Tuf-Enuf for baby!

On Sunday afternoon, August 19th, I stepped aside and two of my Tuf-Enuf aerobics buddies, Denise and Kris, took charge of our house and transformed it into baby shower central! It was so fun to watch the decorations go up, food preparation swirl into full swing and yummy dessert come to life. My only request of the hostess' was to include Patrick. I really wanted him to experience the excitement that a baby-oriented party congers, especially when Devi's expected arrival is so near.

Amazing how the level of competition goes up when men are present! Matching baby names with their celebrity parents was extremely challenging for almost everyone, but the guys gave it their all. It was too funny to listen to comments like, "that's not a baby name!" or "they shouldn't be having children together" and "I don't even know who that is!" Obviously, some of us haven't been buying enough People magazines :)

Next was the taste test. Baby food tasting that is! We tried eight different flavors?...types?...colors? I'm not sure what the baby food companies are trying for here, but bland seems to be key. Up until yesterday, Pat has thought of Mac n Cheese as its own food group; a staple. Baby Mac n Cheese, however, is unanimously forbidden in our house! It was the most horrid tasting muck I have ever let pass my lips. Plah, plah! No wonder kids become picky eaters :)

We rounded out the events by attempting to drawing a picture of a baby while holding the paper on our heads. Doug won this one followed by a round of whoops and high-fives. I was the judge and am a sucker for cute facial features....at least that is what I thought those were! Honorable mentions went to the baby that was drawn teeny tiny like Devi by Linley and another one was crying with hand written sound effects "wah". Cleeeveerrrr...wink wink!

We even had a celebrity grace our presence. Believe it or not, Snow White was in town! Just our luck :) She was a great helper and assisted Pat and I with the gifts. We were showered with all kinds of wonderful baby must haves and indulgences! Everything from a copy of Pat the Bunny, a big hit with Patrick (wonder why?), to a brightly colored tie-dyed dress, which I was totally digging (a mommy's girl in that regard, I hope)!

The day was great fun. It was especially nice to see our fellow Tuf-Enuf-ers in street clothes. It is sometimes hard to recognize everyone when there is no sweat! We all seem to clean up pretty nicely though :) Thank you to everyone who made the day so special for us....for the future babysitting volunteers and all the parental advise. We are so incredibly lucky to have the support of friendship in both happy and troubled times. It is truly amazing.

As we settled down that night and recounted the day, Pat was smiling from ear to ear, occasionally letting out a chuckle. After years of hearing baby shower horror stories, he said he never expected the day to be so much fun. Okay girls, the secrets out...baby showers aren't for just women anymore! Thanks so much Denise and Kris.

A Room of Your Own

The day we allowed ourselves to begin preparing your room also marked the day that we felt sure that you would, without a doubt, be joining our family forever. Before this, the sense of being vulnerable seemed far to great to start. On this sunny day in July, however, we donned our painting clothes, rolled up our sleeves and immersed ourselves in thoughts of you. It was a great day...and everyday after as we worked on a project for your room, our hearts have felt so full. This may explain why your room is...well....so full! We hope you love it!

One special item is the grandparent's hand print picture that we made for you. I've explained earlier that this was our way of having my mother ( your grandma Dee Dee) take part in preparing for you before her passing. I love how it turned out; each print gives you a glimpse of each of the grandparents unique personalities, all of whom, love you so much.

Your borrowed crib was handcrafted out of sturdy maple by your Aunt Lisa and Uncle Tim for your cousins Olivia and Jordan. It was made for "Ross babies" and says so right on the bottom. That is why your Aunt Shannon and Uncle George wanted us to use it. The crib has traveled alot since it's creation. The latest leg of it's journey from Montana to Washington was in the back of Oma and Opa's car...special delivery.

Around your room are toys of mine saved from when I was a girl, including the tattered old teddy bear your great grandpa gave me when I born, which will hopefully bring you comfort as it did me so many years ago.

The furniture was used by your aunt Joan and I when we shared a room as girls and the rocker was a hand-me-down gift from Gail, a friend of your grandpa.

The valance is the sari that was given to us from our friends Martha and Paul (mentioned in an earlier blog entry) and the yellow and gold embroidered lamp shade was purchased from the Indian restaurant we like to frequent. It was a woman at Gateway to India who taught us the correct pronunciation of your Indian name and smiled when she informed us we were adopting a bengali girl!

We hope that you will feel safe and comfortable in this room of your own. We are certainly ready for you! Will you be ready for us? Hmmm....

We Couldn't Be Happier!

I guess that goes for Devi too! Today we found out that the judge signed our guardianship papers and we can begin to prepare to travel in as soon as 4 weeks. With a huge exhale we just have to stop and wonder for a brief moment. Does this judge have any idea the powerful thing he has just allowed to happen for this couple and child who are soon to become a family? This experience for us has taken a turn. Suddenly, the feelings of worried hopefulness have turned into joyous anticipation and it feels wonderful.

As LUCK would have it (a term we have referred to often in this blog), Tami, another Dillon mother is picking up her daughter in India and sent us 6 more precious pictures. I especially liked this one....another tiny spec of personality revealed to us...a Kodak moment :)! In her message she had this to say about the girl we only know through a few pictures, two short video clips and now this message.

