my first breath

My first smile

And my morning cup of tea

Yours is the love

That I pray for

Before I go to sleep

From the time I saw your face

I knew no other could erase

My loving you with each beat of my heart

Until the day I heard you speak

I didn’t know that sound was sweet

Me hearing you in each beat of my heart”

3. One day we were singing Christmas Caroles in the car and Devi stopped us asking, “Instead of Rudolph, mom, why didn’t Santa just carry a flashlight?” It is in those thoughtful moments that I love being a mom best, I think. On her own she reasoned that Santa’s batteries must have died.

4. Treya’s mastery of “Rudolph” shines through as one of her more prouder moments. The girl really can’t carry a tune, but she can BELT IT OUT! Nothing brings a smile quicker than hearing “DO-DOLL dah ed ozed ANN DARE....add a darey high knee OZE!” None of the words are right, but the sentiment is hard to miss. She knows “Twinkle, Twinkle” too and it is sung just as robustly :).

5. Dev can be a bit anal. We like to say she is detail oriented. One afternoon she was playing with her Playmobil nativity set and from the kitchen I could see that she kept darting from the family room to the foyer. Not once or twice, but to the point where my mom antenna went up, concerned that something was a miss. I caught her in mid dash and found that she was consulting the position of each of the pieces of my “do not touch” Lenex nativity in one room and setting hers up to match EXACTLY in the other room, wanting to get it just right! She was so proud of her display.

6. Good night night behavior is a collective effort because the girls share a room. It requires that Treya be quiet in bed and Devi stay in bed all night and that they work together to help each other accomplish this task. After the Mexico trip, the sleep schedule got a bit messed up, but using team work they earned a Gingerbread House Kit, which we spent one Sunday afternoon decorating. After a few arguments about who got to do what, we worked it out and they did a great job gluing candy (mom’s secret plot to rid the house of left over Halloween candy) all over the gingerbread house. I was really surprised how excited they got about planning the best use of the candy. I, on the other hand sounded like a broken record telling them don't eat it, stating we have no idea when it was manufactured and what was put into to it to keep it "fresh". Hansel and Gretel would be so jealous!

7. One night, just after I said, “Amen!” at the end of our night night prayer, Devi said, “Oh! and God, just one more thing. Please help all the orphan kids in India know that their forever familes are coming for them. Amen” Tear up? OH YES! I was a mess. For whatever reason, Devi has been obsessed asking if random people are/were orphans and playing Ayah - reenacting our union with Treya. Devi is the Ayah, we are the parents and Treya plays herself.

8. Treya’s daycare class made hot cocoa as a gift for their parents this year. They sent it home early so we could enjoy it through the holidays. Together, for our night time snack, we made four cups of simmering chocolaty goodness. She was so so proud of this gift. With a brown frothy mustache, she clung to her white mug and kept saying, “Mmmmm, ott toe-co, mommy! Ott toe-co!” It is really delicious...the best home-made mix I’ve ever had. Not that I am biased!

9. Last weekend we bundled the kids up, put them in the stroller and headed out to see Zoolights at our local zoo just three blocks away. I popped corn with cranberries and cashews, which Dev called “fancy festive”. Treya was so mesmerized that she barely ate hers; a first for her to give up food! The weather was crisp as we sang our way there and back, enjoying all the bright lights. The highlight at the end of the evening was riding the big carousel. Treya astride her “neigh-neigh” named Precious and Devi mounted on Destiny; two appropriately named ponies.

10. Our last lazy Sunday afternoon was spent making a big 3 foot by 4 foot green felt Christmas tree and a dozen felt ornaments, decorated with remnants of trim, rick-rack and lace. (I secretly gloated over this, as it justifies my pack rat tendencies to my husband - the reason why I hold onto even 3 inches of something :) The next couple of hours (yes, hours) the girls spent taking turns decorating and redecorating that felt tree. Treya would say, “Close eye” when it was her turn so we would be surprised with her result. We had a Christmas movie playing in the background and a fire in the fireplace. It just does not get much better than that!

There have been so many more magical moments in this first year all together, but for now I will stop at ten as there is still wrapping to be done and kids to corral. To all those who still blog stalk, Merry Christmas.

Smitten By Santa

2011-12-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

With swaying fancy dresses on hangers filling the back seat windows, I sped from work to pick up the girls and meet Pat for our annual trip to visit Santa. I don’t know who would be more nervous - the girls or myself. For the past few weeks we’ve been trying to explain the big picture to Treya. Even Devi has been trying to help. I caught her one morning filling a holiday pillow case she had just received from one of our generous neighbors with her toys. With Treya totally engrossed, toddling behind, Dev unpacking her sack and neatly arranging the toys under our Christmas tree, all the while explaining to Treya that this is what Santa does for good boys and girls. Later DeeDee did the same, as she set up her play nativity, explaining where all the major players go and what their role was in His glorious birth. The Christmas story, the many nativities that adorn our house, the decorated hearth, Santa and his reindeer, shopping for a needy family, the lights, Advent calendars - the list goes on and on. For a newly transplanted two year old, it is a lot to grasp. All the while, Treya has been carrying the past framed photos of Devi and Santa around, fascinated by the pictures and trying so desperately to figure it all out. One day she brought a frame to me, pointed her finger to Devi’s spot on the jolly ole guys lap and exclaimed, “Me, me!” the signal that she was ready to take the next step.

Quickly changing clothes in the back of the van and primping their slightly disheveled nap time hair, the four of us were off to join the “good girl” line. A near disaster occurred when daddy threw Devi up on his hip to safely cross the parking lot of anxious shoppers behind the wheel. Devi’s shoe hit the bag of cookies especially chosen for Santa in daddy’s coat pocket. The word mutilation comes to mind as we all stared down at the bag of crumbs that once formed a pinwheel and gingerbread sweet treat. What followed was a teary small meltdown, as Devi was crushed (no pun intended) with disappointment. Quick thinking, I said, “No worries, Santa can’t have cookies while on duty anyway because his white gloves would get all dirty.”

Excitement mounted as we edged ever closer to the big green stuffed chair, recognized by Devi right off as the spot where the jolly guy sits. I kept a keen eye on Treya, who goes along with things pretty well, until her uncertainty gets the better of her and she retreats (refer to pig post when we visited the Puyallup fair). She was doing great, meeting other kids in line, twirling in her pretty dress and making her bouncy pony tails bounce. Devi was glued to the TV monitor set up to keep the kids in check, watching scenes of Christmas movies flash by and yelling out the characters she recognized.

Finally, with just one family ahead of us, it was game on for Dev, who stepped up to the edge of Santa’s carpet, smoothed her dress, pushed back the dainty wispy ringlets that have always naturally formed right at her temples and readied her list for a prompt, yet accurate display. Treya on the other hand was beginning to get that deer-in-the-headlights look - the look that is all too reminiscent of when she first came home and would hide under the furniture. Slowly, she began to inch back behind daddy’s legs to hide. About that time, Santa’s helper motioned for Devi to come forward. Dev proudly marched up and started making pleasantries with Santa. In a panic and fearing that Treya may bolt down the mall corridor to flee the situation, I reached my finger down for her to hold for security.

In that split second, Treya peered around daddy’s leg, saw that Devi was in mid-conversation with the large bearded man. Taking a deep breath of confidence or feeling suddenly extremely competitive, I don’t know which, she chicken winged her elbow around daddy’s knee to push him behind her, making way for a clear path toward that jolly old elf. Grabbing her own list from my hand she muscled her way, roller derby style, up to Santa, just in time to hear, “You princesses look so beautiful!” That is all it took. Treya was smitten. Her bravery brought tears to my eyes, such a change in her we’ve seen in eleven short months.

Both girls made the best of impressions, politely explaining their list and delivering their good behavior resumes. Expressed with superb articulation, Devi asked for a razor scooter and books...educational books that is. I thought it was kind of cute that she specified the educational part all on her own; our studious one. With a bit of translation required of me, Treya asked for an elephant. A live elephant. When we made the lists days earlier, we explained that we have no suitable enclosure for such a large pet and hygiene would be a major issue. Who would scoop the?...well you know. Mostly, however, Santa does not deliver live animals, as it is unsafe for them to make a journey like that in a sleigh. Thankfully, Santa’s rules did not change as he expressed his same concerns. Treya also asked for coffee...for her momma. Our sweet and thoughtful girl.

Sealing the deal, Santa gingerly granted each girl a Merry Christmas with a candy cane sucker. Turning to go, Treya put her tiny hand in his monstrous gloved one to say thank you. Her beautiful brown skin contrasting with his lilly white glove making her newly formed fingers that much more apparent. To this Santa gently kissed them and waved bye bye. Both girls blew kisses back which Santa caught on his rosy cheek with a grin.

As I escorted the girls away, Devi said, “He is so nice, momma.” and Treya confirmed that thought with “dood mah, momma...dood mah!” which means, “Good man, momma, good man!” Adorned with paper antlers that Treya would not take off until she landed in bed, we all heaved another sigh - Pat and I so relieved that this years Santa experience was so positive and showed so much growth in both our girls. For our sugarplums, dreamy sleep came easily, knowing that their wish list was finally safely in the hands of Kris Kringle himself.

Another One Under Our Belt

2011-12-18T13:35:00.001-08:00

The Ross Family - first family vacation 2011

A Thanksgiving trip to Mexico, that is. Our first family trip as a family of four, plus a dozen or so other close friends and family members! We did it. Sigh. I am happy to report that both girls are excellent travelers. Airports and planes don't phase them in the slightest. This comes as a huge relief, as Treya sort of freaked out a bit when she saw the suitcases come up from the basement in preparation. Because Treya still has limited language, much of our time is spent trying to decipher what she is trying to convey. Through evaluation, we discovered this time that she was concerned that we were going away and leaving her. A perfectly reasonable deduction when you consider there was a mommy suitcase, a daddy suitcase and a Devi suitcase. Hold everything! Off we went to Target to get a Treya suitcase (which matches Devi’s, of course) which made Treya’s world round again. Phew!

Treya HATES the beach!

Devi LOVES the beach!

Both girls love the pool and swimming!

Palace Resorts welcomed us with open arms for our 6th annual Mexico trip. With a group of 18, they did a good job of trying to accommodate our request to sit together or at least close to each other at meals. Although the weather was overcast and windy, it was still warm and there is just something rejuvenating about the warmth of the sun. Perfect timing to refuel before the hustle and bustle of the Christmas holiday. Unfortunately, I caught a cold which I brought with me and which decided to enjoy the whole trip with me too. There is something completely wrong about wearing a bikini and carrying a kleenex, but I tried to not have it slow us down much. I did learn, however, that cold medicine and an adult beverage do not mix.

Dionna, Shawn & Kasey - friends from the YMCA

Papa and Gail

Roly & Chris - friends we met on a barefoot cruise years ago.

Uncle David & Aunt Obie

Kasey, Dev and Cousin Jordan hanging out.

Treya keeps her feet off the sand with the help of cousin Olivia

Devi was completely in her element. What a difference a year makes. Old enough to play with cousins and friends somewhat unsupervised, it was fun to watch as they disappeared into their imaginations. Mermaid island was born and the girls lived so many adventures as baby mermaids, or caring for their make believe dolphin and seal friends. Sand castles and tide pools became the kitchen for their wild life friends - cooking up all kinds of seaweed concoctions. Chasing birds, making footprints in the sand and discovering that she finally likes the spicy bubbles of a Shirley Temple and could order a Strawberry Daiquiri (with no adult part) all by herself were the highlights for Dev. Such the life, mom and dad even allow Froot Loops while on vacation - a morning ritual for both girls.

Such the polar opposite of Dev sometimes, Treya hates the sand, the ocean, seaweed, anything that sticks to her and anything that has to do with the beach, but she loves the pool and applying sunscreen to anyone who would hold still long enough to apply it. Though shivering most of the time she was wet, she never tired of the slide and other fun pool attractions in the kiddy pool and tried to keep up with the older girls. Treya is a salsa girl, and even with tears streaming down her face from the spice, would continue to spoon it in, facilitated by a bip (chip). This trip was an introduction to so many firsts for her including extended family and friends. Naturally, she glommed onto the men as her true charm continues to develop. Treya slept in the jacuzzi tub, the only space large enough to accommodate her corrective shoes and wallowed in her royal crib until experiencing a real bed at nap time. Looks like the new year may be bringing new sleeping arrangements at our house too.

Ladies spa day

Mens golf day.

The adults each enjoyed a day of indulgence. For me, it was a day at the spa with the other traveling ladies. Nothing says pampering like a fluffy robe, sipping rejuvenating teas and receiving a wonderful aromatherapy massage. Pat joined the other boys for a round of golf on an awarding winning Jack Nicklaus course, complete with moving hazards in the form of crocodiles! A huge golfing fan, I could see the glow of satisfaction on his face at the end of the day. Pat and I also enjoyed a romantic lobster dinner for two one night, thanks to the babysitting services of the other very capable 9 adults, plus Oma being instrumental in ensuring our grown up time while away. Minus my near need of the Heimlich, it was a wonderful meal spent hearing the crashing of waves and staring into the eyes of my loved one chatting....about the girls :)

Olivia, Jordan & Dev show how vacationing is done

All Rosses! Olivia, Oma, Aunt Shannon, Me, Uncle George
Devi, Treya and Jordan

Best buddies!

The lengths that Treya will go to so she does not have to touch the sand

As always it seems our plane just lands and it is time to go. We did have a chance to catch up with old friends, and reconnect with family that we had not seen in a long time. All in all, a true week of thankfulness as we begin to dream of next years trip only 12 short months away. For me that dream includes thoughts of sunshine, real creamery ice cream, the best darned guacamole I’ve ever had, and watching our girls grow up before our very eyes.

One Whole Hand!

2011-11-16T21:56:00.000-08:00

My pumpkin pie turns 5!

Laying it on thick, I received many I Love You, Mommy's as DeeDee’s birthday approached. She is a master manipulator and I say that with both chuckles under my breath and concern. At 5 she can snow most of her friends and extended family, trick her sister into giving her pretty much whatever she wants and be the most persuasive child and the sweetest child I’ve ever known. No doubt this trait will be an asset at some point in life, but for now Pat and I try to be acutely aware of what is going on as much as we can. So far she has not sold us waterfront property in the desert...yet.

At first, she really was set on having another princess party, a basic reenactment of last years celebration, but with a bit of coaxing, together, we chose to host a “chef” party and have it at Devi’s Birthday Bistro...aka our kitchen. This decision did not come without a bit of bargaining. The negotiation eventually lead to her one requirement - a fairy cake. Easy enough...Done!

The budding chefs

With the theme decided and envisioning herself as the future hostess, Devi told me countless times how she would help her guests during the party, making sure they each had a flower on their piece of cake, explaining her willingness to share and that she would consult an adult if anyone needed assistance while cooking. The conversation was darling, though I doubted any of these things would actually happen when the time came. Devi is so consumed by doing everything the right way.

