School Daze...and more!

 

Adjusting to Kindergarten was a long process for Devi. Though academics came pretty easily to her, focusing on schoolwork in a classroom setting with all the rules that apply were a bit harder to master. So it was a year of trial and error for her, finding her place, managing her time, controlling her behavior and figuring out how to get the attention of one teacher for all the RIGHT reasons. A flashback to instincts honed during orphanage living? All the children vying for the positive or negative attention of one? Perhaps, but we will never know for sure. What I do know and will never forget, is the proud look on Devi’s face and ours when Mr. Stanley announced her name at a school assembly selecting her for “Outstanding Student Achievement in Academics”, (with good behavior) recognition she had worked hard all year to achieve.

  

So eager to be going to a big school like sissy, Treya has been working hard as well, accomplishing her name. She can spell it out loud and now has mastered the shapes of the drawn letters as well. Treya has made huge strides in her speech therapy sessions too, successfully pronouncing several sets of sounds (f, v, s, sh, l)  that until recently had proved difficult for her. She is delighted that people outside of our family can finally begin to understand her, which has improved her conversational speech dramatically. 

And while we are on the subject of challenges, I took on one myself, learning to use fondant on a cake for the first time. This cake was an "I spy" cake that I donated to Devi's school's cake walk carnival night. It was really fun to do, though both girls were disappointed that at the end of the evening it was not coming home with us!

 

 

That about wrapped up our school year, so now to bring the blog a bit more up to date...a photo montage of the events that followed.

 

In those few minutes between spring and summer comes our annual Jr. Daffodil parade. With the weather still questionable at this time of year, we managed a somewhat sunny day to enjoy the floats and yes...princesses! who so graciously posed with our girls again this year, reminding them to do their best in school to one day be a daffodil princess too.

Who wouldn't gladly accept some extra loving on Mother's day? Certainly not me!

Thrilled to have Devi request my presence as a chaperone on her first field trip, and realizing that I am still cool in her book for a little longer, I gladly took the day off from work to join the fun. I have sort of dreamed of accompanying my kids on trips like these, and it was everything I had ever hoped for. Pouring rain during the mostly outdoor excursion to the zoo corralling 23 kindergarteners, each trying to display their best behavior, but bursting with excitement to tell "Mrs. Devi's mom" about touching sting rays, seeing a baby spotted leopard, and enjoying a sack lunch packed with special things just for this long awaited trip. Devi was enthralled with feeding the Budgies!

 

What do you do on a rainy day? We play pirates!

 

Daddy enjoyed his extra loving on Father's day too!

The girls were ecstatic when they found out their cousin Lina was coming to Washington! The two high-lights were a really sleep over where Devi gave up her bed to her cousin and all three girls slept in the same room. A first for our two girly girls, I thought for sure, I would be breaking it up after an hour or so. I was amazed that they actually went to sleep....almost on time. 

Days before Lina's arrival, Dee and Trey decided they needed a tea party, busying themselves making place cards for the seating arrangement and selecting the menu. Mini cupcakes, fruit, goldfish and pretzels were served with strawberry lemonade the perfect pairing. Lina was a very gracious guest of honor playing along with the girls, which totally made their day. Oh...no grown ups were allowed!

And, if I haven't mentioned Bengal in awhile, well he is doing great, but now that he has grown to where his head can comfortably lay on the kitchen counter, he has become the counter surfer who is both clever and cunning. To date he has consumed bags of fresh made cookies from our neighbor, a whole loaf of french bread, muffins, countless leftover sausages, 6 raw chicken breasts and a half of a pizza...twice! Somehow, he does manage some self control, leaving the fruit bowl untouched. Such a good boy!

Refueling...on Spring Break!

 Spring Break in Mexico!

After a bit of a hiatus, I am back. The reason? Well, it was really a series of unfortunate events that lead to the break and not the lack of things to share. Close friends can attest to the fact that I am rarely at a loss for words. The problem began when my iphoto library went kaput on my mac.  What is a post without photos? My own fault really, because when talking about memory, it is an intangible thing that seems vast and plentiful, unlike an open refrigerator, where one glance reveals an obvious trip to the grocery is in order to replenish something.  When the machine’s memory is gone, so are all things you’ve asked it to remember.  Lesson learned...never ignore the polite messages reminding you that your start up disk is getting full (said while slapping the back of my own hand).