Bhargabi is adorable. She seems very calm and easy going. She was standing on her own without any assistance. She has a few teeth. She likes to suck her thumb on her right hand. She is babbling some...and makes good eye contact. She was a little shy about us picking her up, so we didn't force it. But she was really interactive otherwise. She and Mohana share a crib.

We've also heard that she and Mohana have taken quite a shine to each other. I think that is so sweet that these two have each other. First friends.

Case Approved!

"Good Morning! Bhargabi's case was approved by the Judge in the Kolkata courts today, Congratulations!

That is the message I saw this morning when I opened my email and I can't think of a better way to start a day. Can you?

It has been such a long long time in coming. Next step....the attorney will now write up the guardianship court order and will submit it back to the judge for his signature. (This usually takes a minimum of a week and we are continuing to pray for no delays) Once it is signed the guardianship part of the process will be done and the documents will be released to the babies home so they can send them to Dillon to apply for Devi's Indian passport.

On the home front, we get to start applying for our visas, and collecting our necessary paperwork. We also will be getting immunized for travel. Patrick just had to come meet me for lunch today and we shared the biggest hug. This feels so good.

Daddy's thoughts

On Saturday morning when daddy woke up he rolled over to me in bed and his first words to me were...
"Are you good at math?" With sleep still stirring in my brain, I focused and thought about it and said...yes. Then he said "Oh good, you'll have to help Devi with her math homework." With that he rolled back over and closed his eyes again.

We were driving around recently running errands with the radio playing, the car was otherwise silent. Out of the silence daddy said.....
"What if she doesn't like soccer?"

I was reading from the India travel book about some of things I'd like to see and asked daddy what sites he'd be interested in seeing while in India. He responded...
"Devi...I want to SEE Devi. Everything after that is a bonus."

Yesterday I called him at work and said, "Are you ready to turn our not-so-wonderful-summer around?"
Daddy responded, "REALLY! We got it? Legals, I mean?" Boy did I feel awful when I told him, "Oh, no...I managed to score Stevie Wonder tickets."
I need to learn to be more careful about what I say these days...he is a bit jumpy :)

Almost daily, daddy says
"I can't wait to hold her..."
and that goes for both of us!

Many Thanks

To everyone who has sent condolences regarding the passing of our greyhound, Konrad, we say thank you. The outpouring of concern and understanding has truly helped Pat and I with the grieving of this great loss.

We also say thank you to the Nevin family for taking the last batch of pictures and video of our darling girl.

Another thank you goes to Pam and Joel for sending what we think is a picture of Devi at about 2 months old that was taken during their trip to India to get their son, Micah. All pictures are precious and we are grateful to have every one.

Lastly, thank you to Macy's for putting an end to my year long search for small recliners. We realized after living in this house ten years that there was no comfortable seating in the room that gets used the most...the family room. Since finding out about our sweet pea, Pat has had this starry eyed dream of having Devi fall asleep on his chest while seated in a recliner...hence the new chairs have been dubbed "Devi's recliners".

Parallels

How is it possible for the human heart to be near bursting with joy over the addition of a new child into the family and breaking apart at the contemplation of losing another member of the family at the same time?

It is with great sadness that I share that our Konrad has been diagnosed with osteosarcoma in his rear leg below the knee. This cancer is a fast growing extremely painful disease with no cure. Ironically, it is the one of the same types of cancer that my mother faced. Left untreated, the risk of broken bones would be high and Konrad's life would probably be coming to a close about the time we would be leaving for India. I don't know if there is such a thing as perfect timing, but I can tell you this is not it. Amputation is the option we chose. While this is not a cure, it will take away Konrad's pain and hopefully will prolong his longevity, allowing us to travel to India and avoid leaving Konrad's fate in the hands of those who would be caring for him in our absence. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we pursue Konrad's treatment. His surgery is in progress as I type this.

On the same day that we received this sad news, we also received new photos and a video of our sweet DeeDee, courtesy of another traveling family. Naturally, it brought a lift in our spirits as we witnessed, for the first time, our princess sitting independently and sucking her thumb. What a bright spot she brings to our lives at this difficult time without even knowing it.

*Update: Our dear boy made it through the surgery quite well. He rallied, was drinking water and things looked very hopeful. Unfortunately, there was a complication. A blood clot broke loose and went to his heart. The vet administered CPR and revived him and again Konrad was doing well. Later, his heart stopped a second time and Konrad could not be revived.

It is with heavy hearts that we say goodbye to our dear poochie. He would have truly loved a tail pull or ear scritch from Devi and certainly any scraps of food that may have fallen his way. He will be dearly missed. He was such a good boy.

Monsoon in Seattle

Dear Devi,
More and more often my thoughts are stolen away to images of you. Today as I was eating lunch I noticed that we are experiencing a day similar to what you must be having during your first Monsoon season. Through the folds of the angry gray sky are the rays of sunshine that somehow are finding their way to earth, proving that we are truly in the height of one of our warmer months. The day is leisurely passing the time going from sprinkle to shower and back to sun again. Although we rarely experience humidity, today steam, like the kind one sees leaving the rim of an open pot just before it boils, is rising from the warmed and wet asphalt and is swirled away by the breeze of passing traffic. This rare combination of intermixing warm and cool wind intensifies the scent of spices wafting from behind the counter where I am eating my vegie taco lunch. As I close my eyes, I am in the India I have been imagining this past 2 and a half years. You are on my hip, fascinated by my earrings or my hair and are swinging your chubby legs, babbling a thousand miles an hour about all things you just can't wait to tell us. Your dad bargains for the treasures we have chosen from a vendor at the local market place that is overwhelmed us with it's energy and colorful wares. The clatter of the restaurant and next sudden downpour brings me back to the present where I sit staring at the same page of my book....India: A travel Guide. I've read the same page about Jaipur, the pink city, several times now and must go back to work....with a smile on my face.