Both girls made a tour of the house on the morning of the party, mouth agape, to find bright crepe paper streamers and ginormous cut outs of sprinkled cupcakes decorating the walls of the two main celebration rooms that mysteriously arrived during the night. Our easeled chalkboard served as our sidewalk sign, positioned at the front door welcoming guests to Devi’s Birthday Bistro.

Chef hats were decorated while we awaited the arrival of all the guests. It was fun to see how creative the girls of this age group are starting to get as they added their names and drew pictures of themselves along with creative scribbling all produced in their favorite colored markers. I need not have to explain which colors those might be for most, except for Treya, whose favorite hue is black.

Spreading the dough into a 6 inch circle

With sufficiently clean hands, the eight epicureans, dressed in the pink cupcake aprons I made, found a spot around the table to make our first recipe - fresh fruit kabobs. Each chef skewered fruit of their choice onto coffee straws; one for themselves and one for their mothers. Devi just ate her fruit - her favorite food group - a craving she can not deny.

Entrees were next, as we created individual pizzas using Grand muffins for the crust. The table was a swirl of creativity as each girl patted and stretched their skin out to the edges of the circles I provided showing the correct size for our dough. Sauced and cheesy, eight very different topped pizzas, some heavily loaded and others sparse, were ready for baking in no time, which allowed us time to play a couple of games. Blind folded mini marshmallow scooping, proved to be frustrating for neat-nick Devi as she watched the guests play, upset that so many marshmallows were missing the appropriate bowl and landing on the floor. Treya just figured those were fair game and would grab them up and stuff them into her mouth. Her cheeks filled with sugary fluff was the signal that perhaps this game was beyond her comprehension. A poster sized Devi, holding an empty plate provided the task of our next game as each blindfolded girl taped a cupcake to, what they thought was an appropriate spot. The winner, was a friend who had a hard time not peaking!

The slightly bigger than life size "place the cupcake on the plate" results.

Amazing how much more lunch actually goes in the mouth when they make it themselves! Everyone raved about their own recipe and ate heartily, refueling the budding chefs to tackle our last task - decorating cake pops! Relatively easy to make, I had the doughy balls “sticked” and ready to be decorated. Each girl helped me twist the cake pop into the molten candy melt and gently tap off the excess drippings. Then they were free to decorate to their hearts content with various kinds of their favorite candy with gummy bears, chocolate covered raisins and Runts leading the way. Styrofoam served as our hardening rack and later the masterpieces were bagged in cellophane to take home.

We ended the party with a robust round of the Birthday song and encouraged Devi, the perfectionist, as she blew each candle out, one at a time, to ensure that they were sufficiently extinguished. To heck with the wish, she feels strongly that some tasks should be completed in a particular fashion - birthday candles being one of them. Completely out of breath, she invited the girls to help blow out the last candle, which brought an immediate gush of wind getting the job done and spurring shouts of celebratory hoorays.

Cake pops before decorations

Devi deep in concentration decorating her cake pop

The kids' creations

Sister chefs

The Old Spaghetti factory was Dev’s dinner of choice this year, celebrated on the 15th with just our family of four. At the ripe old age of 5, Dev decided that pokey blanket no longer needs to ride in the car, but rather can wait on her bed for use only at night time. Instead, she insisted on carrying a purse with the essentials (two fairy dolls) to dinner, which is really funny when you consider I never have carried a purse, but somehow she has decided that this is what grown up girls do.

Mysteriously, a real bicycle was found in our living room when we returned, the gift that she not so subtly had been hinting about for months, since growing big enough to practice on the one at preschool during recess. The nasty weather required an indoor test drive, as she skillfully maneuvered the “glitter” bike around the kitchen island several times, ringing her bell from Oma, several times to alert the rest of us to get out of the way.

I must admit that when the 15th came, her actual birthday, I found myself to be rather nostalgic, becoming teary eyed at the realization of her maturity and growth. When first united, she held up no fingers - now five! A whole hand! Where did that time go? She is most definitely not a baby any more, but rather a budding delightfully witty and smart child who willingly calls me momma. When one talks about gifts at birthday times, I am the one that was somehow received this prize. Devi, I love you so much. I love that you are not perfect and that we are learning together how to reveal your most wonderful qualities and understand and express those that need molding in other ways. You are a delight....a shining star...who brings joy and laughter, challenges and tenderness. Though I don’t want to rush through even a single minute, my mind can’t help but wander as I watch you mature into such a fine compassionate young lady. We love you, DeeDee!

Life's Tricks and Treats

2011-11-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

Treya's first trip to the pumpkin patch - The Double R Ranch

Much in the same way a weary traveler is jolted to attention on a moving sidewalk at the airport, so am I when ripping the September page from my desk calendar. Even “falling back” with daylight savings time does not slow the accelerated pace we seem to set in motion from October 1 to the end of the year. This is nothing new for Pat, Devi or myself as we coordinate and plan our way through our normal day by day obligations AND Diwali, Halloween, birthdays, Thanksgiving - usually spent in Mexico, and then preparing for Christmas. It is exhausting even to type it.

Poor Treya must be confused beyond belief as the house mysteriously changes during the night and she awakens to a different motif. I think this has literally happened three times in the course of the past week going from Diwali decor to Halloween decorations - including finding a big hairy spider hanging above the kids’ chairs at the kitchen island, to now Devi’s birthday, bright with crepe paper streamers. We are doing our best to bring Trey up to speed, but I've caught her singing the birthday song next to a pumpkin, and saying happy Diwali on Halloween. She looked at me like I had lost my marbles when I encouraged her to plunge her hand into the ooey gooey insides of a pumpkin. The pause and wrinkled brow she gave while trying to process the words had me in stitches, and it took much cajoling to get her to explore the inside of that pumpkin. In the end, she did, but had to have a towel in her lap at all times to continually wipe off her hands.

The King, The Queen, Rapunzel & Nymph

These new experiences and her responses give reason to stop and pause. What an incredible amount of trust she has put in me as her mother and Pat and Devi. Trey is constantly surveying every situation and trying to read our reactions through words, body language and facial expression, then respond in ways she deems appropriate. We take this trust so much for granted, I think in most instances our expectations of her are way too high, which leads to frustration on everyone’s part. I often just assume that Treya will accept things or experience them in the same way that Devi did at the same age, which couldn’t be farther from reality. Devi has always been much more outgoing and laid back about new situations while Treya to be more reserved and hesitant.

I forget that she has only been in this country for eleven months and so much of our daily lives are still filled with “firsts” for her. While Treya’s need to feel like a contributor is huge, her reluctance to try new things is equally as limiting, creating her two extremes. We have to be so careful, because Treya, in an effort to be helpful, will attempt to assist in ways that are not safe, especially in the kitchen. If I am cooking and she knows what utensil I will need next, she will silently attempt to bring it to me or complete the task herself, regardless if it is chopping with a knife, or retrieving a hot pan. Granted she handles the items correctly, having “worked” in the kitchen at the orphanage, her behavior is obviously not appropriate or her age. When corrected she becomes so confused, not realizing we are correcting for unsafe behavior, not that the way that she attempted to complete a task was incorrect.

With the evolution of trust also comes the opening of one’s heart–mine and Treya’s. Call it attachment or bonding, it is a connecting of souls, a gradual process uncontrolled by conscious thought. It is not saying the words I Love You, or blowing kisses or even going through the motions of seeking out cuddles when one needs TLC after a bump or bruise. Stealing a quote from Sleepless in Seattle, “...it is a million little tiny things, that when you add them all up, they mean we are suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw her. It was like...magic. For the past eleven months, we’ve been peeling away the layers of onion skin protecting our hearts and slowly letting the other in. It is so hard to put into words what is happening or how it is happening, but our relationship becomes more and more natural every day. The process is not always easy to navigate, but the rewards are undeniable.

So on to Halloween. Back to the Double R Ranch we each selected our pumpkin, where the beginning stages of planning their jack-o-lantern faces began. Then we attended a Harvest Party at the YMCA where Pat and I won the adult costume contest a few days before the 31st. Whoot! (Amazing what one can make with an old discarded women's bathrobe). By that time, Trey had mastered the words trick-or-treat adding much enthusiasm when she realized that candy is doled out when you say it loud enough. Devi, the oldest of our group of kids, led the pack around the neighborhood in her "I am experienced and will take care of you" way, where once again our Rapunzel and Nymph were spoiled rotten by our gift bag giving neighbors. We ended our evening with delirious children wielding full buckets of sweets. Treya was announcing "night-night" as we rounded the corner to our home front. Now a week later, we've still not made even a small dent in the amount of candy in our house which seems to whisper to me "I'm here" in the middle of the night. So far I've managed to avoid the temptation!

Happy Diwali 2011

2011-10-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

Our Family - Diwali 2011

For Treya, this past Saturday, brought a bit of familiarity to her ever changing world, as we celebrated Diwali - the festival of lights, one of the only holidays she knows. With a nod of confidence while saying Diwali, you knew she understood completely what we were discussing as the girls eagerly helped me prepare for our Indian feast. During the week preceding we busied ourselves discovering how to make home made paneer and pickled cucumbers and decorated our house for the big event.

We teach that the holiday is a day to symbolically open our hearts, removing all obstacles, so that good things and prosperity might come our way. We celebrate our friends and family and all the joys life has offered us, through the lighting of candles and lanterns throughout the house. Much in the same way that we leave cookies for Santa, we adorned our front door with rangoli, bells and lanterns and just on the table inside, we decorated a puja thali to help lure the luck of Lakshmi in. Our puja thali, or offering plate, is a brass plate with two painted peacocks in the middle that we purchased on our first trip to India to meet Devi. Placed on it was a bell, a bowl of rice to symbolize prosperity, a bowl of Indian coins to represent life’s riches, bright gold foil wrapped candy, incense, a small diya and the two mirrored katoris (tiny bowls) presented to us at Treya’s adoption ceremony, that were filled with flower petals. All were arranged by the girls (over and over again) until a design they thought looked pretty was agreed upon.

Devi was adamant that they wear their Rajastani dresses from Treya’s ceremony, which fit them both much better than 10 months ago when they received them and she requested one thick braid straight down the back, “like the Indian girls like me wear, mom.” Complete with bangles, bindi’s and the necklaces they received from Trey’s ayahs, they were ready to receive our guests. As each person arrived, they chose a light in our house to light and as the night grew darker, we found ourselves aglow in the flicker of candle light.

Once again trying my hand at Indian cooking, I chose a non-traditional Diwali feast, selecting dishes that I thought I could pull off, preparing a meal for our group, 14 people strong. We had spiced nuts, papadams and samosas with mint and mango chutneys to start, while sipping champagne topped with a splash of pomegranate juice; the kids with mango lassis. Manning the grill, oven, stove top and electric skillet, I frantically stirred simmered, roasted and unfortunately overcooked one dish, but for the most part I was pleased with the result. Our menu included tandoori prawns, chicken & paneer tikka masala, aloo gobi, a curried pea and almond salad, saffron rice, pickled cucumbers, raita, and naan bread. Pumpkin cakes and Kahlua Cardamon Kulfi with chai tea lattes made up the dessert. For anyone interested, most of the recipes were from Aarti Sequeira, the winner of season 6 of the Food Network Star and host of Aarti Party. They were easy to follow and fun to prepare.

I can’t put into words, the joy and gratitude that I have for my family and friends, who have so willingly accepted this culture that captivated Pat and I long algo, but which is all new to them. The unfamiliar foods, and the customs that we are making tradition for our girls, have been embraced from the start, making the hosting part extraordinarily fun for me. Devi proudly explained what everything was, what about the food she loves and why we do things a certain way, as if she has always lived in India and all this comes natural to her. Treya is a silly girl, but becomes more than serious when food is involved. I love the look of determination she gets as she trembles with the strain of her mouth, opened to it’s widest point, making way for a heaping spoon full of food to enter, then continuing to struggle to close her lips enough to begin chewing.

Last year at Diwali, we focused on moving our own major obstacle as we anxiously awaited our NOC and guardianship of dear Treya. This year we know of so many with that same or similar struggle that we decided to try to help move others’ obstacles in our festival of lights celebration. The girls and I wrote the names of all the Indian children who have been matched with a family but who are still in various stages of the court process and the names of all the families that have not yet been matched with a child, on a sky lantern. In all, 14 names were added: Indra, Bindu, Karuna, Baby C, Varsha, Urmilla, Neha, the Welsers, the Leschke’s, the Jacob’s, the Crook’s, the Cooper’s, the Baxter’s, the Brice Family and a heart for anyone I may have forgotten. We had all the guests assemble on our deck and we explained the significance of each name and our wish for them. The lantern was ignited, and when fully inflated was set adrift into the dark sky. Everyone cheered and clapped as the lantern was caught by a gust of wind and sailed over the Puget Sound. We silently watched it float away until it was completely out of sight. We ended the evening with a rousing explosion of snaps from pull-string poppers followed with hugs and Happy Diwali wishes.

Pull String Poppers!

When I put Devi to bed, she asked me, “Mommy, how will I know if Lakshmi comes to our house to bring us prosperity?” I explained that she really does not come into our house, but rather the idea of her exists in our hearts and minds to help remind us to have good behavior because good behavior always leads to good things.” Satisfied, she snuggled down to sleep. Ironically, the next day when we returned to our car after an outing, a pile of loose change was on the ground outside my car door. Devi said, “Mommy, mommy, Lakshmi brought you prosperity!” On that note, Happy Diwali everyone.

Has It Run It's Course?

2011-10-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

Initially, A Princess Born of India was started to help Pat and I connect with a child we had not yet met, but whom we longed to love. The soul purpose was to record the history of how our family was built; that my girls would have an accurate account of the details of their stories long after my memory begins to fail me. Over the years, the blog has evolved and has worn many hats. It became the place we could proudly show off the latest facial expressions of our two children before they joined our families. Blogging was the main source of information to our families and friends when we traveled abroad. It has been my source of serenity, realizing a love of writing through sharing emotional experiences I thought I would never feel in becoming a mother. And it has been a wonderful time capsule to reflect on how our lives have changed in the past several years since it’s conception.

Pleasantly, it became a connection to an unexpected group of readers; people who share similar parenting issues, or whom we share the bond of adoption or love of India. Many contacted me privately seeking help surviving the adoption gauntlet, looking for attachment ideas or simply to introduce the children that hold their hearts as they, too wait. Although I am no expert in these areas, I have sincerely enjoyed that connection. To think that a post about adoption delays may have helped ease the minds of another in a similar predicament, or that exposing ourselves through the details of a parenting disaster brought encouragement from readers makes blogging so worth the effort.