Secondly, I never realized how difficult (read time consuming) it would be to make it through kindergarten! Gone is nap time, finger painting and eating a two peanut snack at a snail’s pace. All of those memories from my childhood have been replaced with Devi’s full day classes, book club, writing homework, science experiments, not to mention all the extra curricular activities that take place after school. After recovering from the shock of this first-child-in-school adjustment - just when I thought I had hit my stride - these events: teacher appreciation WEEK, carnival, auction, jog-a-thon, crazy week, field day, book fair...and the list goes on, began to accelerate right up to the end of the year. 

Devi, our most seasoned traveler, had a few “firsts” she wanted to accomplish this trip, while Treya our little echo, was game for whatever big sister wanted. That makes things easy for mom and dad, until Treya realized what big sister was getting her into! First on Dee’s list? The signature hair style of corn-row braids with beads, which Devi thought was the perfect souvenir to wear into the classroom to show her friends at the end of break. For Treya, this meant sitting still for a long time, while someone fiddled with her hair - two of her least favorite things. Though she had an anxious look on her face the entire time, she was a trooper, tag teamed by two women to get the job done quickly. Both girls were delighted with the results, their new “dos” putting a spring in their step. 

Daddy surprised us girls with a trip to the spa for pedicures, while he....ahem....guarded our loungers by the pool! Another first, the girls were fascinated by the whole idea of being pampered in this way, carefully selecting two colors of polish - silver and orange - and requesting polka-dots! Another test in patience for Treya, her feet were soaked, nails were trimmed and her three toenails were painted and dry in a jiffy. Devi was delighted as well, thrilled that her open-toed sandals showed off her freshly decorated tootsies. 

 Treya masters chopsticks at Zen restaurant

 Devi tries the filet at Ipanema restaurant

Slated as my early 50th birthday get-away, (good heavens, can I really be THAT old?) I indulged in a wonderful massage, we managed to dine at all the restaurants on the resort and saw a number of the nightly shows. Michael Jackson night - was the highlight for the girls as they munched popcorn and continually asked me if the guy dancing around the stage was really him? Because we traveled on Easter, I  had craftily hidden plastic treasured-filled eggs in my luggage for an egg hunt that Pat and I managed to arrange for the girls. A very confused French couple watched from afar, our language barrier making it too difficult to explain why we were encouraging our girls to traipse through the bushes of the immaculate gardens. As always we met lovely people, two couples we befriended were from Canada. One of the gentleman was nick named Mr. Piggy and actually requested our girls to call him by that name. For two young girls how fun is that?

Our little dancers!

 

Shock of the trip? Treya will now let her feet touch sand.

 Treya had a fever for two days of the trip, but

it didn't seem to slow her down one bit!

As always our week flies by in an instant it seems, much like my absence from the blog. If you’ve managed to read all the way to the bottom of this, let me just say thanks. So many of you mentioned that you were tired of opening  “A Princess...” to find Treya still holding up those shoes! Others said they have missed watching the girls grow and change. I’ve missed sharing our story and it warms my heart to know that so many are still interested.  Isn’t it true, though?  Watching a child blossom can be so captivating! Now, playing catch up, on to the next post and preparing for first grade! HOLA!

Growing Right Out Of Her Shoes

For the past 2 years Treya has been wearing Ponsetti shoes at night to help correct her clubfeet. During that time she rarely complained about wearing them. In fact, at times the routine of wearing her shoes seemed to bring her comfort.  We have cut the feet out of many a pair of footed pajamas during that time, arranged her bed so that she could sleep with just a light weight blanket over her or no blanket at all to keep from getting the connecting bar all tangled in sheets, and have carried her to the bathroom in the middle of the night with one eye open on many an occasion. Outside of a night here or there with growing pains, at no point during this time did she have issues over wearing the shoes. They even made two trips to Mexico with us. Treya has been a trooper through all of it. 