Thanks for sharing my lunch with me sweet DeeDee.
Love you so very much,
Mom

Losing Patience!

Losing patience! I guess we all are. I have received so many phone calls, emails and inquiries about what is happening with Devi. We appreciate all of your support so much and I wish I had more details. (If you just can't wait...you might want to scroll to the bottom first!)

I do have one morsel of information to share. On July 3rd we received email from Dillon that the "scrutinization" of our documents was complete. Scrutinization is the first part of the Kolkata court process. Basically, all of our information has been "scrutinized" by an attorney of the court and a report has been written that "recommends" that the judge "approve" our guardianship. That all sounds positive to me, so woo-hoo and high-fives to that!

The next step is having a court date set for our guardianship hearing. This usually takes 3-4 weeks. This is the scary part because sometimes cases have to go through several hearing dates before the case is done. The agency will let us know when the case is approved or if the judge asks for additional paperwork. In addition to the possibility of multiple hearing dates, we also have a judge whose term ends in August. He may or may not decide to continue on for another term. Although he has been difficult at times, I hope he chooses to stay on because if a new judge takes his place, they tend to take a month or more to learn their new positions...a time when NO cases will be heard. Of course the timing falls right at a crucial time for us. I explained all this to my sister-in-law, Lisa, recently and to quote her..."Now I know what I am praying and crossing all my body parts for!" We are gladly accepting prayers for a smooth and speedy court process and if you feel like crossing body parts too...by all means, do! :)

There are a lot of outside sources that sustain us through this time. Family and friends for sure, but I have to give kudos to the Dillon forum (a group of Indian adoptive families) who share thoughts and their own experiences with adoption. They are the "go-to" group...a wealth of information and just plain support. They remind us of what we are trying to accomplish and that the outcome far surpasses the journey to get there.

We just try to stay busy, although Patrick tells me every morning he can't wait to hold her! Currently, we are fast and furiously working on Devi's room which we hope to share photos of soon. We view the video of her often and are starting on her Lifebook which will tell the story of how we found each other. And for those of you who are still starved for information, after all that, we hear rumors of updated pictures coming soon! I hope, I hope!

SIDE NOTE!! No sooner had I posted this latest message when what should arrive? A message from Dillon and our Bengali girl graces my computer with her presence! I LOVE FRIDAY THE 13THS! This photo was taken July 6, 2007 by a traveling family. We are so thankful for their efforts.

My Godh Bharna

My long time lady friends Donna, Cheryl, Wendy and Wendy’s two daughters; Addy and Emily hosted the most wonderful baby shower for us last Saturday, June 9th. In attendance were a prominent group of ladies: my sister and sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, ladies from my dad’s side of the family, co-workers, past co-workers and a few friends.

The hostesses loosely incorporated a few elements of symbolism from a Godh Bharna into a traditional American shower giving the afternoon a little twist of Indian flair. It was a very fun afternoon. Typically the Godh Bharna is the ceremony that celebrates the first pregnancy of the bride of the house and is held in the seventh month of pregnancy. Devi is in her seventh month of life so we thought that was a fun coincidence. The ceremony begins with the mother to be, dressed in traditional finery chosen by her mother, enters through the front door and parades to where the worship will begin. With each step, silk cloth and coins are placed at her feet. Sadly, my mother is no longer with us, so on her behalf the "finery" I chose to wear was my sweet sixteen gold ring and gold earrings that were both gifts from her. For our parade, as each guest entered, a dupatta of their choosing was put around their neck. Photos, of each guest were taken against a backdrop of orange flowered silk decorated with a Welcome Devi Rose sign. Later, the photos were printed and passed out to their owners who each left a welcome message for Devi on the back. The collection of photos were put into a photo album to help introduce Devi to all these wonderful women!

Obra presenting me with a nada chhadi

Next, my sister-in-law, Obra, tied a yellow bracelet around my right wrist. This auspicious thread is known as a nada chhadi. It is very significant because it is supposed to ward off evil spirits...in our case it was to protect us from grumpy judges! While it is presented, the guests are suppose to be singing traditional baby shower songs, but we didn't know any :)

Devi's great-grandma having her welcome photo taken. She thinks Devi might be a "rascal" :)

We played a word scramble and a game where we each came up with nicknames for Devi beginning with a different letter of the alphabet. My 91 year old grandmother chose “rascal” which I thought was so cute. Others included, precious, angel-eyes, lovey, gorgeous, honey and one hostess Cheryl chose Daisy....after her cute dachshund! Part of the entertainment was watching Devi’s video. Being able to share a glimpse of our girl with everyone we love was the highlight of the day for me. She is more amazing each time I see her. I think the overall consensus is that she is pretty darn cute!

My sister Joan, and me. What a filled lap!