I know eventually the girls will no longer want their private lives displayed for all to see, at which point I will journal for them in private. I had thought that would be when they are considerably older, but now that our adoptions are final (and I don’t currently have another one planned...yet) the connections I had been making are beginning to become fewer in number. The blog receives less and less traffic and certainly even less comments, leading me to believe that I am reaching fewer readers through the topics that I post now, fogging the need to broadcast our story via the internet. When we were hip wading through the international bog of adoption I clung onto anyone’s success story I could find, so to return the favor, if there is a readership that is encouraged, or finds value in the words shared, I would love to hear from you. Please help me make the hard decision to become newly inspired to continue on or put A Princess Born of India to bed.

If you would like to email privately, I welcome that too. (greenden@comcast.net)

Ziggy!

2011-10-13T21:23:00.001-07:00

Rarely is it ever quiet in our house. Though the children take responsibility for part of the ruckus, much of the serenity of silence is happily interrupted by the sound of music. The stereo in our house is flipped into it’s on position with speakers emitting anything from drum beats of Africa or unique sound of an Indian sitar to melodic notes sung by Michael Bublé or preschool jingles sung by children (a 4 CD set - Lord help us) about as often as one would turn on the lights. Thankfully, we all tend to be easily appeased and agreeable when loading the CD player.

Pat and I have enjoyed various musical styles throughout the years - yes, even heavy metal finding a place in our vast repertoire. Given my hair style and taste in clothing, I suppose it is not much of a stretch to imagine us listening to reggae either. If fact, it is one of my favorite genres to hear live. I challenge anyone to try and hold still once hearing the rhythms of this uplifting island music. You simply can’t keep yourself from swaying, nodding your head or moving your feet for long.

Recently, Pat surprised me with tickets to see Ziggy Marley at a small local venue. For those unaware, Ziggy is the son of Bob Marley who is known as the father of the reggae movement. We’ve been playing Bob’s hits for years, but Ziggy is a bit more of an untapped source, with the exception of his children’s album Family Time. Our whole family, including our newest member Trey rates this CD as one of our favorites. Devi shouts out which numbered track she would like to listen to next, Pat and I find ourselves listening to it - even when the children are not in the car, and Treya, with her limited language skills actually sings these songs while bobbing her head, of course. The music is light, sends a positive message, promotes family and the melodies are unique, holding even an adults attention.

Outside of Family Time, and a few of his hits, I was somewhat unfamiliar with Ziggy’s music, but figured the evening would be enjoyable all the same. What a surprise when Pat called the day before the show announcing we had been chosen to go backstage after the concert and meet him! The girls were so jealous. I decided to make this a fun moment for them too.

The concert was fantastic. We enjoyed it so much, but the excitement came afterwards when we got to meet Ziggy. Because he is so family oriented, I showed him pictures of our girls and explained how we became a family. Then I showed him the pictures that the girls had drawn for him which he happily autographed. Devi drew a picture of herself and Ziggy holding hands, he was complete with dreads and a tam. Then he looked at Treya’s picture, which brought a chuckle as he announced, “An abstract!” Touring to promote his latest musical works, he also laughed when we told him how much we love Family Time. Our few minutes together revealed what a kind and gentle soul this man is, and how much he believes in love, peace, unity and family. It was a great night.

----------------

Interesting conversation has come up in our day to day, also worth a mention. Recently, while driving in the car, water droplets were forming on the windshield. Suddenly Devi shouted from the back seat...

D: “Don’t turn on the windshield wipers!”

Me: “Why not?”

D: “Because a whole universe lives in each water drop.”

Me: “What kind of universe?”

D: “Parameciums! and Amoebas!”

Me: “What is a Paramecium?”

D: “They are these cute oblong thingys with little arms all around that help them swim and Amoebas split in two and in two and in two, mom. Don’t hurt them.”

End Result: To avoid driving off the road, we killed a bunch of universes.

One weekend morning Devi climbed into bed with me and announced...

D: “Mommy, I am a vegetarian.”

Me: “How do you know?”

D: “Because I love carrots and carrots are good for your eyes mom.”

Me: “Yes, but just loving carrots does not make you a vegetarian.”

D: “Well, Treya is a meat eater, and I am not a meat eater. But carrots make my eyes see really good. Even with my eyes closed, I can see Treya misbehaving while we are sleeping.”

Lastly, one Treya conversation from our sweet toothed kiddo.

T: “Tuotie peas.”

Me: Treya, you have all ready had a cookie.

T: “nah-ah”

Me: Yes, we each had one cookie. Where did you put yours?

T: Treya pulls up her shirt and pats her belly with a smile.

Me: See? You all ready put your cookie in your tummy. We don’t need anymore cookies.

T: “yah-a-dooooo”

(Her last comment is a phrase “Yes, I do” she uses all the time. We should really record her saying it because it is quite cute. I love the way she sustains the "oooo" at the end and forms her lips into a perfect circle.

PHALANGIES!

2011-10-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

We are almost to the point of losing count of the number of times we have made the hour long trek, parked the car in the whale parking lot, had our shirts tagged with badges, and watched our pager come alive giving an alert that a doctor is ready to see us. With those Children’s Hospital visits has come a familiarity and sense of belonging for not only Pat and myself, but also with Treya. It is a kid-friendly , colorful under the sea themed place, and even though some of the procedures may not be pleasant, we always leave feeling good about the experience.

So although a surgery is never blasé, the comfort level we have come to know with Treya’s surgeon, Dr. Friedrich - trusting his expertise to the fullest - had us all quite calm on September 6th, the day of her second syndactyly release. Like clockwork, we arrived by 6:45am and were led to a room to help prep Trey for the surgery that, if successful, would be the birth of her 9th and 10th fingers. Warm body wipes and a flannel green gown were supplied as Pat and I diligently washed our baby girl down and dressed her, so reminiscent of a similar day in March, when her pinkie finger was released. This was hardly routine for us, but the staff has a way of making everyone feel calm as they amble through your room checking and double checking that Treya’s identification bracelet, securely attached to her ankle, matched the name on her chart, asking if we had any questions, and if they could bring anything to make us feel more comfortable like warm blankets, books, stickers. STICKERS? Did someone say stickers?

In a matter of minutes Treya had adorned her gown with a handful of big 3 by 3 inch stickers, each with a Dora, unicorn, dread I say Sponge Bob and various other characters on them. Honestly, the girl’s outfit was stiff with decoration, but she was kept happy which was our main goal. Soon, the anesthesiologist arrived and observed as I administered the purple silly juice through the plunger and into her bird shaped mouth. Treya can giggle like no other, a guttural laughter that barely allows for breath intake and it is contagious to all who are within earshot. So when Twinkle Twinkle became the most funny song she had ever heard, we knew that the loony liquid had taken hold. In my arms, her limp body became dead weight as I lifted her into the arms of a waiting nurse struggling to control her own giggling, who then carried her away. Treya’s deep soulful eyes tracked mine as far as she could, until the two of them rounded the corner at the end of the hall; my anxiety about her departure was eased knowing that she wouldn’t remember this - though I would.

It is hard not to be a clock watcher at times like these, try as Pat and I might to busy ourselves on the ipad. And concern turned to worry as the surgery drug on more than an hour longer than what was anticipated. To say that we sprinted to the check-in station when our pager sounded, was an understatement. Reading Dr. Friedrich’s body language, our minds were quickly put at ease, as he joined us for a consultation; entering the room with a smile. Treya came through with flying colors - a character he said - and once again he managed to preserve far more finger than what was expected. The tiny bones that form one's fingertip on her two middle fingers had grown together, causing the time delay, as he had to saw them apart and file the edges smooth. Normally, he would have just removed this tiny bone bit, but he felt by the looks of Treya’s bones and good circulation, there may be some growth potential there. Even a millimeter of extra length for her would be worth the added effort.

Sporting a purple cast, the predetermined color of her and Devi’s choice, our groggy jelly bean was placed into the loving arms of her mommy. We were told that she was quite agitated as she started to stir in the recovery room and would not allow the nurse to remove the heart monitor “stickers” on her chest. “Mine, mine!” They let her be :) I was so looking forward to some sweet cuddle time with my girl because without sedation she rarely sits still, but that was not to be shared this time, as Treya was quite mad about the IV line still in her hand and various other annoyances a surgical procedure can bring. With a furrowed brow she repeatedly tried without success to convey her many complaints through anesthesia slurred speech that on any regular day is hard to understand. That is when she resorted to sign language with a casted arm, now a dead weighted club, that had been injected with a pain blocker rendering it useless. Poor baby was frustrated beyond belief, but once she learned we could go home as soon as she could drink her juice, she downed it. We dressed her as best we could, talked her into removing the heart monitor stickers and we headed home.

This shows Treya's purple cast and YES!, we are in the middle of potty training. She is doing great and is so proud to be wearing real princess panties.

Twenty two days later, as I said night night to Trey the evening before having the cast removed, we talked about her appointment the next day. I told her, “Tomorrow you get your cast taken off”. She replied, “Me? tass off?” “Yes” I assured her. “YAY!” she cheered. We had this exchange a number of times before she finally believed me enough to close her eyes and drift off to sleep excited about the next days coming events.

With Pat out of town, I chose to bring both girls to the appointment. Devi had been wanting to see where we take Treya and I figured knowing what to expect, having done this once before, it would be a good time to bring her. My friend DiAnna had nothing to do so offered to come with us to sit with me and the girls. I welcomed the company, so all 4 of us made the trek, not knowing how the Lord takes care of us sometimes with His provisions.

Treya immediately associated the casting room with the noisy cast saw they used on her leg casts and began feeling a bit anxious, but was easily calmed when she realized she did not need the saw this time. With Treya sitting on my lap, the technician scissored the splint off in minutes and all was going well until they took her arm out of the cast and Treya saw her fingers for the first time. She took a long look in amazement and then she just lost it. I had forgotten the sound of THAT cry; the one that I last heard when we left the orphanage in India. There is no whimper or warning. It is volcanic in it’s eruption. The sound of pure terror, it is loud, guttural and almost animal like. Once it escalates to this level there is no consoling her. Tears literally squirt from her tear ducts, drool runs endlessly from her mouth, perspiration drenches her clothing and verbal communication is futile. I was so thankful for DiAnna right then. She was great with Dev who was trying to give Treya kisses and rub her back, all wonderful acts of love that were so rejected by Treya in the moment. DiAnna was also instrumental in helping to deal with Treya, retrieving Kleenex and simply helping me to keep my head while holding a hysterical child.

Treya sobbed for nearly an hour with no reprieve. Naturally the staff at Children’s were aces in helping in every way they could, showing patience beyond measure, allowing Treya the time she needed to calm down before attempting to examine her hand. They tried stickers, cookies and juice and of course Devi, DiAnna and I were giving all the TLC we could muster. Meanwhile the open air room of other casted patients had to endure our explosive scene. At a glance I witnessed one terrified boy sitting in his mom’s lap, staring at us in horror with both his hands over his ears. It was complete and utter mayhem. We finally covered Treya’s new fingers with a towel, and once obscured from view, she began the calming process; gasps of air, followed by hysteria flair ups, followed by gasps of air, until the ability to verbally communicate with her was regained.

Once somewhat contained, Dr. Friedrich took a quick look, proclaiming the new digits healthy and healing. Like any fresh surgery site, however, Treya’s hand is a bit gnarly looking, especially to her. Her arm is shedding flaky dry skin, her hand is covered in permanent black ink markings and measurements indicating the precision required to perform this level of repair, and her new fingers have scabs, stitches and some darkened freshly grafted skin. While I am thrilled and ecstatic about the result, I have to remember that a two year old does not possess the ability to realize that it will not look like this forever. As a parting note, the doc mentioned that with second surgeries, it is not unusual for children to become more emotional, albeit not quite as irrational as Treya’s display, a fact that would of better served us if revealed far earlier in our day!

Before any correction

After the pinkie release surgery had healed.

After this surgery. Stitches are still dissolving and grafted skin is still healing.

Peggy, the occupational therapist, moved us into the her magical room of tricks and masterly constructed Treya’s plastic and Velcro hand brace. Treya continued to protest with small tearful fits of objection, but by this time, she was wearing down so was more easily distracted with puzzles, her toy of choice. The paddle-like brace is meant to protect the hand as it continues to heal and to hold the two new fingers apart, as they tend to want to easily reattach at the base of the hand. Six more weeks and she is a free girl to express herself as she pleases with....wait for it.....10 individual FINGERS! Not all of them are full size or have nail beds, but her reach has increased significantly, which in turn will allow her an almost normal grasp.

Once home and in our jammies, Treya was finally calmed enough for me to talk with her about how pretty her new fingers are, how brave she had been and together we looked at those beautiful new fingers to see that they are not scary at all. Her arm is sore from being in that casted position for so long, but she is thrilled that she can move her elbow again. After such an over stimulating day, I gave her a bit of Tylenol to continue to calm her and help bring restful sleep. Wearing Devi’s hand-me-down Tinkerbell jammies for the first time helped a bit too.

Treya's hand brace for the next six weeks.

Exhausted myself, sleep just wouldn’t come. I couldn’t help rethinking our decisions for Treya’s hand. She has been through so much and yet we keep pressing for more from her. From every examined angle, however, I stand unwavering in our choices regarding her progress. Becoming a mother was not just fulfilling my dream of having children to hold and love, it also was openly taking on the responsibility to act of their behalf when they are not able, by providing the best opportunities for them to reach their full potential in life. Sometimes that means the decisions are tough or even unpleasant, but that is where faith and the support of others becomes crucial. By morning, Treya was unfazed and back to her good old rough and tumble self, once again demonstrating the tenacity of this precious child; capable of enduring far more than her young years suggest. She is going to be unstoppable.

Shifting Gears!

2011-09-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, today is the first day of autumn. I’ve always thought these official changing of season days odd, as Mother Nature rarely tends to comply. Take today for instance. The temperatures are predicted to reach eighty degrees, hardly what one would expect when entering the fall season, nor have I seen even one amber or crimson fallen leaf. I can not, however, deny the fact that school is now back in session, and although I don’t have school age children yet, the coming of the first day of school, brings my annual nesting tendency to prepare for cooler weather. So lately, I’ve been rearranging closets, carefully stowing sleeveless items for long sleeves, have tried coats and mittens on the kids and for all intensive purposes have secured their winter wardrobe. We have gone into storm watch mode, anticipating the rains of La Niña to hit any day. Honestly!

Last night the girls and I made the trek to BabiesRUs to finalize our last purchase - a purchase that requires their presence in the store. Close Toed Shoes! I felt it was a tad early to buy considering the rate at which my princesses’ feet grow, but with a “buy 1 pair, get a second pair for a penny” it was worth the risk. With one child contained in a shopping cart and the other a roaming shopper, we took the store shoe department by storm. Immediately, we had a discussion about the words “practical” and “sensible” which left us at a disagreement over whether shoes with pink glitter on the toes fell into either of those categories. Needless to say, it was two against one, but because I am older, wiser, and possess the Mastercard, my opinion won out. We settled on basic black mary janes. Devi fit into a size 10, no surprises there, but Treya, who typically would wear a 7, couldn’t manage to fit her foot into that size. In fact, it was so snug, it was just like the step sisters in Cinderella trying to force that glass slipper on the boats they had for feet. Up in size we went. I slipped the loftier pair on her, pushed down on the toe with my thumb and felt resistance. A good fit.