But as the days leading up to her latest foot appointment at Chrildren’s Hospital ticked away, Treya’s patience had grown thin. Every night she had an itch between her toes, her legs hurt, her socks were bunched up, the shoes were too tight or one of countless other maladies were ailing her. At 4 years of age, the bones in one’s feet solidify so this is the cut off point for this form of therapy - a fact we've all known throughout the process. We were all hoping we could kiss those blue suede shoes goodbye, but none more than Treya. (By the way, they really are blue suede!)

Dr. Mosca was extremely pleased with the angle in which she can bend both feet, how her feet support her body weight when she walks, and the fact that she can hop on one of her legs. So having passed all those tests, he declared her a boot with bars graduate! Treya cheered, fist bumped and gave high fives to the doctor and he presented her with a certificate of completion. Though we still will make six month visits, no more shoes need to be worn at night! Whoo Hoo!

Treya couldn’t wait to wear footy pajamas that night and dashed upstairs to change the moment we returned from our celebratory dinner out...with durt (Treya’s word for dessert). She also slept under her covers for the first time AND took herself to the bathroom in the middle of the night...not because she HAD to go, but that she COULD. Night time has taken on a whole new kind of excitement with our new and improved routine. Both girls are ready to hit the sheets in no time and sleep usually follows 5 minutes after lights out. No longer do we find Treya in odd and compromising positions that look so uncomfortable that sleep seemed impossible. Instead she has reverted to that incredibly tight face down ball with legs crossed beneath her, reminiscent of when she first joined our family.

Treya’s communication skills have improved as well and with it has come the Treya twist on discovering the world around her. She is obsessed with driving a car. Leaning way over in her car seat, she is able to see through the windshield, announcing EVERY TIME the car in front of us has applied the brake pedal or the gas pedal. She also gives driving advice to me as I drive, such as red light coming, green light now, slow down - brake, speed up - gas. All of this help comes free of charge.

She also has had a lengthy conversation with me about wanting her own live baby, claiming that she is ready. I asked her who would take care of her baby and she said that she wanted to dress it and feed it, but when she is in preschool daddy and I could care for her baby. I immediately set her straight on that point and then asked who her husband was going to be, because he should help to care for their baby. After explaining that her first choice of daddy was all ready taken, she said, "no husband" to which I said yes, she needed a husband. Then she said, “husband does not matter, any boy”. I don’t know if this is cause for concern yet or not, but we will definitely expand on THAT conversation.

And while on the subject of babies, Devi’s class has been studying the human body. It is not uncommon for her to be in constant jabber mode, listing the name of all the bones or commenting on how there is actually acid in your stomach with arms that grab your food or some other remarkably fascinating body fact. In her ramblings the other day she also threw in, “ oh... and mom...did you know that babies don’t always get cut out of a momma’s belly? Sometimes they come out of a hole, but I don’t remember which one. How DO they come out”.  That sparked a long conversation about how a momma’s hips widen to make room for when the baby is ready to be born. After about 20, “Yes, but how?” questions she said, “Oh! just like an orchestra, the mommy and baby work together!” Well....yes, I guess they do.

With childhood obesity so prominent these days, we’ve found that our kids get informed at school as well as home. The girls have been all interested in how I plan a meal, helping to decide what goes on their plates - protein, carbohydrates, vegetables and fruit. We DO have dessert in our house every night, but the kids think dessert is yogurt or fruit and occasionally a sweet treat. After Valentine’s day, Treya had a piece or two of candy from school.  When I asked Treya what she would like for dessert she said, “I choose yogrette for durt, cause candy not healthy.”  and on another occasion answered, “No durt, I so full my brain is hurting.”  I guess that is pretty darned full!

 Moments before...

Lastly, there is the dog. With all this talk about feet, I have to mention his latest mishap. Though you would have thought he was dying when it happened, he managed to break a toe. Poor baby. After 8 weeks of healing time we hear he will be good as new!