Donna taught us that Godh Bharna in Hindu mythology means “to fill the lap” (godh meaning the lap of the woman, and bharna meaning to fill). Traditionally, the lap is filled by the expectant mother’s mother and mother-in-law with items that symbolize good omens. In our case my lap was filled with baby necessities and thoughtful gifts for Devi. No question she is loved and spoiled rotten all ready! An additional “lap full” of wonderful donations to take with us was another huge surprise.

The afternoon was topped off with a delicious high tea. A table full of cucumber and curry finger sandwiches, quiches, and scones were guarded by a gorgeous flower arrangement and diaper cake centerpiece complete with a stuffed elephant representing Lord Ganesh on top. We ended the afternoon with angel wing cupcakes decorated with cardamom frosting and watermello punch.

I am still reeling from this amazing day. I can't thank the hostesses enough for throwing the best party I've ever attended. To know that Devi’s life will be touched by so many amazing woman gives both Patrick and I a tremendous sense of comfort. We are so truly blessed.

NOC approved!

What a way to start out a week! I was surprised by an email from Tami, the India program director with Dillon, stating that we had received our NOC (no objection certificate). Essentially, a set of our paperwork was sent to CARA, in New Delhi, where they presented it to a committee for approval. Our case was approved!!! We were told this could take up to 4 months from the time that we received Devi's referral. Although we were secretly hoping to hear news of approval sooner than later...as the adoption process goes...we had all ready anticipated a much longer wait. It was a pleasant surprise clearing this hurdle so quickly.

As I type this, our NOC is being sent to Kolkata. When it arrives, our case will be submitted to the Kolkata courts for scrutinizing of the documents and a Guardianship hearing. We have been told this process takes 2 months or longer....emphasis on the LONGER.

I have mentioned many times about the struggles of other adoptive families at this stage. The progress of this adoption is now in the hands of the judge, who has a reputation for being a bit difficult. In the past, he has caused delay upon delay. We hope and pray he has all the kinks worked out of his system and we and the other families who are at this stage of the adoption process will sail right through. Patrick and I have all the confidence in the folks at Dillon, CARA, and the orphanage who are representing us.

We are learning the patience to survive the wait from a tiny girl who, at barely 13 pounds, has stolen our hearts. A short video of her arrived last week. Suffice to say, the tape is nearly worn through from repetitive viewing! Depressing the PLAY button for the first time brought a flood of happy tears to our eyes. I don't think either of us could focus through the river of saline to even make her out! Now, with each viewing we discover another detail about our Devi and her developing personality. She looks happy and very well cared for and seems to be progressing very well. We discovered on the tape that Devi loves giving those wet, open-mouthed baby kisses to anyone who gets close enough to receive one. I can't wait until it is my turn!

Behind the Scenes

We have been so lucky to receive pictures of our sweet Devi far more frequently than we ever expected. Although it all seems a bit blurred, in addition to staring at her beautiful face, there has been alot going on. So without upstaging the star of the blog, I thought I would share a glimpse of what has been happening behind the scenes.

After receiving Devi's referral phone call, a packet of over a hundred acceptance papers arrived. Some were stapled, some were paper clipped and some were held together with string. Fifty-five of the documents required a notary seal! The hardest one to sign was the document on the top of the stack with Bhargabi's little one inch by one inch picture stapled to it. Our first glimpse of our girl and we were required to sign our names right across her precious face.

By the looks on our faces you know this is one of our happiest days!

The next thing was sharing our news! Our support system had grown weary from waiting right along with us. In fact, people finally quit asking, "Who is she?" or "When will you know something?" This is what made the telling so absolutely wonderful.

Telling our friends Jan and Cindi about Devi.

Sharing Devi with Oma and Opa, Patrick's parents.

Explaining to Konrad and Cayenne that they had suddenly gone down a peg in our pack order.

A couple of days after spreading the word to family in Colorado, this filled-to-the brim box of wonderful hand-me-downs arrived from Lina's closet. Lina is Devi's 5 year old cousin who had been carefully saving things for a long time. Also enclosed were hand written congratulation cards from Lina and her brother Ryan that were so sweet!

Once the word had been spread, we got to work on a few projects. The first of which is Devi's quilt. We have been saving our favorite clothing for the past 18 years waiting for this project to begin. A few of the more memorable pieces are the shirt that Patrick wore when we left on our honeymoon to Jamaica and the dress shirt from his first professional job after completing college. Pictured in Pat's lap is my favorite pants suit which when cutting it up I noticed "Made in India" on the tag!

We also managed to squeeze in a trip to Mexico with friends. It was a wonderful opportunity to exhale, get a little R&R (we both had our first real massages!) and regroup. It was the strangest sensation to feel like we were leaving our girl behind, when really we were traveling closer to where she is. No matter that she is half way around the world from us, she is never far from our heart!

Last week on Devi's 6 month birthday, we took a suggestion from Jenya's family and decided to celebrate Devi's 6 month mark. We wore silly party hats and had noise makers and sang Happy Half Birthday to her...complete with cake and candle. We don't need to tell you what we wished for on Devi's behalf! This event was captured on video to share with her when she arrives home.