Once home with the girls soundly sleeping in their beds, I showed off my frugal purchases to Pat. It was then that I noticed something amiss in Treya’s new shoes. Paper? On closer inspection I found wadded up paper in the toes of both of her new shoes. Shoes that suddenly looked alarming large for girl of her age. Well, for heavens sake! Just when I think I am ahead of the game, back we trudge to the store tonight for another fitting and most likely an exchange.

Exasperated, I’ve also noticed that I have failed to record the events of the last months of summer. The weather did not cooperate in the beginning, but when it did arrive, we were busy busy trying to squeeze in every last opportunity to soak up that worshiped sunshine. So without further adeiu, the tail end of our summer, experienced in photos.

Aunt Joan & Uncle Bill bring grass skirts from their Hawaii trip to the girls.

The girls make Rahki bracelets for each other

We discover the water parks in our neighborhood.

We plant a garden again this year and enjoy a few fruits of our labor.

The family picked blackberries together

Trey had her face painted for the first time & chose a baybeebub (ladybug) design all by herself.

Making the most of one of our hot days, we lounged, taught the kids how to wash the car and had our own water balloon fight.

We had our annual "picnic in the back of the van" at Frisco Freeze, our neighborhood grease pit. Boy their burgers are tasty.

We also discovered a new place. Gilbert's frozen yogurt for dessert. Devi's concoction covered in gummy worms, and Treya's in chocolate. Mommy loves this spot because we can also get no sugar added flavors as well as fat free.

Trey had her first s'more and proclaimed it deliptus.

We gave camping a trial run...in the backyard. This night lasted until about 9:30pm before everyone was back in the house. On the second attempt a week or two later, Devi and Daddy slept under the stars all night. Treya was so exhausted from the day's events that she and mom stuck to our own beds inside. It was reported that sleeping outside is LOUD, between an occasional passing car, dog barking, airplane and wind, not much sleeping actually occurred and the air mattress had a hole. Poor daddy.

While daddy was away on business, Mom took the girls out for a ladies night...to pick out new leotards and ballet shoes, - all new for Treya - then have dinner out together. They both had a slice of lemon in their water, which left them feeling as though they were truly grown ups.

Just a bit excited for their actual first dance class of the season. Treya's first time and Devi returning as a seasoned veteran.

A rare cartoon morning in mommy and daddy's bed!

Treya's first trip to the Puyallup Fair

The petting zoo. The little goat kept trying to eat the beads in my hair.

Attending the Puyallup Fair has been a family tradition since I was about Devi's age. It was such a big affair that free tickets were given out as well as closing school a half day so everyone had an opportunity to attend. Devi has entered the "gold gate" enough times to know the drill and was thrilled with the anticipation of fair fun again this year. Treya, does not know what is going on most of the time, but that does not seem to effect her enthusiasm. She was wildly cheering right along with Devi as we got closer and closer to the venue, spying the tracks of the roller coaster through the surrounding trees.

With Treya comfortably strapped into a little umbrella stroller enjoying the ride we headed for the animal barns, arriving first at the pig palace. Recently at daycare, Treya had mastered the "Old MacDonald's Farm" song, so I was thrilled for her to LIVE the lyrics. Our eyes began to adjust from the change in light as we passed through the giant double doors of the barn, and strolled closer and closer to the first in a long line of pens. The first one was home to huge black and white sow, lounging on her side amongst a cool bed of fresh straw. As Marigold the pig came into view, Treya let out a blood curdling scream that left everyone in ear shot cringing. Up she stood, still strapped into the flimsy umbrella stroller and with no regard for anyone around, attempted to retreat! Turning on a dime, she struggled to baby step it the heck out of there dragging the stroller along with! I was shocked! Even today if you ask her if she likes pigs she will get very serious and shake her head with every bit of seriousness this silly girl possess and say "NO!" She freaked slightly at the sight of every barn, but managed to look at bunnies and stood beside me in the petting zoo, spending her time maneuvering herself as far from any animal as possible. Well, I guess farm animals are just not her thing.

The carousel, a huge hit with both girls, served as our saving grace after the pig fiasco, and the parents got to ride for free! Krusty pups or corn dogs were the girls dinner of choice as we made our way to view the biggest squash. We all guess it's weight and see who comes the closest without going over. Pat and I were neck and neck with my 895 pound guess and his 935 pounds. DeeDee guessed 15 pounds and Treya twee (3). Usually these hybrids come in well over 1000 pounds, but the unusual weather we had was just not conducive to gourd production I guess. Oh! and the winner was me...as the squash was 927.

By this time, Devi was begging to try cotton candy. Nasty, I know, but we all have to try it once, right? Her behavior was so good, I found her hard to deny. Both girls were quite cute to watch as they experienced the fluffy pink cotton simply disappearing when placed in their mouths. Devi said, "It is magic!" That right there is reason enough to continue to experience the Puyallup Fair.

Rain had begun to fall, so we girls stood under the eaves of a nearby booth cheering on drenched daddy who was standing a dozen or so customers back in the slow moving ever popular scone line. He really took one for the team, but who can resist warm, butter and raspberry filled fresh scones? Not I. A debate always seems to ensue as we determine just how many of these golden pillows for baked goodness to buy. One for now, one for later, one for breakfast...times how many people we have...YUM!

The night ended with our favorite ride - the skyride, which is one of those rides with gondolas that take you over the fair from one corner to the opposing one. It is the best view of the whole event, bright with lights and thousands of people. Devi was quite cute excitedly pointing out all the places she recognized from earlier in the day.

Mom and Dad give in to one excited little girl over cotton candy = $4.00!

mine, Mine, MINE!

2011-09-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

The Ross Family with Commissioner Foley

Mine mine mine. Yes these are the words that our two year old spouts regularly, but today, they are also the words that I am singing with high praises. After a charted course, six years long, I can rejoice in those words, that both of my babies are now legally mine forever. It seems such a formality to enter the courtroom and proclaim what we have known in our hearts to be true for such a very long time - since the moment we first laid eyes on those tiny photographs.

Days before Treya’s court date Devi, Treya and I were discussing the significance of court day. When I told them that the judge would legally change Trey’s name from just Sonalika to Treya Marie Sonalika Ross, Devi asked “does this mean we are not really a family yet?” Let me just say that I am baffled by Devi’s level of awareness sometimes, but I quickly asked her, “What is your heart telling you? Are we a family yet?” The glow of her pearly white teeth, took over her brown skinned face as she broke out with the biggest of smiles stating with supreme confidence, “Yes mommy, we are all ready a family.” To which Treya responded “ME! ME!” a statement that could only conclude that she adamantly agrees too.

Commissioner Foley resided as we entered her courtroom with our entourage of honored guests including Treya’s grandparents, some Aunts, Uncles friends and neighbors. With the commissioner’s welcome she commended us with the tremendous show of support for Treya, knowing that this adoption was surely in the best interest of this child, mentioning too, that the glowing reports of Treya’s progress since entering our home, were the most favorable recommendations she has seen in a long time. This was so important for me to hear, because regardless of how much we love our jelly bean, our start was rocky. We have worked so hard to provide a stable, secure place for Treya to overcome her incomprehensible shyness and begin to build trust. Going from biting me, hiding under the furniture, sleeping or simply closing her eyes when strangers are around to engaging others with smiles, making eye contact, waving with confidence and blowing kisses is HUGE. In addition, she has undergone five surgeries - 2 since being home, skin grafting on her tummy twice, multiple casts on both her leg and arm, and has worn corrective shoes connected with a bar, impeding movement at night for nearly 6 months. She is such a survivor at age 2 and a half.

We were all sworn in and then were asked to answer some questions about how it is that we were joined from half way around the world. That fact is simply amazing, isn’t it? A divine plan is truly playing out here, and the outcome - a perfect fit. I find myself daydreaming about this phenomena all the time, pondering all that had to happen for the miracle of these children we are so fortunate to love.

Us with Joyce, our attorney

Celebrating with the grandparents

Specifically, the commissioner asked Devi how she felt about having a new sister to which Devi replied “Great!” followed by intrigue about the adoption ceremony thrown for us in Pune and the support that was bestowed by Treya’s caregivers. Ironically, that is the day that Treya first made eye contact and held her arms up to me, as if knowing her first chapter (her birth to parents unable to care for a baby) and the second chapter of her life (her orphanage life) was closing. Her third and final chapter - joining our family - was about to begin. This is only fitting as her name “Treya” is Hindi for one who walks down three paths.

Dressed in rajastani clothing, I described how the girls were adorned with oil in their hair and powder on their skin. We were seated on stools surrounded by rangoli designs where the entire staff that cared for Treya took part in presenting each girl with a lei of marigolds around their necks. In turn we each were circled in incense and a bindi of life was smeared on our foreheads. Next, our heads were sprinkled with rice to bring prosperity and we swallowed a teaspoon of sugar, that we might always taste life’s sweetness. The eldest of the orphan children kissed Treya’s cheek, saying her good byes and the blessing was complete. From that moment on, Treya would not allow anyone else to hold her and in her emotional state, drifted to sleep in my arms for the first time.

Treya with Great Grandma Verna - 96 years young

Treya wearing a new knitted hat from Gail and in the arms of Uncle David

Once the petition was signed, we took photos and headed back to our house for a celebration. Samosas, hummus and Indian sweets from the Punjab sweets store were served along with a cake I baked for Trey with a “loose” replica of the rangoli adoption day design that was delicately sprinkled outside the door of Shreevatsa the day we took custody of her. Because September 18th is Devi’s forever family day, I managed to complete an adoption video for each girl to watch showing their full story. Treya could still name her maurhsis (aunties) as she stood inches from the screen proclaiming “me! me!” as she watched video of herself at various ages for the first time. Devi has watched her video at least a half dozen times all ready, marveling at how small she once was, and announcing the event as each scene changes, “my first bath with daddy...my first feeding with mommy...my first plane ride from Kolkata to Delhi...”

4th Forever Family Day

Same pose; same clothes for the adults

Waking up on September 18th to cuddles and kisses from my oldest 30 pound bundle, I found myself again saying, “mine, mine, mine!” Can it be that four years have passed since I first laid eyes on my pumpkin pie, standing in a crib sucking that precious thumb? Pure joy is beyond words, but I feel it still in the depths of my soul when I recall that life changing day; peering through the bars of the white crib, chipped from years of use, and spying a tiny child with curly black hair waving in the wisp of swirling air created by the oscillating fan. Her caramel complexion and piercing eyes were calm, but captivating. And, without hesitation, I reached down, and put my hands under her tiny arms for support; lifting and feeling the warm weight of my child for the first time. My life was forever changed in that moment.

Because this was such a monumental weekend of adoption events with a finalization and forever family day to celebrate, we wanted to do something special for the girls. Off to India Bazaar, the local Indian store we went where we purchased a set of gold bracelets for each girl - their first real set of fine bangles. The Sikh man who owns the store was reading the Quran when we approached him, and recognized 3 of us right off from previous visits; acknowledging this time a new family member he had not yet met. We shared Treya’s story and as always, he was overly generous in offering discounts - this time also gifting the girls bottles of mango juice they delightfully accepted through their giggles. He bowed many times to us as we left; giving us his blessings of approval.

Our four year tradition found us once again at Gateway to India for dinner. Warm greetings and the comment, “You have another one!” led us to share Treya’s story with the owner who had not yet met her. We had her snap our same pose-photo, + one this year and were seated to feast. True to form, we all ate heartily, from Mango lassies to Gulab Jamin, with a little Muttar Paneer, Murgh Briyani and Channa Das thrown in for good measure. Pakoras and Garlic Naan go without saying, and, of course Devi’s favorite the spicy Lentil soup! Our once shy Treya screamed in her loudest voice, “Tank Ooo” toward the kitchen every time another dish was placed on our table letting her appreciation for the cooks not go unnoticed.

With a weekend so packed full of reasons to rejoice it seems fitting to close with this quote by Mahatma Ghandi.

Every worthwhile accomplishment,

big or little, has it's stages

of drudgery and triumph: a beginning,

a struggle and a victory!

Skin Deep!

2011-08-29T09:10:00.001-07:00

India Fest 2011 - Portland, Oregon
(Photo by Kirk)

Without realizing it, I’ve always located my children in a crowd by first looking for their beautiful brown skin and secondly by the fluorescent colors they are most likely wearing; just as my husband says my hair is an asset to him - an aid for finding me amongst a sea of Caucasian people. I enjoy having a unique quality, but I am an adult and made this choice for myself. I wonder what my children feel knowing that in most situations they are different than everybody else in the most obvious of ways - the color of their skin? I say most situations, as this weekend brought a whole new set of circumstances, where suddenly I was the minority whose ability to track my own children failed me!

Imagine my surprise when scouring a swimming pool’s surface in search of my two brown beauties only to find my keen eyes darting from child to child in a literal sea of bobbing, smiling and laughing browned skinned kiddos? Thus was only one of the delightful scenes at the India fest we attended in Portland this past week.

Treya's reaction to her first road trip.
I love how she clasps her hands when she gets excited.

Devi meeting baby Tanaya for the first time.

The kitchen helpers - Shaili, Tanaya and Trey

Our first shift of eaters on the first night.

On Thursday, two adoptive families; the Mahar’s from Oregon and Werre’s from Idaho and ours converged on a 5 bedroom/2 bath rental home located pretty much smack dab in the middle of the heart of Portland - the perfect starting point for most of the week’s activities. Our nine children fell right into step scurrying about discovering the house while each family introduced their newest members, all home from India for less than six months. In addition, there were several local adoptive families and one family, the Hartley’s, who flew in from California that joined in the hectic schedule of fun.

Cheryl, a local, put her organizational talents to work, directing us to many of Portland’s parks and recreation areas. On Friday Blue Lake park was a huge hit sending the older kids off for paddle-boat rides while the younger set played on the sandy beach literally shutting the park down at night fall, but only after many pizzas were consumed to fuel their effort. The kids dug a huge hole - a hole to India, no doubt - that leaves me pondering if it is still there as I am still digging souvenir sand out of both girls' ears!

Ajay playing in the sand box at Washington Park.

(Photo by Cheryl)

Daya and Devi riding a cement Indian elephant Devi named Ganesh.