 $500 later!

My Perfect Meal!

When I consider my loves on this Valentine’s day, I am joyful. I have a wonderful husband, who appreciates me in ways that no other could possibly find appealing. He enjoys from me, the way I fret, the peculiar phrases I make up, my mispronounced words or the grimaces I give him when he is driving me crazy....when frustration that borders fury turns to laughter and a cracked smile. 

Then there is the love/hate debate that I have over some of his habits like leaving the door to the dishwasher down, or the fact that there are stacks of clothes in the closet, but our dresser remains empty, or that our counters are always full of crumbs even after he is done cleaning the kitchen. The best is the familiar fffffwwaapp, fwap, fwap, fwap sound that the plastic bread sack makes when he slaps it’s side, causing the bag to spin and twist holding in the bread’s freshness. I know at that moment that I don’t even need look up - knowing with both his hands occupied, a multigrain slice will be hanging tightly in his mouth. There is something oddly comforting that comes with that kind of predictability. We’ve reached that point after 24 and a half years married that sometimes our hurried words with kids at our feet just lead to a furrowed brow and further miscommunication, but other times in just a glance we can have a whole conversation.

Taking my hubs and adding my two little lovelies is like the delicate pairing of wine and food that enhances one’s culinary enjoyment. Where Pat is my intoxicant (I was smitten by him from the beginning), the girls are my savory. They are both piquantly pleasant to my mind, forever stimulating our conversations with acutely curious observations and worldly wisdom as seen through their youthful eyes of wonder.

In the spray of water from our two shower heads the other day, Devi and I were soaping up she pointed to her belly button and said...
“Momma, I know what this is.” I said, “Of course you do, silly, it is your belly button - your beboh!”
“No, it is where my unbilipal cord hooked me to my real momma.”
“Well, sweetie, you are right, it IS where your umbilical cord hooked you to your birth mother, but when you say REAL momma, your birth mother and I are both REAL mommas. Remember, birth mother or tummy momma means that she is the one that grew you in her tummy. I really wish I could have grown you in MY tummy, but I couldn’t.”
“Well, your unbilipal cord is blue and green and all wrinkly.”
“How do you know? Have you seen pictures of one or something?”
“Yes, Mr. Stanley showed us. It works like a straw so that I could suck food and stuff from my tummy momma.”
“Oh, I see. Do you have any other questions about your umbilical cord?”
“No.”
Long pause...
“Mom?”
“Yes pumpkin pie...”
“I’m glad you could not grow me in your tummy.”
“Why is that?”
“Because then when you came for me, it was really the first time you ever saw me!”
“Well, then I guess I am glad too!”

Devi has been learning about Native American Indians. She is fascinated by the fact that though she is an Indian...she is not a Native American one - she is a South Asian Indian.  She also LOVES the planets. After learning that Mars could sustain life, she has decided she would like to be the first one there. Last weekend was spent on a science experiment  trying to create the conditions on Mars. So she made her own "polar icecaps". Devi took a bowl of water and placed it in the freezer...she added red food coloring to make in look more like Mars AND gold fish that became the "rocks" and cheerios that became the "asteroids". She was completely thrilled with the result! I love how inquisitive she has become and will never tire of watching the fascination that overcomes her face with the joy of learning something new.
 
If titles were given to family members, Treya’s would be Executive Assistant or Assistant to the Director. She would be the one who hands the head of the household their perfectly brewed coffee moments before they ask. She keeps track of the daily schedule, with planned events and location committed to memory, forever telling me, "I memburin" you, momma." This meaning I am reminding you. 

Up until recently, Treya's conversations have been mostly about what she wants or needs, but lately we have noticed a new depth to them. Her curiosity has become more keenly aware of the world around her. As we were driving along the waterfront recently she was watching some birds fly very close to the water and she asked, "Momma, are dher dissies [fishies] down dher?
"Yes!", I said. 
"Well are dhey gonna eat dows birdies?" 
"No sweetie, I think those birds are going to eat the fishies for lunch."
"Dows birdies like fishies or not?"
"Yes, they do."
Realizing what the birds were flying low looking for food, she shook her head and said, "Oh man. Poor dissies."