Well, there you have it, a behind the scenes look of what parents-to-be do with their free time! Although it just wouldn't be right to end this post without a peek at our darling daughter. So the final photo is one we just received that was taken on May 1st. Devi is hard to make out, but I love the photo because it gives a good idea of what the nursery is like. The woman in the picture is Dr. Butta who has worked for Matri Sneha for years and knows all the children very well. Devi is in the green and we are told she now weighs 13.3 pounds and is 23 inches long.

Dr. Butta with our Devi Rose!

My Birthday Wish!

"Be careful what you wish for" has always been my motto, but not anymore! The smoke swirl of all those extinguished birthday candles barely had a chance to dissipate before granting my birthday wish this year. MORE PICTURES!

There happened to be another family who adopted a child through the Dillon India Program in the 90's who went back to visit the orphanage while on vacation. While there, they took pictures of our Devi Rose. These were taken on March 20th, 2007. Patrick said he teared up when viewing this photo for the first time...seeing someone hold our girl!

And if I wasn't spoiled enough, here is our precious little one having sweet dreams at 2 and a half months. This picture was taken on February 7th 2007, long before we knew she was ours. Receiving photos of a child this young is rare and we feel so incredibly lucky to have it.

Decisions, Decisons!

Joy, Faith, Abigale, Dana, Dhura, Asha, Patricia Dianne, Authority, Gabi, Annie and Melani. Thank you for this sampling of suggested names for our baby girl. They are all wonderful. But as Pat and I discovered, choosing the right name was harder then it seems.

There were several names we chose during the long wait that we liked, but that changed the day we saw her tiny face for the first time. Captured in the millisecond of time it took to snap that photograph a glimpse of a real baby's personality was revealed to us. We were faced with our first parental responsibility...giving her a name. I hope we got it right!

She is Devi Rose Bhargabi Ross. Devi is a Hindi name which means goddess. We liked the "D" sound and it goes nicely with our nickname Deedee after my mother. It was in one of mom's last lucid moments that I shared this idea with her and with a raise of her eyebrows and an unforgettable stare, I knew she was pleased.

Rose is to honor Patrick's great aunt Rose. Aunt Rose is now in heaven, but she was a strong woman in her day; a real go-getter. She played basketball in long skirts long before sports for women was common and hiked clear to the top of Pike's Peak! She was happily married to a man named Henry, but never had children of her own. Instead, it is said that she adopted many children in her chosen field. She was a school teacher who taught first in a one room school house in Poverty Gulch, CO, later becoming a principal in Wheatridge, CO. This school was eventually named and still is known as Rose A. Stein Elementary.

We kept Bhargabi because it was the first thing ever given to her and it is hers to keep.

During this process of trying out names, we yelled them out in stern voices, and whispered them soft tones. We wrote it down; tried shortened versions of it; moved the names around. Will the acronym look good on a towel? a brief case? Lord help us! I hope as we go along that we will become better at decision making :)

Our Bengali Girl!

She can be serious...

She can smile!

As our luck would have it, another Dillon family is in India right now picking up their new daughter, Anela. They were so gracious as take pictures of our Deedee. These were taken yesterday!

We are still undecided about her name, however, we have learned a bit about the name Bhargabi. Pat and I have consulted several sources :) and have found that Bhargabi is the name of a famous river in India that runs from inland to the Sea of Bengal through the state of Orissa. She was named by Ms. Anju Roy or Dr. Butta at the babies home.

Those delicious eyes have this mom in heaven!

Step One - Signing

We have had a hard time having the packet of acceptance papers notarized. Our bank hedged when they saw the number of pages that needed a notary stamp. Then they flat out refused when they saw the bundles of paperwork from India had stickers denoting where the notary should sign and were bound with string rather than a staple or paperclip.

After searching through our network of friends, we found out our next door neighbor, Lesley, is a notary. Who knew? She agreed to come over and do the signing with us. On her way, she noticed a hint of smoke in the air and as she neared our entry, noticed smoke rising from the skylight of the house directly behind ours. Patrick met her at our front door and by the time he could get the phone to dial 911, the windows were breaking out of the neighbors house, now totally on fire! Luckily, the home was vacant while a major remodel was being completed. We stood and watched as the firefighters axed their way into the smoke filled basement area and attempted to save the shell of the home.

The ironic part of the story is the day I was born, April 30th 1963, my parents watched out the window of the hospital as the Music Box Theater burned to the ground in Tacoma. My dad was a firefighter so next to my birth this was a big event! Throughout my life, the story of my birth always ended with "That was the day of the famous Music Box Theater fire!"

While Bhargabi was obviously all ready born, this was the day that we officially took steps to make her a part of our family. Growing up in a firefighter family there has always been a fascination with the work they do and I'm sure this day will always be remembered as the day we signed papers and watched the neighbors house burn!

The good news is our papers are in route to Kolkata, India right now! The last time I tracked our package it was in New York, but headed international! Once signed, Ms. Anju Roy and her staff at ISRC will review the acceptance paperwork, along with our dossier and prepare our case for CARA (Central Adoption Resource Agency). This step can take 2-4 weeks.

And...she looks a little like Pat

All along we hoped for a healthy girl with a touch of my flair for style and a bit of Patrick's good looks. Here she is! A picture truly is worth a thousand words but we can sum it up in just two– "beautifully perfect". I would love you to meet...well, there is a problem. We haven't agreed on her full name yet. We are taking suggestions if you would care to share them. To us she is Baby D, in honor of my mom, Dianne, who I'm sure is helping to choreograph this blessed union from heaven.