Some of our Indian princesses. Shaili, Daya, Treya, Devi and Adia

A scorcher Saturday afternoon found us at the home of Lisa and Russ and their 8 children for a bbq pool party. Nearly 50 in number, the pool was full and so were our bellies after a feast of shared dishes. I was thrilled to find the older Indian girls in love with the pea salad I brought to share (recipe courtesy of our neighbor Carol) because of the curry it calls for, which I doubled! Most of us had never met face to face, though have had long relationships via Internet and word of mouth. It was so great to place faces to names, and see these “friends” for the first time. The evening was full of so many stories sharing the miraculous journeys of how each of these wonderful families were joined. In spite of some pretty tragic beginnings, all of the children are loved and thriving now.

Devi resting and refueling with Henna and Adia.

(Photo by Cheryl)

Devi cooling off at Blue Lake park

Devi and Daya - good buddies

(photo by Cheryl)

Treya making friends with Alesha

Part of our group. From left; Pat, Devi, me, Treya, Kaylin, Eric, Adia, Cheryl, Brie, Tanaya, Kirk, Asha and Emily

The excitement began to mount on Sunday morning as we all prepared ourselves for the festival. One by one the children emerged in their traditional Indian attire, so proud of their fancy appearance. Before me knew it, the living room was alive with the sound of jingling bangles, the glint of bindis and the weave of gold threads.

Putting on bangles and bindis - the final touches

(Photo by Kirk)

Asha home just a few months

(Photo by Kirk)

The girls in all their finery. From left, Metali, Devi, Daya, Shaili, Treya, Asha, Eli and Tanaya

Upon our arrival the festival was an explosion of color and music with the spicy aroma of Indian food telling our bellies it was time for lunch. I hoarded a fresh dosa with potato pea filling; not sharing a single bite. By mid afternoon in the 90 degree heat, our girls had drained their mango lassi drinks, and we were off to get mehndi tattoos on our hands. Treya’s face lit up when the artist drawing on her hand spoke to her in Marathi - a language she obviously still understands. I believe this was the highlight of Treya’s first India fest and the name tag with her names written in Hindi, which she absolutely refused to take off.

Devi and Ajay watching the dancing.

(Photo by Kirk)

Intent on watching the henna cone move over my skin, the girls and I were startled when the henna artist broke the concentration by commending me for my choice to adopt my girls. I thanked her and made a mental note that to that point, I was unaware that I, a fair skinned women, was noticeably not of Indian origin at this predominately Indian attended event. It is funny that unless I am looking in the mirror or it is pointed out, I never FEEL that I look any different than my girls. We are simply a family and I am their mother.

Nearly at the end of their rope, the girls get the giggles. Treya with her Hindi name tag, Devi and Alesha

Although India festival is held to celebrate India’s independence day, for us, stretching the festivities over a long weekend, allows our children to remain connected, as many of them lived together before joining their forever families; some were even crib mates. I looked forward to watching all of the kids play together, but also to sharing parenting trials and tribulations with other families built like ours. The result brought fast friendships - the kind that will last a lifetime. Our whole family is all ready looking forward to a repeat performance next year.

Mystic Rhythms

2011-08-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

We sometimes catch a window, A glimpse of what's beyond.

Was it just imagination stringing us along?

More things than are dreamed about; unseen and unexplained.

We suspend our disbelief and we are entertained...mystic rhythms

-Rush-

Sister Sue and DeeDee enjoying the summer

At times it seems we tend to become so focused on just putting one foot in front of the other that we fail to notice small, but significant changes; or perhaps it is more a case of failing to see the big picture because we are living with the mantra of taking one day at a time. Either way, when I paused for a breath the other day, I noticed that our family is doing well. Heaving a sigh of relief I began to survey our current situation and I am pleased with the progress. We are all healthy, we are all good eaters and now sleepers, we have a roof over our heads with both parents gainfully employed and our children are loved and thriving. Yay! we are doing it. We are living life and enjoying summer.

Celebrating Treya's half birthday - her first candles ever!

Before putting my nose back down to the grindstone, there are a few pleasantries to share. First of all, daddy has taken a new job and we are so happy and proud of him. Just as a dog can smell fear, so can a child sense stress outside the home. As soon as daddy began his new job the whole household came down a notch or twelve on the stress-o-meter. With the new job, however, comes training...out of state. Florida was daddy’s home for a week, while I tended to the girls. Unfortunately, this same week was Treya’s daycare providers vacation too. Arranging all day care for a toddler is never easy, but thankfully Oma and Di Anna stepped up to the plate. With a little finagling, I managed to get Devi to preschool, Treya settled at home with one of the sitters without Devi knowing she was staying home, myself out the door to work 45 minutes away, working a slightly different set of hours and arranging for coverage of my early morning shift - all in a reasonable amount of time. Suffice to say I have a newly formed and solid appreciation for working single mothers!

Both girls were angels the whole time. There was no bickering or disagreements, no back talk or strong willed issues and although we all missed daddy immensely, we managed to squeeze in some pretty fun times at the splash park, a couple of nice picnics and even a girls spa night of bubbles in the jacuzzi tub - all three of us suddsing at the same time.

Hard to believe we experienced a day of 80 degree weather
and headed for the splash park.

Enjoyed Ethnic Fest with jumpy houses, yummy Indian food,
great music. Devi was determined to learn how to hoola hoop, but
never quite mastered it. DETERMINATION!

Wright Park, the sight of Ethnic Fest has a new
playground that Treya explored.

Just as I was beginning to plan for daddy’s second week away, we received a phone call that an opening had popped up at Devi’s preschool for Treya’s age group. Up to this point, Treya had been in a private home setting, which was perfect for her in the beginning. She grew so much under this grandma-type woman’s care and over came her severe shyness, began trying new foods and started to potty train. We loved the arrangement but, Treya seemed increasingly ready for more interaction with other children. So when this rare opening presented itself, (we anticipated having to wait a year on the waiting list) we knew we had to act and having the girls under one roof for daycare/preschool would again, prove to be a family stress reliever.

Treya's first day at Our Innspiration.

Devi saying the Pledge of Allegiance at her
preschool picnic. They also sang Surin' USA and
signed the whole alphabet.

The theme was surfin' USA. This is Devi's PURPLE surfboard.

Treya's second day at her new daycare. This is her artwork for the picnic.

Tomorrow marks a week with both girls attending the same daycare/preschool. All ready it has taken over a half hour off of my commute each day and although Treya had tears the first day, now everyone is settling in and loving it. Treya immediately fell back into her orphanage role as “helper” clearing dishes and sweeping the floor with the teachers in her room. One’s first instinct is to think this is cute, but I’ve let them know a bit about her tendency to be alone and have encouraged interactive play with the other children. Devi feels so protective of her sister and has taken on a nice solid role as big sister, which makes her feel so important. We hear during joint play time, they always seek each other out for hugs. On the drive home yesterday, I asked the girls about the best part of their days. Devi reported that she had a vegetable tray for lunch and ate a tomato that her class grew. Treya’s response to the same questions was SLIDE! On another day, Devi was thrilled that they got to play outside without coats on and Treya was beside herself with joy over mastering the making of a diamond shape with her index fingers and thumbs. While this may seem like a no brainer for some, for Treya’s little hands, missing parts of her digits, this was a MAJOR accomplishment. Now her “Twinkle Twinkle” song is complete!

Listening to music at Proctor Art Fest.
Devi is explaining that the band
is playing a Stevie Wonder song...one of
mom's favorites.

Two styles of dancing...Devi goes mostly up and down Treya sort of sways and bobs her head.

More dancing with a friend.

Behind the scenes, we’ve had another post placement visit in preparation for finalizing Treya’s adoption, one of the final steps in making our family legal and binding forever on paper. The social worker was amazed by the changes in Treya, even forgetting her various physical challenges. Referring to her notes she said, “oh yes, her hands! I completely forgot she has issues, because she uses them so well!” She also scribbled a few notes about our loud child, who has gone from being nearly silent to one never at a loss for words. The nice part is that those words are slowly beginning to be recognized as part of the English language.

Popcicles with our neighbor Joaquin at our annual cul-de-sac block party.
The firetruck came and let the kids sit inside.
We had water balloons, good company and tons of food.

My hambones on a morning stroll on the pier.

Proof that she has learned to run!

It took 3 years, but Devi finally grew enough to
learn how to ride a big wheel. Treya took to the trike
pretty naturally and LOVES to wear a helmet. She just as soon never
take it off.

We are at the peak of our busy summer social calendar about now, but soon things with begin to slow. With fall comes the beginning of a new school year and Devi will say goodbye to ALL the little girls in her preschool class as they enter kindergarten. Devi has one more year in preschool and our hope is that the girls moving up to her room will all become fast friends. Treya has been scheduled for hand surgery; her last one we hope. She will be having her two middle fingers separated on September 6th. She also will begin PT on her feet and have her corrective shoes adjusted. We also hope to find out how long she will need to wear them.

When I compare and contrast our home life right now with what we were experiencing just a few short months ago, I am taken aback by the progress. Those were some dark days; we managed, but it was nothing like the normalcy we are living now. Life is fun - great even and our family brings us joy and a smile each and every day.

Devi teaching Papa how to ride a trike.

Papa and Gail with their grand daughters.

Introspective Thoughts Come In The Middle Of A Busy Summer

2011-07-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

Zoobilee 2011 - Pat and I went out to the adult event,

but the girls wanted to dress up in their special Indian clothes too.

Summer, for lack of a better word, given the state of the weather, is in full swing. This is the time of the year when every weekend square on my desk calendar has at least three items penciled in and to spy even one empty square of pure white during the week is rare. I love this time of year; filled to capacity with activity which finds all four of us falling into bed each night exhausted, full and usually with dirty feet. Well, all but Treya who still prizes her very own pair of shoes.

In the midst of flitting here and there, Devi still finds ample time to contemplate the darnedest things. While driving to a recent family reunion she asked, “Mommy, are you going to heaven soon?” “No, I will be around for a long long time. I will probably still be here long after you get married and have your own babies”. Pausing, she asked, “Daddy are you going to heaven soon?” Daddy chuckled a “no” back. Without missing a beat she said, “Well, are you sure daddy? You’re getting pretty old!”

While on our way to some other function, we passed a stone church that must have looked like a castle to Devi. She asked about the church a bit and as soon as she heard that our good friends Di Anna and Tim were married there, her decision was firm. That church is where she plans to get married. I asked if she had a groom in mind, to which she quickly responded, “I am marrying Rowan.” I asked, “Has he asked you to be his bride?” With a furrowed brow she responded, “No, not yet, but he will and it is going to be a love marriage, momma, not the other kind”. When I asked, “How do you know it is going to be a love marriage?” She quickly retorted, “Because I love him!” Well, of course, how dim could I be? ;)

Devi has also started to become very aware of her own story. While I was braiding her hair one night, she told me that she thought she should not live here, but should move to India. When I asked why she said that she wanted to keep all the babies company that she lived with at ISRC. I had to explain that none of them live in India anymore. She thought about that awhile and said that she thought the ayahs might miss her, because she thinks she misses them. I assured her that I was certain that they probably do miss her because they loved her very much, but they understood that their job was only to take care of her until daddy and I could come for her. Then she asked why her birth mother did not stay there with her until we came for her. I don’t know how she knew that Jhuma did not live there, but I explained that it was a home for babies, not birth mothers which seemed to satisfy that thought.

She is also obsessed at times with the whole idea of India’s impoverished. We’ve had lots of conversation about how she would like to give the money in her piggy bank to kids in India. She often asks if she lived in India would she be tapping on the windows of idling cars at stop lights asking for money like the kids she saw when we were there. The driving thought behind this isn’t her concern for food, but rather a home. She would like to buy all the children a home.

A family day at the zoo. Feeding the budgies!

Treya’s verbal skills are improving all the time, but we still find ourselves asking her multiple times what she is talking about. She uses the same utterance to mean many things and it is only through inflection that we figure out what she is saying. Take “bip” for instance...for her it means lip, zip - as in zip my coat please, the tip of something like a rough fingernail or a tiny bite. When ordering her own meal while dining out, something that we make our children do, she usually orders titen bips.. You guessed it...chicken strips! Our job is to figure out what she needs or wants from the one or two words, before she gets frustrated and starts yelling BIP at us. Again, how dim could I be? ;)

While on the subject of food, let me just say that someday I would love to visit Hidden Valley Ranch. I need to find out what it is that is put into that dressing that makes kids love it so much. Devi recently chose carrots dipped in ranch over Oreo cookies. Yes, you heard me right. Treya would love nothing more than to dip her fingers as a method of consuming the irresistible and creamy condiment, or better yet, dip the Oreos! In any case she will continue to bip, bip, bip, which when said three times in quick succession means, none other than dip, dip, dip!

Fourth of July was spent with friends at the Freedom Fair.
Here the girls watch the airshow overhead and wave their
flag when a plane flies past.

Fun at the Jazz Festival

Today is Treya’s 2 and a HALF year birthday. That means she has been home 6 months, which is very hard to comprehend. We had a small celebration with a half sized cake - her first time to blow out candles. I must admit that I feel incredibly guilty for not throwing her a welcome home party of some sort, but realize given the severity of her shyness in the beginning, it would have been more for me than her. We've begun the finalization process, so most likely will celebrate her home coming with the legalization of the adoption, which seems rather fitting.

Face painting at the Jazz Festival

A break in the rain prompted this impromptu and first picnic dinner of the summer

Finally, the result of wearing Treya's corrective shoes has added two new accomplishments. She has learned to run and now understands the concept and attempts to JUMP, although she is not quite able to get both feet off the ground at the same time yet. She also has started swimming lessons, and just like Devi has taken to water like a guppy. A natural, her rotund little belly has bolstered her confidence at floating on both her stomach and back, while poor Dev must still keep all her long and lean body parts moving or she will begin to sink.

Preparing for crazy hair day at Devi's preschool

Let’s Count the Pink People!

2011-06-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

First Friends - Reunited!

Whoots of excitement rang through the house, the night I read in email that the Welser’s were coming for a visit. It turns out that Roger had a conference in Seattle during the summer months. Need I say more? This is the opportunity that we had been hoping would happen for the last four years - a chance to catch up, admire our growing families and give our girls, once cribmates, the chance to get reacquainted. Secretly, I think both Karen and I had always hoped that they would become friends, harboring the romantic idea that like cousins, their visits might not be often, but their relationship would become genuine and lasting.

“Wanna play dress-up?”

“I love dress-up!”

“Me too!” ...had the girls off and running toward the appropriate closet giggling and laughing from the start. While entertaining themselves, they discovered that they both have definite opinions about things, with Devi struggling from time to time with use of kind words and the understanding of what it means to have guests, making sharing with yet another girl (other than her sister) seem utterly "unfair" - a term we hear a lot.