Yesterday when I was putting Treya in her car seat after preschool, she pulled a penny out of her pocket. She pointed to the face on the front and said, "Momma, dhat guy is hadding a burtday! Ms. Shannon say he tall wit a bured [beard]." So excited that her conversations have become so full of wonderful learned facts and bits of trivia. It is so fun to witness her learning and I soak up each and every conversation!

The last of my loves, though not pictured, is Bengal the dog. I'll call him the dessert. A counter surfer, he steals my meals right out from under my nose (6 raw chicken breasts) without so much as a sound, a spilled drop or footprint. He loves to be chased, though at 40 mph who is fooling who? A hassle at times, his all-4-paws-up-in-the-air favorite sleeping position brings a smile every time. He is definitely just one of the family who wants to be with us all the time. I suppose that is why he joined us last Friday night...in the shower! Yes, all 5 of us at once, in the shower, together...with soap! 
 

At times it seems that the fast pace of life keeps me from truly appreciating all these wonderful little things about all of my loves. I cannot think of a finer time than Valentine's day to stop, pause and consider each of mine. Happy Valentine's day - mine is delicious!

All Girls Momma...Again!

 
 Princess Treya turns 4!

Through eyes glued shut from cold season goop, our birthday girl struggled to see the house that had undergone a royal transformation in the night. Peering down over the second floor railing into our family room, she spied the Ross castle with turrets, flag and flowers forever in bloom, and in pj's, with her head still perched on my shoulder said, “Cool!”

For the weeks preceding the party, Treya had been reciting the guest list trying to remember all of her little princess friends who were coming. It was so cute to watch her count each child on her fingers, so tense and serious about just who would be arriving. True to form, she reminded me “...all girls momma, no boys” just as her sister did 2 short years ago. She even told Aunt Joan, that Uncle Bill was not allowed because HE was a boy too.

Dressed in princess finery, Treya managed to sit still long enough for me to complete her first up-do. A huge bun of curls, held in place with lots of pins and about 6 pounds of hairspray, was encircled with a crown right on top of her head. She beamed. 

One by one the guests, each wearing gowns full of sparkles, glitter and poofs, arrived and were escorted into the craft area for wand making and princess coloring. Once they were all warmed up we began our party, learning the attributes required to be a real princess.

 
First they showed “friendship” by holding hands for a large group picture. This feat earned each girl a gold foil wrapped coin to put into their monogrammed wristlet bag. Next they showed “bravery” by tossing apples into the hands of a hungry dragon who sat a few feet away, earning another gold coin to add to their bags. “Grace” was demonstrated as the nine little princesses flitted about, dancing to princess music with scarves, who were incredibly light on their feet, earning their third coin. I even got the mother’s involved in this one. There were no wall flowers allowed at this party!

 

 

Next, the girls learned “Hope” as each blindfolded princess taped a paper set of sticky lips on our frog, in the hopes that one lucky princess would turn him into a prince, but there was no such luck. So collectively we closed our eyes and waved the wands we had made and said, “Bibbity boppity boo!” Low and behold, when we opened our eyes the frog had vanished and in his place sat royalty. Our Prince daddy sat on the throne, which brought gasps and giggles from our surprised guests. He passed out the next coin.

Prince daddy read Princess Bess Gets Dressed to our guests while lunch was prepared. The girls used “Manners” and discussed those special words we use at the table while dining on castle shaped PB&Js, magic wand fruit kabobs, Ritzy crackers, veggies and dip and Treya’s favorite....chicken nuggets. This attribute earned them their last coin to add to their bags. 

With a me-me-mes, all voices were warmed up as we sang a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday to Treya, who in her excitement covered her open mouth of surprise with both hands. We first saw this trait of Trey’s a few days after meeting her in India. Knocking down towers of stacking blocks brought on this reaction, which were the first real smiles we ever witnessed from her. Knowing exactly what to do this year, it took her three great breaths to blow out all four candles on the cupcakes that surrounded the purple princess doll cake. It was beautiful, just like Treya herself,but unfortunately the front had been sampled by the dog before the party began. Luckily, it only took a spatula and few extra sprinkles and some curly ribbon to make the repair. The dog was banished to the dungeon!