Friday, March 23rd around 12 noon, I received a phone call from Tami Davidson, the director for the India program at Dillon International. The sweet words that echoed through the phone receiver were, "Would you like to hear about a baby girl referral that we think would be a good match for you and Patrick?" I replied, "You BET!" Tami started by telling me that she hasn't heard girl referrals that are this healthy in a long time. Wow! that statement alone started an adrenaline rush in me sending tingles to my hands and feet that lasted for hours. I'm sure I could have run a marathon in no time flat.

My first glimpse of our girl brought a flood of emotion that words can not describe. After years of envisioning blurry scenes of a faceless tiny brown skinned babe with dark wavy hair interacting with us, it was hard to comprehend this beautiful pudgy face with black piercing eyes and rosebud lips in it's proper spot. I don't know what I expected, but she clearly blew me away.

Naturally, I couldn't get through to Patrick and had to leave a message to have him call me back with the tremble in my voice a little obvious that something might be up. When he did I asked him what he thought of the word Bhargabi? When I told him this was the name of his new daughter the phone went silent and then exploded with whoop-whoops and screaming. (I think it went over well, don't you?)

Poor Patrick had to wait to until quitting time to catch his first look. As he tells the story, by the end of his work day his concentration was shot and he couldn't drive fast enough to see that picture. I will never forget the look on his face as he entered my office that day. I've never felt more loved by him than in that moment. His face was flushed, his eyes were teary and his signature toothy grin was spread wide from cheek to cheek. "Where is she?" he said. I handed him Bhargabi's picture and time stood still as he stared and stared, taking in every last detail of her cute little face. We both couldn't believe this was happening. Do we believe in love at first sight? Absolutely!

So far, we know that Bhargabi was born on November 15, 2006 and weighed 2kg (about 4.5 pounds) at birth. She was premature and showed signs of stiffness in her hips, but is improving with physiotherapy. She is pictured at 3+ months old and now, at 4 months, weighs about 4.3kg. She is described as being a happy baby who smiles easily and has a good appetite. :) She is well cared for by ayahs (nannies) at the Matri Sneha (Mother's Love) babies home in Kolkata, India and is waiting for us to be united forever.

An extra touch of sweetness was added to the day when we found out that another Dillon family I have been corresponding with (who were waiting at #1 on the list and who live in RI) also received a girl referral this day. Our children are one day apart in age and may be sharing cribs or living space. Friends, I hope. If all goes well, there is a chance that we may be traveling at the same time and could actually meet.

The next steps for us involve legal matters and we know that this part of the process can take between 4-8 months. After waiting 18 months to find out who our daughter would be, 4-8 sounds like a breeze. I'm sure that will not be the case. Once our feet find the ground again, we will be itching to travel to India and smother those cute pudgy cheeks with kisses. So, for now, another wait begins. If we've learned nothing else in this 2 year and 3 month process thus far; it is faith and patience! Because without it, one would go crazy.

For those of you who are new to our blog, it was started as a remembrance for Baby D, but also as a way to communicate and share with family and friends our adoption journey. We would love to hear your comments and thoughts via the blog, or privately at greenden@comcast.net. Please check back often as we will updating as we hear more news. Thanks for the prayers and well-wishes this far. Keep up that good work! All three of us are going to need it.

Because I will never tire of saying it: this is our daughter and...she looks a little like Pat!

Sitting at #2

We found out January 12th that we have moved to #2. As far as we're concerned, #2 might as well be #1 because the referrals tend to come in groups. YEAH! we are so excited. We celebrated by having Indian food at Gateway to India our favorite Indian restaurant. Now we wait for the phone call to find out who you are.

We also made another purchase...diapers! The first box, of many I'm sure, entered the house, thanks to Costco and their great sales.

Troubles still loom large with the judge in Kolkata. He has been slowly signing cases, but not without asking for more documentation. The latest form now required lists all of the names a person has ever been known as ie: J. Doe, John Doe, John M. Doe etc.

On January 25th our fingerprints expire, so we are awaiting a renewal appointment and we both have to update our medical records again. Slowly, ever slowly we are honing in on this adoption.

What is keeping us going right now, is another family who is in India picking up their son. They are painting a vivid picture of their adventure on their blog. I can't seem to open their site up fastest enough each day to find out another morsel of information and imagine the day when it will be us reporting to others who are waiting. Can't wait, can't wait!

Happy New Year

Yesterday, your daddy woke up and the first thing he said was, "In 2007 we will become parents!" It warmed my heart to see him so excited for this.

This year also brings the expiration of alot the paperwork we've worked through to get this far. So, we have to start over again to get renewals. We have the medical papers, fingerprints and the home study to redo so far. We've heard a rumor that referrals should start coming in the first or second week of January. We are still at #4 but hope our turn comes soon!

Silent Night, Holy Night!

We'd hoped that we would hear news of who you are for Christmas, because we could think of no other gift we'd rather receive. Unfortunately, the governmental problems with the judge in Kolkata continue to be an issue. We also learned that VCA (the organization that determines that a child is available for International adoption) has just received it's renewed license. I don't know how long that process took, but no children could enter the adoption process during that time. So, for now, we cling to the rumor that referrals should be starting to come again in the beginning of the new year. This process has certainly taught us to have patience and faith, because without it, one would go crazy.