Both girls are bright, articulate and competitive, and so throughout the week they managed to learn ways to resolve most of their conflict with little parental intervention, albeit not necessarily fair or sound, it worked for them. When they weren’t a Disney princess (Ariel, Rapunzel or Jasmine come to mind) they often addressed each other as “sister”, or could be caught whispering and sharing secrets. Side by side at our dinner table of nine, Jenya whispered, "Lets count the pink people", which sounded like a good idea to Devi and together they silently acknowledged each pink person's head with a slightly concealed pointed index finger as their lips moved indicating the sum. This brought candid adult laughter, but also was one of the first signs that our girls seem to be aware of their connection, and gladly it appears to go a bit deeper than their obvious physical similarities.

This is not to say that there were not countless challenges considering whose hair was longer, who was taller, and who could dance or sing the best, but both girls understand that they knew each other, cuddling in the same crib, before even meeting their mommy’s, daddy’s and brothers. This thought baffles me as I would think it would be such a hard concept to grasp, but these two beauties seem to possess a healthy amount of self esteem and the facts about how they came to be a Ross or a Welser were discussed openly between them throughout the visit. One conversation had the girls comparing notes, discovering that both families even had to ride an elephant to get to where they lived.

Acting like monkeys!

Another of these candid and precious moments came at the Woodland Park zoo, while the two girls admired a tree kangaroo. The dosset at the exhibit, a grandma to many children herself, engaged the girls asking the obvious, “Are you two twins?” The conversation that proceeded was priceless as the girls eagerly chatted with her. Devi and Jenya, blurted out the facts in tag team fashion describing themselves as Indian princesses, who were 4 and a HALF. They were not born here, but on the other side of the world in India. Fact after fact was spilled and the dosset drank it all in. The exchange was so very cute.

Slumbering together was an impossible task but the girls did manage to have a “Slumber party” of sorts reading books and playing with stuffed animals, all the while jabbering and whispering away on sleeping bags in the playroom. We let them stay up longer than normal, hoping some kind of resting was going on upstairs, before declaring the party over and escorting each of them, yawning and exhausted to their own beds for actual slumber time.

Other highlights were chocolate fondue dessert, dancing together at the farmer’s market, decorating crowns, blowing bubbles and making their own pizzas. The better part of one afternoon was spent shredding grass seed off the weeds in the vacant lot adjacent to our house and carefully laying them in a rectangular Tupperware dish. The collective effort produced the most comfortable fairy nest I’ve ever laid eyes on :).

As for the rest of us, we fell right in step as if we have lived next door to each other for years. Something about our families just clicks. This feeling was all too familiar and reminiscent of our first India trip together. It still strikes me as strange that after casual chatting via email while waiting the 18 months for the referral of our children, we became friends on opposite coasts, not meeting face to face until we were half way around the world at the US Embassy. Once there, we discovered a connection that lead to comfortably booking our hotel rooms with an adjoining door. This same level of comfort was present this trip as we loosely made arrangements for outings and meals with little or no planning with emphasis on just hanging out and catching up. These kinds of friendships come few and far between, and we feel so incredibly blessed to know the Welser family.

Treya took a shine to the Welser men. I say men, because in four years Andrew and Evan have matured into the nicest young and budding teenagers. They've always been polite and respectful, but now you can see the beginnings of the men they will become and it was a delight to converse, tease and laugh with them. Who knew that simply offering chocolate fondue dessert would raise my rank on Andrew's "friend meter" ten points! I suppose it is no surprise then why Treya was so smitten by all three of them, offering hugs of condolences to the loser of a game of pool and finding a very comfortable spot on Mr. Roger’s hip or shoulders for most of their stay, announcing “Up, peas!” as often as she could. Watching her continue to blossom in the presence of friends was so fun as she was coaxed into saying new words making them laugh over some of her mispronunciations and goofy ways.

Crown making! Notice the similarities!

Sporting Ms. Karen's famous upside down braids while making pizzas

The boys, Pat and Roger included, took in a Sounders game, thanks to the generosity of a soccer-connected friend of the Welser’s. They also spent an afternoon at the Museum of Flight that had all them chattering away about their favorite planes when they returned. Because our house is very girl oriented, I was concerned that boys would not find anything to do, but they did a great job of entertaining themselves and settling right in, making themselves at home and even helping to keep a watchful eye out for the girls too.

By the end of the visit, Karen and I were both doing double takes, for at a distance it was hard to tell our two 4 year olds apart, who had begun to dress and wear their hair alike. Upside down braids, the talent of Ms. Karen was a huge hit. Their voices and choice of words were even similar. I suppose it should come as no surprise that as their car drove away on our last morning together, there were some tears. Trailing off, amidst the enthusiastic waving, we heard the faint sound of Jenya yelling, “Remember...we are sisters!” and Devi yelling back, “I'm going to miss you, Jenya! I love you, Jenya!”

She was right. We miss you guys all ready and can't wait for another visit!!!!

Our Indian Princesses!

Let Me Entertain You!

2011-06-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

With a little more grace, a pinch more poise, and a second full year of dance instruction under her belt, news of Devi’s “Little Dancers” recital filled our dinner time conversation as the June 18th performance date arrived. For weeks, I’ve been catching her quietly humming a tune, or unconsciously moving her arms and legs in what appeared to be choreographed movements. On the final rehearsal day, she proudly displayed two stamps on her wrists declaring herself prepared and ready.

Amazing what a year of maturity can add to a performance. The gaggle of girls and one boy, Rowan, (the one Devi claims she will marry one day) knew where to stand and what to do. They were great, dancing AND singing the music for all 4 numbers, with their faces intently watching Teacher Cat instructing from the back of the room.

A welcoming jazz tune was performed first in swirly silver glitter skirts, giving the audience a glimpse of just how accomplished our Little Dancer's have become, followed by a costume change and cute ballet number, complete with pink tulle tutus. It told the story of how they all dream to become dancers one day, and that anything is possible. "It's Terrific" was the tap dance that came next raising the volume level in the room 8 octaves with all that tapping. Indeed, it was terrific, but also gave insight as to why Devi has been trying so desperately to learn how to snap her fingers - a dance move - who knew? The grand finale was another jazz number danced to a Justin Bieber song. A little inappropriate for their age in my opinion, but the lyrics were tame and all was totally lost to the innocence and cuteness of them singing into plastic blow up microphones. They all felt so cool singing and dancing to a real rock-n-roll song.

Last year, Devi was a ham bone, but this year was all about precision and timing, which as we all know sometimes leads to missing a step or loosing the timing to the up beat, but no doubt supreme effort was shown. Adding to her frustration were the ever present costume malfunctions, with a waist still too slim to hold up a skirt or arms too skinny to keep an armband in place. At one point, her blow up microphone prop somehow managed to end up in the wrong hand, which had her turned around backwards. It was so hard to resist yelling out to her, but she quickly recovered on her own remaining unfazed by her mistake. During the more “free form” portions of a dance, her concentration eased a bit and you could see that huge white teethed grin appear and hear her yelling “weeeee” while jumping, lunging or swinging her arms. Her love of flitting about, otherwise known as dancing, is obvious.

Equally more difficult this year was the audience participation for Pat and I, this year not only manning a video camera, and SLR, but also providing supervision to Treya, the proud sister. Never still, it was remarkable to watch Treya become entranced by Devi as she began to dance. Her eyes were totally riveted on Devi, occasionally swaying to the music or swinging an arm in time to the music. At the end of each number, she would clap wildly and yell, “Yay, DeeDee!”

My heart swelled with pride over Devi’s job well done. The last few months have been hard for her, struggling with the changes in our household and trying to find comfort in her new big sister role in our family. To see her, now, standing amongst her peers, with such a bright smile, eager to perform for her family just made my checks ache from smiling. Great job pumpkin pie! We love you!!

Evolution of a Household

2011-06-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

Devi at Kindermusic class playing her part in their orchestra.

The girls chose their own outfits for story time and coffee time.
Can you tell?

While I am no fashionista, I do like to leave the house with my girls looking just so. That is not to say they are wearing designer clothing or outfits that are to be worn once and then discarded. No, I just like the pieces of their clothing to be clean and coordinated, their hair to be combed - preferably with a matching accessory and for their faces and noses to be relatively free of their past meal.

To make this happen, every Sunday since Devi started attending daycare, I have planned out a weeks worth of clothing - including the hair bobble and socks - and laid them in 5 neat piles, one for each day for each girl. I enjoy this task, envisioning my precious girls in each outfit, knowing they are ready and prepared for the weather and activities planned for each day. Daddy appreciates that there is one less decision to be made each morning, as he is navigates the three of them from waking up to out the door on time.

For a while now, Devi has been choosing one outfit from the 5, deciding which one she would like to wear on any given day, satisfied with the variety I have selected. Suddenly, that is no longer acceptable to her, as she wants to wear something that is completely of her own choosing. After several morning tantrums over something as ridiculous as clothing, Pat and I decided it was time for the evolution of the morning routine.

To begin with, I rid her closet of all clothing that was not appropriate for preschool, or the weather we are currently having. This left only the things I would have chosen from anyway. The responsibility of what to wear and when to where it has become hers. There are four house rules.

1. You can not wear pajamas to school unless it is pajama day. (That amendment added by Dev, of course)

2. You can not wear the same thing two days in a row.

3. You can not take something out of the dirty clothes bin to wear.

4. You must wear clean underwear everyday.

I, in turn, have begun to grit my teeth and try to not be bothered by mis-matched tops and bottoms, or uncoordinated socks and tights or even, heaven forbid, open toed shoes on a rainy day. I am trying my best to only say things like, “It looks like you dressed yourself today. Good job, sweetie!”, knowing the battle over clothing is not worth the fight.

This week we put the new and improved routine into action and hope it has satisfied the pumpkin pie’s need for more control in her 4 and a HALF year old world, and rids poor daddy’s morning of the kicking and screaming. (And if I have not mentioned it, Treya also kicks and screams, copying Devi’s every move and utterance as she learns how to appropriately respond to new situations). Wish us all luck!

UPDATE: The first day she chose a dress and tights, but they presented a bit of a snag. Pat found her laying in a ball on the floor with no clothes on. Evidently, Devi had a hard time getting dressed because she was playing butterfly and she was in the chrysalis stage...no legs for tights!

Treya's blue suede shoes! Ponsetti blue shoes that is.

Treya’s routine has gone through an evolution too, as she no longer has a cast, but now wears corrective shoes at night, connected at the heels with a metal bar that snaps into place. We thought confinement of her legs and feet would be a hard transition, but she has taken it all in stride - pardon the pun. Treya is quite proud of her blue suede “special shoes” and shouts “bar, bar” at night to make sure we don’t forget to snap it into place.

Our Houdini continues to work her magic in the night, so wears her pajamas backward - zipping and snapping up the back. As for her shoes, she manages to loosen the straps, but has not mastered the buckles....YET!

Our one and only day warm enough for the pool. Thermometer spiked to a shivery 76 degrees. Both girls were determined to stay in even though they were shaking.

Three special ladies in my life. The one in the middle, Di Anna, is not only a good babysitter, but has been my friend since we were 8 years old.

My dad (Papa) and his friend Gail, snowbirds home for the summer, meet Treya for the first time.

Praying For Cupcakes!

2011-05-18T21:45:00.001-07:00

Playing fort at Oma's house

For those who know our story, there is no need to expound on the huge changes our family has endured in the last couple of years as we have prepared our hearts and home for another sibling. I would be lying if I said that this process is easy and the transition smooth. Naturally, our first adoption was most difficult on Pat and I, as we learned our roles as mommy and daddy to Devi and found that place of comfort in our own new identities. As Treya entered our home, the one who has had the roughest time is Devi. As adults, we tend to hold these confusing thoughts and emotions inside, perhaps sorting through them while driving, or having quiet time. For a child of 4, these emotions are expressed outwardly. Navigating her way amongst the joy, silliness, compassion and love, we also see anger, tears, frustration and misbehavior. Being a big sister is really hard, is an expression we have heard from Devi more than once. While Pat and I feel that our family, in the few short months we’ve been together, is gelling in a most remarkable way, there are moments, when things are simply...hard.

Dancing at the Farmers' Market

In our nightly ritual of combing out Devi’s hair and braiding it for a night of sleep, she looked into the mirror and caught my eyes in the reflection and said, “I don’t love, Treya”. At first, I was cross with her for saying such a hurtful thing, but then realized that little kids make these attention-getting comments all the time. This seemed a bit different, however. So I asked Devi to join me for a little quiet time to talk about this. (Yes, most likely a stalling technique before bedtime, but sometimes they are necessary).

When Treya first came home, Devi, in not so many words, expressed her concern that there wasn’t enough love to go around. I explained that when God and her birth mommy found daddy and I, He put a cupcake of love in our hearts just for loving her. Boy, what a cupcake! It was pink and purple, with lots of swirly icing and tons of sprinkles and tasted delicious. When Treya came, God didn’t cut that cupcake in half. Instead he put another cupcake of love in my heart for Treya. I went on to explain, that God put cupcakes in her heart too so that there would always be enough love to go around and our love would always be so sweet.

Treya's first time riding in the bike trailer
and out first outing of the season!

Tonight she told me she did not feel her cupcake inside. She was clutching her chest and rubbing it, but said she just didn’t feel the cupcakes in there. So we talked about the difference between loving someone, and liking one’s behavior. This is a tough concept at 4, but I tried to let her know that while we love each other no matter what, sometimes we don’t care for the behavior someone is displaying. In fact, sometimes mommy does not even like daddy’s behavior, and sometimes daddy does not like what mommy has said or done, but that does not mean that the cupcakes of love in our heart are no longer there.

Thats when it came out....a flood of, “Well, I don’t like it when Treya does_________ (fill in the blank).” It was quite a long rant, but apparently, the final straw was when Treya took Devi’s baby doll out of her bed (unbeknownst to us it was staged and ready for night night) and put the doll away. Pat and I praised Treya for cleaning up. Devi blew a gasket over her ruined bed and the fact that we told Treya she had done something good! To make matters worse, we corrected Devi’s irratic behavior. Oops...guess we didn’t get all the facts.

Our sensitive girl

After carefully sorting out that snarl, we finally found a state of calm and cuddled for a few more minutes. I suggested that it was time for bed and she asked for one more thing...

“Momma, can we pray for my cupcakes?”

Absolutely darlin', absolutely!

We have not introduced Treya to many because she was so very shy in the beginning. My grandmother, the mother of 7 children, was anxious as ever to meet our newest addition. We could not have asked for a nicer meeting. Treya climbed right up into her lap, but I suppose with credentials like her's everyone feels comfortable.

We got the okay to travel to India at about the same time that a friend, Cheryl and I were going to begin a project - making matching quilts for the girl's twin beds. (Treya is still in the crib, but one day, we hope she will hold still enough while sleeping to graduate into a big girl bed like Devi) Not too little girly, and use all colors , were the only bits of guidance I gave and turned Cheryl loose to pick fabrics, bat, and sew. This is the finished product. Devi is delighted, as am I. They are beautiful. Thank you so much Cheryl!

Post Placement and Poop

2011-05-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, for me, began as any other day...up at 4:30am and out the door around 5 for work. While quietly tiptoeing in the darkness past the girls’ room, my nose took notice of a sharp scent, and I made a mental note that we should empty and freshen the diaper genie before our social worker arrived that afternoon for post placement visit #2.

Normally around 8:30am or so I receive a daily phone call or email from Pat describing how his morning went with the girls - were there any meltdowns, did he get them dressed and out the door okay, and we discuss any special things or appointments that may be scheduled for that day. More than an hour early, my in box “dinged” indicating that my morning “D & T update” had arrived. My eyes widened as I glanced at the subject line which read, “Treya and poop”.

The short two or three lines indicated that a small disaster had occurred in the night, and daddy was a little frazzled this morning. When it comes to poop, daddy tends to be a bit dramatic, so I picked up the phone to give a bit of moral support. Much to his disapproval, his report had me belly laughing with nothing but breathy bursts and squeaks coming through the receiver on his end, albeit at his and Treya’s expense. Some help I was!

Apparently, at some point during the night, most likely soon after the lights went out, Treya pooped in her diaper. Feeling a little uncomfortable and in a semi conscience state, she decided to remedy the situation. This child is a SOUND and ACTIVE sleeper, so it is of no surprise that she did not wake herself as she somehow managed to take off her jammies and her full diaper and snuggle back down into a deep slumber.

Nearly 12 hours of ACTIVE and SOUND sleep later, Devi went to wake her little sister. Poor Pat was startled awake by the sound of padded running feet and a near hysterical Devi screaming, “Daddy, daddy, I went to wake Treya and...come, come!”

Donning his CSI cap, daddy puzzled together the crime scene. Most likely the full diaper was trapped for a time under Treya’s belly, but she must have freed herself pushing it south, only to have it catch on her legs and feet, one of which is still in a cast. Not to be contained, she wriggled her legs back and forth, possibly turning over several times before settling into the crease where the mattress and bumper meet. Here she went pee pee, poor child, which managed to be wicked onto the carpet via the crib skirt. Through it all, her hands and hair managed to stay clean.

In full on “Big Sister” mode, Dev grabbed the wipes and together, she and daddy tackled the crusty mess that encased Treya’s body, described as plaster, by daddy. Daddy said in mommy’s absence, Devi was instrumental in this project. After scrubbing Treya, starting a load of laundry, and doing a bit of carpet cleaning, what was left to contend with was a pink and brown stinky cast. How does one clean a cast? Blazing a trail like a pioneer, daddy tried soap, water, toilet brush- somehow appropriate, resolve carpet cleaner, febreeze, and hydrogen peroxide to no avail. With time running out, he put a sock over the cast to muffle the stench and off to daycare and work they went.

At 3:30, our social worker pulled into the driveway, just as we all arrived home from work for our post placement visit. All was going along well, Treya was engaging (not hiding under the table), and we happily answered all of her questions about all of our family’s progress. Then she asked to see Treya’s cast. Without a second thought, I whipped the sock off instantly releasing the most foul odor causing us all to gasp, our lungs clinging to the last molecules of fresh air left in the room. Even Treya turned up her nose. I couldn’t have been more embarrassed, thankful, however, that we have a good relationship with our social worker, who never wavered once with thoughts that perhaps our parenting plan does not include bathing! In the end, she gave a glowing report and got a chuckle or two out of the story. Phew!

Treya is back into straight jacket jammies (they snap in the back) and we are not looking forward to the next two weeks of a cow spotted cast that smells, but at least we’ve improved on the scent. If ever in this predicament....bleach water does the trick! A suggestion taken from my chiropractor’s office.

Progress in Peampt

2011-05-04T21:37:00.001-07:00

Tea party in the backyard

As bath time approached the other night, the girls became eerily quiet causing this mom’s internal alarm system to sound. With the water running, I abandoning the filling tub and sink shouting, “Girls?” “In here....momma” , Devi’s voice floated through the open door to their bedroom. Spying a heap of shed clothing, I entered the room and found them lying naked side by side, each clutching a baby doll, all cuddled under the covers of Devi’s bed, with both their heads sharing her single pillow. “Can we have some privacy, mom? We are having some girl talk”, Devi said. Suppressing my laughter, I muttered an “Oh ya...sure” and backed just out of view and quietly stood to eavesdrop. The conversation went like this.

D: Treya, who are you going to marry?

T: da da da (babble)

D: Well...you could marry baby Harrison. (while she subconsciously considered candidates)

T: bababab (babble)

D: He is the right age for you and you see him everyday.

T: da da da (babble)

D: You would have to be a nymph...not a princess. I’m gonna be a duchess, but we could both wear crowns.

It was so darling, but I finally had to break it up for bath time. Funny how they manage to communicate somehow even though Treya still struggles with language. Her latest words are “bop” which means stop; “bip” which means dip; and “af tine” meaning bath time. What makes her speech so funny is that if you don’t understand what she is trying to say, she will repeat herself again and again adding a little more emphasis each time until exasperated will flip her hands over; pumping them up and down with each loud syllable she is uttering. The biggest broad smile comes over her face, followed by her Indian head bobble, when we finally guess it right.

Yesterday was another “casting” day for our Miss T. She was fine with the saw, until the power switch was depressed, beginning her wailing session giving the noise of the whirling blade competition in the open room housing six full gurney’s of onlooking young patients. We’ve noticed in our 3 short months together that Treya’s tears don’t gently run down her cheeks like most children, rather they spout out of her tear ducts, almost as if her eyes are spitting. It is a rather remarkable talent, but one that I wish we did not have to upset her so to witness. It is also rather humorous that while crying, you can ask her questions and she will answer willingly through the sobs without missing a beat, giving an Indian head bobble replying “dood”, when asked “How are you today?”

With the shell of the cast removed, Dr. Mosca put her little chubby foot through it’s paces, and announced that he sees tremendous progress yet again. More mobility, better shape, better placement - all good signs; largely due to the previous club foot treatment she received in India. After his scrutiny, he announced that the cast applied yesterday, which will be worn for two weeks, will be her last, completing the transformation in 3 rather than the predicted 6 castings. After that, she will wear corrective shoes attached to a metal bar, holding her feet in the correct position at night. Dr. Mosca is hopeful that this final effort will complete the task, avoiding the tendon transfer surgery on the top of her foot.

Oh, and it is Peampt again!

Easter And The Peampt Past

2011-04-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter 2011

Even with mother nature being uncooperative, spring is on it's way. On a chilly sprinkling day, the girls took part in the Ruston annual Egg Hunt. Although drawing a sizable crowd, there were, once again, far more eggs than were needed. As per usual, the organizers were yelling for parents to fill their pockets, bring two baskets, please take more. Our shivering girls filled their baskets to over flowing, but when Devi couldn't take a step without losing two eggs over the brim, we decided to head to the coffee shop to look over the loot. Devi cashed in with a pile of penny candy and 67 cents. Treya scored a pile of penny candy and a whopping 79 cents! Both girls were delighted and asked if they could wish everyone in the coffee shop a Happy Easter and hand out their candy. The patron's were most kind as Devi (our leader) interrupted conversations to dole out the sweets. This was the perfect segway for us to sit together and tell the Easter story.

Our now familiar traditions, such as dying eggs, have taken on new life with another child experiencing them for the first time. This year, we had our first two cups of vinegar and dye overturned in the excitement. Can you guess who the culprit was? Thank goodness for garbage bag smocks! I love to stand back and watch as Treya studies Devi for signs of how to react to these new experiences - should she laugh, act scared, act confident, say something in particular. She mimics Devi like a clone in her body language as well; sitting just like her big sister, folding her hands, crossing her feet, wearing or not wearing shoes. She is intent on getting everything just right...just like Devi.

Devi is finally at an age where she has experienced holidays enough times to know how they play out and with that comes an air of confidence. She came running into our bedroom on Easter morning whimpering and exclaiming that the Easter bunny did not stop at our house - the hearth was empty. That is when I had to open one eye and remind her that Peter Cottontail can be sneaky and likes to trick little girls and boys; perhaps she should look in other places to see if he had left something in an unexpected place. Thank goodness he did, because Devi's confidence was quite rattled...meanwhile Treya toddled along behind her showing an equal amount of concern.

Treya uses her new fingered hand to gather eggs!

Devi is the old pro, showing how it is done.

Nothing slows Treya down when egg hunting!

Later in the day, we headed to Oma's house for the Easter feast. Daddy and Oma set up another egg hunt, just for fun, inside the house because by now it was down pouring. The girls delighted in flitting through Oma's living room discovering the great egg hiding places there. All of us experiencing a bit of a sugar high, it was wonderful to fill our belly's with ham and potatoes and show Treya how to do an Easter egg war. Pat has been doing egg wars at the table for as long as he can remember...testing with a tap, the strength of the end of your egg against an opponent's egg. This year, daddy was proclaimed the winner, with Treya a close second. Although the children were begging for more candy, we had all had enough with several bowls full still wafting in our pantry.

This week - a Peampt Past!

Today, we headed back for a cast change. Treya chose a Peampt Past, or pink cast. She cried huge wet tears while the old purple cast was being cut off, but was quite talkative and received praise from the doctor and technician who applied the new one. Normally, the children have to be held down, but Treya gladly sat still and eyed them with amazement as her wiggly toes were cemented in place for another week. The doctor was thrilled with the progress of her foot shape and position in just one week, saying that she had gained about 10 percent more movement when pulling your toes toward your knee. They are hoping for a 30 percent overall range of motion when the casting is complete. This week we hope to pull the heel to a straight position, forming a stable base to stand on, as currently it is turned in and up. We managed to pull off another 4 hour stint of applying no body weight fairly easily this time, but she made up for the confinement when we booted her up and turned her loose tonight. Geez. I'm exhausted!

Whoopsie Daisy - Home Repair

Devi had her first sheet rock mishap this week. On the first sunny day we've had in months, she decided the girls should sit outside in the sun. Attempting to move two children's chairs down a flight of stairs and outside was the plan. What can I say? The girl is a mulit-tasker. Thankfully, it was only a chair that came crashing down the flight of stairs and not my pumpkin pie! While all this commotion was going on, we were all outside. Devi very calmly set both chairs out for she and Treya to enjoy the sun. A few minutes later Devi said, "Momma, I have something to tell you." She went on to explain that "...I made a small hole in the wall...actually, it wasn't me, it was the chair, but the chair had an accident." Sure enough, there was a perfect leg sized puncture clean through the sheet rock. Pat and I talked about the dangers of moving furniture alone, but praised Devi for telling us the truth about what had happened, because you could see how hard it was for her to tell us. You know she wished there were some way she could just take it all back. You could see the relief in her face as soon as she realized we were not going to get mad. She was a bit irresponsible, however, so her punishment was to fix the wall herself, with the help of daddy, of course.

Momma Musings

2011-04-20T18:29:00.001-07:00

My Little Bride!

Probably the single most fascinating thing about being a mother is watching the way your children perceive the world.

Devi is consumed with fairies, princesses and all thing pink and purple, which is pretty typical. Lately, however, she has found a new obsession. Becoming a bride. I don’t recall ever even thinking about weddings as a girl, but she loves the idea of finding her one love at age 4, most likely a romantic seed planted by Disney. You know? Living happily ever after.

The wedding cake

The other night, her pretend world brought this dream to life. Zipped and tied into our dress up closet’s version of a wedding dress, she added a hoop skirt for twirl ability and veil - complete with crown, adorned with jewels and boa feathers for detail. For an unbelievable long period of time, she stood and admired herself in the full length mirror, all the while muttering under her breath the details of her dress, her wedding, her special day; posing this way and that, taking in her full beauty from all sides. Not typically drawn toward “sappy” I have to admit, I got a little choked up for a second. Squinting my eyes a little, I couldn’t help but envision her many years from now, actually facing the wonder of her real wedding day. Jerking me back to the present, I watched as she packed the play suitcase bound for the honeymoon!

Feet with a partial club foot repair.

Purple cast - week 1

The next step in club foot repair has begun for Treya. She will wear a cast on her left leg for the next 6 weeks. Each new cast, changed weekly, will slightly alter the position of her foot. The resilience of this child is amazing. This girl is a survivor who will let nothing stand in her way in life.

Treya chose purple as the color of this first cast. I don’t know that she is overly fond of the color, but she knows her sister is, and if Devi likes it so does little sis. The procedure is done fairly quickly, but because the walking cast cures from the outside in, we have to be certain that it is good and solid before bearing any of her weight. If the position of the foot inside the cast is altered, that week does not count and we have to start over. Specifically, no weight on that leg for 4 hours! Yes, you heard me right...4 hours and yes, she is wildly busy and a used-to-being-mobile 2 year old. Pat and I did the only thing we could think of...strapped her into a stroller and “strolled” the local mall, all the while trying to entertain her with boxes of raisins, yogurt bites and flipping wheelies! Honestly, does anyone know how hard it is to “waste” 4 hours with a toddler who isn’t suppose to stand up?

With a boot attached for stability, she now is able to walk on it, or run - as the case may be. Although incredibly heavy, the cast does not seem to be slowing her down one bit. The weight of it does take over at times sending her tumbling, flying and even left scrape marks on her forehead during an over zealous diaper change. While laying on her back, the wide-eyed look of surprise on her face, as her club-like uncontrollable leg came full force toward her face, had me chuckling only for a moment at her expense. Nothing that a bit of ointment and a kiss couldn’t soothe. Night night involves removing the boot, but adding the arm splint. Some how she manages to find a comfortable position wearing a cast on the left leg and the splint on her right arm. What a trooper!

Spring is coming....

...put away the hats and mittens!

Language continues to be our biggest stumbling block with Treya, sometimes rather than frustration, bringing the best comic relief. She has made vast improvements, but still only has limited sounds. All of her words begin with the B, D, T, or N sounds. The other night I made home-made Chicken Noodle Soup. It was delicious if I do say so myself. Trey thought so too, saying, “Mmmm....dum dum, poop!” To the trained ear that was “Mmmm....yum yum, soup!”

Love these girls beyond belief!

Blossoming This Spring

2011-04-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

The Jr. Daffodil Parade - Treya's first parade ever.

In spite of our unseasonably cold weather, spring continues it’s attempt to arrive. With a glimpse here and there of new growth, comes the promise that the sunshine will grace us with it’s presence at some point. Until then, we remain focused on the small changes we see from day to day, much the same way we focus on the small changes we see in our ever settling family.

I have this identical photo of Devi at her first parade too!

Nothing like licking the beaters!