On Christmas eve this year, we were fortunate to have part of our extended family, George (Pat's brother), wife, Shannon and two neices Olivia and Jordan join us with Pat's parents for candle light service. We sang Christmas hymns, listened to the beautiful bell choir and received the Christmas message, all the while I was thinking of you and where you might be this magical night. As is tradition, the lights eventually lowered and we prepared to lite our candles. By this time, the girls, dressed in their new sparkly dresses, were getting tired and their holiday energy was beginning to waver. Little Jordan climbed into my lap and cuddled close to my chest. With Jordan's tiny hand in mine, we held the candle, tipping it into George's flame and soon a tiny flicker of light brightened the tip of our candle. Together, the congregation sang "Silent Night, Holy Night. All is calm, all is bright". It was tender memorable moment and it was my Christmas wish for you.

With patience and faith, next Christmas I will feel your weight on my lap and will be able to hold your tiny hand in mine.

Merry Christmas, little one

Adoption Backlog

Although this is not a very nice addition to the blog, I'm trying to keep a record of all that happens so we can accurately tell the story of how you came to us.

Currently, the judge in Kolkata is not signing any adoption papers (domestic or international) and hasn't since last June. There are 11 families in front of us who know who their children are, but do not have the final signature from this judge to go pick them up. This means that the babies home is full and can accept no more children until space becomes available. The judge was suppose to go before a higher court to force him to start signing, but this did not happen. He claims he will start moving the papers along, but that has not happened yet either. So we all continue to wait.

For your daddy and me, this means that we may have to wait longer to find out who you are. We thought that you were born and at the babies home all ready, but we don't know this for sure. Another adoptive family shared their thoughts about why the adoption process takes so long. They said that you are busy taking in as many memories as you can about the beautiful country, people and culture of India to share with us as a family later. I like this idea very much and it makes the wait for you much more tolerable. In the meantime, we both hope that you are safe, healthy and well cared for.

Happy Diwali Little One

Happy Diwali!  Tomorrow is India's most celebrated holy day.  Below is
the meaning of Diwali.  Enjoy!

What is the meaning of Diwali or Deepawali?
Diwali comes from the language Sanskrit "Deepawali"-Deepa meaning
light, wali meaning row, hence row of lights. Or as otherwise known,
festival of lights. People will light 'diyas' or lights of oil, or oil
lamps. This is done by using a small brass plates or tiered plates as
a lamp and putting oil or ghee (clarified butter) in the plates and
putting wick and burning it.

What are some religious aspects of Diwali?
Diwali is celebrated differently in different parts of India,
traditions can span all over India. It is generalized that people in
South India usually take oil baths in the morning. Puja (prayer) in
South India is more associated with Goddess Laksmi, while in North
India Puja (prayer) is more associated with return of exile of the
reincarnation of God named Lord Ram.

How do people celebrate Diwali in India?
Diwali is the greatest festival.  Firecrackers and candles are used.
The firecrackers begin a month in advance, and nearer to Diwali it is
not even possible to think or walk outside without them being burst.
The pujas (prayers) go on for a week or more, but due to modern times,
only one to two days is given for holiday for Diwali.  Families and
friends share gifts and have nice meals on Diwali evening.

This message was sent from another adoptive family on one
of the email lists we subscribe to.

This morning, when your daddy woke up he said ,"I think about
our daughter all the time. What she is doing when she is halfway
around the world? I don't sleep in anymore, because
I know she will be getting us up early."

I hope that you are not frightened by the fireworks today. If you
are, I hope that you find comfort in the arms of one of the ayahs
that care for you.

An Anniversary of Sorts

So we've been on the list waiting for your referral for a full year and are now at #4. It is hard to believe sometimes that it has been that long. I guess the good news is that we have crested the hill of waiting and are on the downward side of the wait now. (I hope!)

The average wait from the time one's dossier is received until a referral is accepted is about 14 months right now. If that is true, we will be finding out about you for Christmas. What a wonderful gift that will be. It is times like this that we would like to say thank you to your birth mother for making such a selfless decision to give you a chance at a better life than she could offer. It is this outpouring of love that we hope you will come to appreciate and admire about someone whom you will probably never meet. You will be in her heart forever just as you have entered ours.

All of this also means that you are probably about 2 months old right now! That is amazing. You are just now discovering the world around you and have no idea that your forever family is waiting halfway around the globe waiting to discover you!

To remember this milestone I purchase you a small gift. Actually they are three books that were recommended by some of my Dillon adoptive mother friends that tell the story of international adoption. I'm sure we will read them together over and over again.

My friend Martha (who happens to adopted too) recently gave me a beautiful sari for your bedroom. She had purchased it at an Indian market in California and had packed it away for years waiting for the perfect opportunity to display it. When she found out about you, she thought you would enjoy it most. So this beautiful fuschia and mango beaded sari is now the sash across your bedroom window. Thank you Martha.

Baby Steps...Literally!

We just learned that we have moved up a few notches on the waiting list. I can't express the flood of emotions that come with this news. We are now at #5, and although we have a long way to go, Pat and I are feeling like we really might become a family. The excitment at times is overwhelming. We both are eager to start decorating your room and preparing for you, but are hesitant because we are aware of the long long wait ahead. We have calcutated and analyzed this "list" in every way possible searching for the best case and worst case scenarios, but it is totally out of our hands.