While changing into our pjs one night, I noticed that the grafted skin on Treya’s had had turned unnaturally dark...the color of my brown leather slip-ons, to be precise. Why these small states of panic only happen at bed time or on the weekends, I’ll never know, but such was the case yet again. After turning our den upside down, I finally found the phone number for the surgical resident on call at Children’s hospital. For what seemed like the next hour, we tried our best to describe over the phone what the skin looked like, while simultaneously photographing Treya’s fingers attached to one small arm that never seems to hold still. In the end, the surgical resident calmed our nerves by ruling out rejection of the skin and infection - the two big evils. Further concluding the following day, that it appears that there was too much moisture under the new skin and that a few “dry” days should help the grafted skin “pink up”. So far, that has not happened, but the confident doctors are not concerned and we are following their lead as we watch in amazement, as her new finger continues to heal and become more viable in it’s function.

March 7th - the day before surgery. Our hands how they used to look.

After surgery Treya wears a cast for 3 weeks from armpit to fingertips.

March 29th, the cast is removed and a new pinkie finger is born! Note the line draw between her middle fingers is still there showing where the doctors contemplated the separation before deciding to wait.

No cast, but 6 weeks of wearing this brace.

Now healed, but the grafted skin on the inside of the 4th and 5th fingers remains dark in color. The middle two fingers will be separated in about 1 more month to give her 5 fingers on each hand.

At Coffee time and story time.

Just as spring blossoms bring an explosion of color, so has Treya experienced an explosion of vocabulary, mimicking everything that we say. Introducing our newest family member to our silly car games has us once again yelling out “forsythia” whenever we see a bright yellow bush, one of the first plants to come alive after a cold winter. To this Treya yells “ti-ti-ta!” and manages to yell it at appropriate times, actually recognizing the plant in question.

The small single width tunnel we drive through near our home requires the driver to sound the horn to alert oncoming traffic that someone is coming. Naturally, one horn blast is never enough for us, so the driver will sound the horn every time a child yells a little encouragement. It took us a long time to realize that what Treya was yelling, which sounded like “apple core” was really her proclamation “Honk the horn!” screamed repeatedly at least a full city block in advance.

Translation of other common Treya words are boop (book), pea-pudge (garbage), babewy (strawberry), daughter (water), ah-wa-vew (I love you), tuit-tea (cookie). When ever we are talking about shoes or coats we are getting ready to go somewhere so Treya's word for what we put on our feet is "twos-on" and our outer wear is, you guessed it, "tote-on". There is a bit of confusion over daddy and Devi. Daddy is “daddy” and Devi is “deddy”, with just a slight change in pronunciation. This has both of them confused as to whom she is speaking, making conversations at times, very difficult to follow.

With the most sincere and serious expression, she loves to sing. Instead of singing lyrics, however, she swoons heartfelt sounds for the words, similar to the popular Sing-A-Ma-Jig dolls, where depressing their tummies moves their lips and a sound comes out. It is hilarious and have to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing at her. Eyes, Burp and Amen are about the only words that are recognizable to everyone and to that I say...Amen!

Dev and daddy moved her groove things at the Grand Floral Parade while Treya and I, under the weather stayed home.

Devi brings a refreshing perspective to our adult world of logic, with questions like, “Momma, can a girl be a monk?” or “India is so crowded, why have so many people decided to live there?” As an adult, I can honestly say, I’ve never pondered either of those thoughts. She also noticed as Pat bent down one day that he had gray hair. "Daddy, you have gray hair. Are you old?" Daddy corrected, "It makes me look distinguished." Devi retorted, "No daddy, you're old because you have wrinkles too." "I don't have wrinkles!" daddy said defensively. "Yes you do...on your knees and elbows!"

We all ready get the answer, “I don’t remember” when I ask about preschool activities or what she had for lunch, but occasionally she’ll share a bit about her complicated day. For instance, one day she and another girl had to collect leaves - that were really paper bills - to give to another girl so that she would be nice to them. I kid you not! At 4 years of age this stuff is all ready popping up and sparked a lengthy conversation about the meaning of friendship. Thankfully, those occasions are rare and we are more likely to her hear that she and a little boy friend were pretending to be horses. Devi was “Crystal” and he was “Spider” and they were making wood chip birthday cakes for their foals. (Thank goodness the questions of how those foals magically appeared have not come into play!)

Purse strap slung over one shoulder and with a sophisticated look upon her face, she approached Pat and I one day saying, “Bye, I’m going to go visit my boyfriend!” Playing along we said, “Bye, don’t stay out too late.” “Late?” she questioned, never considering that one would visit a friend at any time other than the day time. I inquired, “Where are you going on your date?” She replied, “Date? What’s a date?” After an explanation she said, “Come on Treya, let’s go” I asked, “Is Trey your chaperon?” She asked, “What is a chaperon?” I told her, a chaperon is the person that you always bring on a date to keep you company. That way you always have someone around to talk with."Yep, I'm never gonna leave Treya home when I have a date." To this I say....good girl!

As she walked away satisfied, I have to admit I was shocked. Normally so focused on the bigger picture, I sometimes miss the small changes...the buds forming - our buds - beginning to blossom. The signs that our baby girls are growing up are everywhere.

Stickers from a pirate...nothing says "parade" like a pirate!

A Little Mother's Love

2011-04-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

Work...it really is a 4 letter word and although it puts food on the table, and allows for a few of life's luxuries, it also means that I have to entrust the welfare of my girls to others. Gosh, I hate this part of the deal. Naturally, it is harder on me than them.

Devi is VIP at her preschool this week. She has been waiting for HER turn all year and this week the extra special duties have been bestowed upon her. Not only does she get to hold the flag for the morning pledge, but she also gets to look out the window to forecast the weather, set the table for snack time and bring in a new show and share item every day of the week that helps describe something about her. We also made a poster of photos showing her as a baby, her family, and some of the things she likes to do. She was beaming with pride over the finished product and couldn't wait to take it to school this morning.

Treya had her first full day of daycare today, following two days last week where we had a trial run for a couple of hours each day. And yes, I bawled my eyes out when she and daddy drove out of the driveway that first day. I just felt so empty. Home for only two months, I felt as though we had just started to connect - truly making that mother/daughter eye contact - needing just a couple more weeks to solidify that bond of trust.

A kind older woman cares for our Treya in her home. Grandma Nancy is experienced, soft spoken, fun and has an unbelievable home of collected toys including a pet turtle in an aquarium that even makes this grown up envious. She cares for 3 other young children and it seems to be the perfect fit for Trey. When I arrive, she asks me to come "sit" and play, not wanting to leave. On today's arrival, Treya ran to Devi, leading her by the finger to show Devi her very own cubbie that holds all of her supplies. Treya insisted that Nancy put her coat of for her, giving huge hugs and kisses as we departed.

Finding Nancy couldn't have been a nicer blessing. With splints, casts and possible surgery still in Treya's future, the flexibility of an in-home daycare, was essential. And with only a few kids, Treya is more apt to socialize; a bigger group giving her every opportunity to go play alone in a corner, much like she did in the orphanage where where she lived.

March 29th, Treya's cast was removed from her hand, revealing the birth of her new pinky finger. It was amazing to see the transformation that had taken place beneath the casting material that encased her precious digits, holding them still for healing, ensuring good blood flow to the newly grafted skin. At first sight it was swollen and a bit crusty - "icky" according to Trey, but to the rest of us, the extension of her grasp nearly doubled in capacity and the new independent finger moved so naturally from the moment it became free.

Currently, she wears a fiberglass splint with a walled partition between her new pinky and the rest of the fingers, to avoid the tendency for those fingers to grow back together. Six weeks of wearing the splint should have things healed enough to perform the second surgery to separate the two middle fingers. This is huge, as it will not only provide a full set of five fingers, although not full length, on each hand, but also will give her a ring finger, which I hope will hold the promise of a young man's love through the bond of marriage someday.

I've mentioned before that Devi's transition through this magnificent journey has been the hardest adjustment. This week, revealed yet another piece to the difficult puzzle of her intense feelings. Turns out, she is the one who wants to be the mother figure to her little sister. You should have seen her face light up the night I asked her to give Treya her bath! Devi immediately went into action, "Momma, I'll get her jammies, and night time diaper so they are ready...and I can run the water and get the lotion and have a towel ready. I can soap her hair and I'll be careful not to get soap in her eyes...I can pick out the tub toys and brush her teeth and comb her wet hair!" Who knew? I took a stab in the dark - a new approach. Here I thought she wanted to have everything fair - even Steven - between them (which when we are talking about sweets is true). Instead she was craving responsibility and the need to be trusted where her sister's well being was concerned. With my guidance, she did it. The whole evening ritual and was so incredibly loving that I had a hard time not cracking up at my little momma in action. Yes, right down to the comments, she was a mini me!

To watch the girls' evolving relationship is fascinating. Although it is not rosy all of the time, they do play together so well, having developed their own language as a means of communicating. Together, Treya is learning to appreciate Devi's love of books, music and dancing. I guess it is of no surprise that on this day, my first day back to work spent pining for my youngest daughter, she came running and screaming for none other than DeeDee, the little mother, who received the first welcome home hug with kisses.

More Than Horses and Princesses!

2011-03-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

With the white noise of the vacuum cleaner giving my mind that much needed opportunity to wander, I began thinking about four years ago, which now seems like a past lifetime. We've changed so much in those 1,460 days. This Wednesday, March 23rd marks the 4th anniversary of the day that we first laid eyes on our Devi and those sweet rosebud lips of hers. It marks the day that we first realized that we would actually become parents, responsible for far more than just our own two careers, livelihood and happiness. It was the day that our minds gave permission to our hearts to fully open to give love and receive the love of another life; a life we had longed for for a very long time.

We were so consumed by "if" there would be a child back then that we never dreamed beyond that. What sort of personality would she have? Would she be smart or struggle in school? Would she be shy or outgoing? Who knew that with the passing of time, our whole world would change in such delightful, difficult and demanding ways? Reminiscing, I thought about how every aspect of our daily living has been altered to encompass the needs of this child - our Devi Rose.

Watching her candidly still takes my breath away. She is a beautiful child. From the corner of my eye, I love to watch her shiny dark flowing hair sway as she flits about our living room, practicing ballet steps, over emphasizing her desire to be graceful and nymph-like, an impossible task at her young age despite her concerted effort. By the serious look on her face, I am certain she imagines herself a fairy princess ballerina and in her mind she is weightless, poised and possesses a tiny bit of magic.

She continues to have an insatiable appetite for books and surprised us last week during story time and coffee time at Starbucks, reading her first book from cover to cover out loud to us all by herself! We were completely shocked and had no idea she was able to sound out all those words, let alone read them. HOP on POP!! who knew? She is also a wiz at numbers, and our calculator is forever missing, as it has become one of her new favorite toys.

Recently at a child's birthday party, one woman introduced herself as the mother of a new boy at Devi's preschool. When she found out I was Devi's mom she just had to tell me that her son has been non-stop chatter about Dev since his first day. Evidently, she elected herself the welcoming committee and immediately approached him, showing him where to hang his coat, where to wash his hands, and she invited him to come play with her. I can't tell you how proud of her I was in that moment.

There are those quiet moments too, where I see the innocent infant still inside of her. Sucking her thumb and clinging onto to her pokey blanket square in just the right way to bring comfort in those sleepy moments before going bed or in times where she is feeling sad or uncertain. Always a cuddle bug, if there is an empty lap, she will find it.

Devi also has a feisty side, where she can show just enough naughtiness to get herself into trouble. She knows better, but sometimes the urge to push buttons or break rules is just too tempting to deny. She herself will tell you that the batteries in her listening ears have lost their juice!

This morning, I awoke to the sound of her footy pajama covered feet pattering across the hall to our room. As she typically does, she climbed into bed with Pat and I for a few extra minutes of cuddling before it was time to start our day. She loves to lay nose to nose to me, or give my cheeks and nose butterfly kisses. Today she whispered, "Mom, I love you more than horses and princesses. I even love you more than rainbows." Honestly, does it get any better than that? Taking into consideration the limited ability of a 4 year old to understand and verbalize their emotions, what she said was huge. It warmed my heart.

Could I have ever imagined this child four years ago? Nope. It's the gift of parenthood that just keeps evolving. Everything is unexpected, most of it is wonderful, a bit of it is a tad shocking - even the surprise at the end of my task. Opening the lint trap of the vacuum expecting to find nothing but an accumulation of lint and dirt, I found yet another surprise - glitter, boa feathers, a tiny plastic doll shoe and even a small cluster of loose princess dress sequins too.

Feasting and Frolicking!

2011-03-21T11:02:00.001-07:00

Happy Holi 2011!

The first day preceding the full spring moon marks the Indian holiday Holi. In celebration of the coming of spring everyone merrily shakes off their winter coats and welcomes a new season with a bit of rebellious frivolity and loudness. We are so ready for a little springtime weather. I've lost count of how many straight days of rain we have had keeping us cooped up inside. A reason to celebrate vibrant colors through food and merriment, although still inside due to in climate weather, was more than welcomed at our house.

Right after nap time we all dressed in our Indian outfits - both girls requesting their newly acquired Rasjastani dresses that they wore for our adoption ceremony. Accessorizing with bangles, necklaces, bindis and any other jewelry that jingled or jangled completed our ensemble.

Let the frolicking begin! We danced and played our musical instruments while listening to Indian music for nearly an hour while the feast simmered along in the kitchen just steps away. The house smelled and sounded great - very gay indeed! Devi tried to teach us some dance steps from her classes and Treya showed us how she could play her shaker on her shoulder, toe and gently on her head, all the while we spinned and paraded around the island and marched around the coffee table. All that exertion left this family of four famished.

Our Indian feast consisted of Murgh Tikka, Aloo Gobi, Channa Dal, Saffron Rice, Samosas with Spicy Mango Chutney and a healthy supply of garlic naan. The girls had mango lassi for dessert. My love of cooking is only heightened by the opportunity to prepare Indian food for my family, a meal where no one complains and everyone leaves the table with aching sides.

True to form, everyone ate heartily and I got the two thumbs up from everyone except Treya who was shoveling it in so fast I don't know as she was able to even taste it, other than to know that the smells and textures were definitely familiar to her. Devi, although possessing a fairly inexperienced palate, said that I make the best Indian food she has ever tasted, a compliment that I lovingly accept. In her mind, because she was born in India, she is an expert on these matters, and she is proud to have a pale momma who can prepare HER food.

Because gulal powder is not something one can readily pick up at the local grocer, and the throwing of it is not exactly age appropriate for the 2 year old , we once again resorted to body painting with soap paint in the tub. Even this was a stretch this year with Treya in a cast covered in plastic and an incision in her gut that is not supposed to be submerged in water. None the less, we manged to have a "wild" time in the bathtub, with lots of bubbly color applied with tricky and underhanded swipes, that brought ear splitting squeals from both girls, leaving Pat and I near deaf.

All that rebellion, gluttony and frolicking can tucker a couple of girls out. We had to wake them today at 7:15...a first at our household. We begin another day of rain today, but know that our celebration must have done some good, awakening the blossoms of spring, as I see bright yellow forsythia peeking through the fence boards of our neighbor's yard. Happy Holi!