I have also become email pals with several other people adopting through Dillon. Everyone has advice and their own way of going about adjusting to the wait. Thats when this quote popped up from an Indian woman from one of the email lists I subscribe to. It goes like this...

Sunno sabki, karo apne manki

which literally means "Listen to everybody, do what your heart wants". Unfortunately, our hearts want us to come and get you right now!

By the way, you now have a baby jogger...in the box with the reciept taped on top :)

Confucious Says...

I've been carrying these tattered fortunes in my wallet for the past few months. They are from a wonderful little restaurant called Mike's Mandarin Kitchen, where we hold our business meetings.

I decided to add them today because we are now officially in the top 10 on the waiting list! So maybe, just maybe, these fortunes will come true. The winter months have always been lucky for us, having been married on December 3rd...18 years this year! AND we are more than ready to hear pleasant news of a personal nature!

We also spurged for Impulse Buy #3! We own a baby jogger. Costco comes through once again. Slowly, but surely, there are signs that a baby may someday enter our home!

Shopping in the Baby Aisle!

Jynger, the director of the India program at Dillon, let us know that she was going to India. She was going to be meeting with Ms. Roy to go over the new adoption guidelines (like the new age requirements etc.). She mentioned that the orphanage was in need of some items if anyone would like to make a donation.

An excuse to shop in a baby aisle!! I was all over it. I picked up a few items on the list: crib sheets, plastic pants, and newborn nipples. Pat and I mailed off the items on Saturday and then headed down the street for a coffee at Art-n-Soul, one of our weekend hangouts. As we sipped our lattes, we were both day dreaming about you. Wouldn't it be neat if you got to use the items we sent? We imagined you laying on the mint green sheets or scooting around in the cute little pink flowered plastic pants. I guess that is something we will never know, but it is fun to imagine it!

Jynger will be home (to Tulsa) on July 5th. I hope she brings good news for those of us awaiting a referral. I hope, I hope!

Baby Wellness 101

We were on the road at 5:30 am on June 10, 2006 headed toward Portland, Oregon for an International Adoption Baby Wellness class.(Grande Starbucks in hand!) Neither one of knew what to expect, but were anxious to gather information about babies in our attempt at being prepared. The class was sponsored by The Northwest Adoptive Familes Association and was being held at Legacy Emanuel Hospital.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a couple of NAFA members. They escorted us to a table full of anatomically correct baby dolls. Pat was instructed to pick out his daughter and then diaper and dress her. Before we knew what was happening, this infant was put into a front loading baby carrier and strapped to Pat's chest. "She is your responsibility for the rest of the day", we were told, "try out the restroom and caferteria with a front loader, you'll need the experience." Pat, bless his heart, was such a good sport!

The day consisted of videos, lectures, slides and even a live demonstration of proper bathing techniques taught by an RN that works in the NICU at the hospital. Our bathing model was a boy from Korea who had been with his forever family for just 2 weeks and who was cute as a button.

We learned all kinds of information and met some very nice people, including 30 parents-to-be, just like us...waiting. Meeting these people left a lasting impression on both of us. We realized that our story is not much different than other adoptive parents, although we were the only couple waiting for an Indian princess :)! There were a couple of families, in particular, who are waiting for children from Guatemala. Their story was heart wrenching...they have had their referrals since these children were days old and almost a year later, only have a picture to hold of a child that experiences new things everyday without them. I pray that we will not experience these kinds of delays.

The day concluded with an adoptive adult telling her story of adoption from her birth country–China. It was a moving story about growing up in a rural part of Idaho where no one looked like her. A wonderful way to leave the day...wondering about how you will see your new world...through your eyes!

Cooking II

I've advanced! I just completed a hands-on class for Indian cooking. This time we learned how to prepare another curry dish, mango lassis, puri bread, samosas and a dessert. Again, all yummy. I hope that I learn to make a dish that we can serve for birthdays or special occassions. A new tradition!

Sumitra, the chef, took some time after the class to share with a few us the proper way to eat with one's fingers. She showed us to cup our fingers and use our thumb as a scoop to sort of shovel the food into your mouth without actually having to put your fingers IN your mouth. She also told us about how good Indian food tastes when eaten off of banana leaves!

I have so enjoyed learning about the Indian culture. I hope our daughter(s) enjoy it too. It is part of why we chose International Adoption; so we can learn about another culture together.

We have also started gathering some children's books about India, some in the Bengali language. I guess we better get crackin' starting to learn some of this stuff ;)

Impulse Buy #2?

Britax never goes on sale..but they did! It must be a sign. We bought our first important purchase. A carseat! Because of the age upset, we are a little leary of something happening wrong, so it sits in the box in the closet with the receipt taped to the top :)

I also joined the Dillon forum to try and keep up with what is going on with the other people who are on the waiting list. It is a good and bad thing. It is fun to listen to other people's adoption stories, but it makes waiting kinda hard...there are so many families in front of us. I am determined not to get bummed, but use this site as a tool for gathering information for when it becomes our turn. The pictures of all the dear little ones just makes your heart ache wondering if our little one is born and waiting for us to find her? All in good time...