While gifts were opened, all of Treya’s friends played in the table top castle with the puppets. Somehow our whole play kitchen full of gadgetry managed to end up in there as well. Treya would open a gift and then go find which child to thank, by sticking her big hair head into the windows of the castle. It was so cute. As the party ended, each girl showed me their wrist bag of coins, proving they had completed all the princess tasks, which earned them a happily ever after bag of goodies to take home with them.

The party was the icing on the cake of a nearly full week of celebration. Treya’s birthday actually fell on Monday the 21st. By coincidence, Treya’s VIP week at preschool fell on the same week as her birthday, so she got to bring treats to school and a poster of pictures that told all about her. She also got to do show and tell every day of the week bringing in something special to show to the class, every single day. And as always, Uncle Tim (a family friend) brought his annual bouquet of flowers! She got the royal treatment all week long!

Typically we let the girls choose the restaurant for their birthday dinner, which really is about which restaurant sings to you and has the best dessert, but this year we chose the RAM for Treya. Two weeks prior to the big day, I had received a phone call that her name had been chosen as the winner of a summer drawing she had entered. Pat, Devi and I were the only ones in the know when we took our seats right in the middle of the restaurant so everyone could see us. Near the end of our meal, the manager came asking for Treya. Treya played right into the woman’s plan holding up four fingers and announcing it was her birthday. Donna said, “Treya, I think I have something that belongs to you.” A few moments later, out she came stopping in front of our table. Treya looked completely baffled, so I leaned over to her and said, “I think this is for you. It is all yours!” There in front of her, practically glowing, was a brand new pink princess bike, with heart shaped pedals and balloons tied to the handle bars. Treya’s eyes got as big as saucers, she gasped and completely lost all breath. She leaped up and hugged the manager around the legs and then climbed aboard her new bike. Then she jumped off and went and hugged the woman’s legs again. It took her awhile to realize that this bike was all hers, as she kept thinking it was for her and Devi to share.  It was priceless.

So with new bike in the garage, a pile of presents still to be discovered, and a kitchen table castle still filling my family room, our Treya has successfully had her second birthday party and has turned 4. We love you princess Treya! Happy Birthday!!

Our Child Within A Child

2nd Forever Family Day - 2013

 1st Forever Family Day - 2012

 The day we became a family - January 21st, 2011

Like many adoptive mother’s, I try to keep my fingers on the pulse of the adoption world, as it is one of my favorite subjects with which to bend one’s ear. For most of the past year; however, the news has been less than positive as the stories of families joined have been few and far between, with nothing but longer wait times in sight for friends in progress. Recently, a few friends have taken steps forward, with one or two even seeing the first glimpses of the children that will one day join their own families and another one or two families who have actually traveled to their children. This warms my heart and sends me back to that day for us two years ago when our Treya joined our family forever.

I can hardly remember that timid girl we first met. The one who would run from us wearing clumsy leg braces that clearly did nothing but slow her down. She was adorable with a cute little pot belly that pushed out, arching her back and tucking her square chin. Her skin was so powdered, her complexion was more fair than mine. How I longed to just pick her up and snuggle her, but quite clearly, we had entered her perfectly happy and content world all ready in progress and her needs were all ready being met. She was stoic, hardly spoke and interacted with no other children. Her time was spent with the ayahs that cared deeply for her. I vividly remember the sadness that overcame me when I asked who shared a crib with Sonalika at night. The response was “With anyone. She has no connection to anyone else.” Sonalika got pleasure from the order of things, putting things away, showing where she slept, or the organization in how a meal was served. Her spot was beside whomever was hand feeding the finger fulls of rice.When she was full, unlike the others who kept seated at the table, she would get up and walk away. It was evident that she didn’t see the point in playing, because working in the kitchen or folding clothes in the back room was far more resourceful - this being one of the only personality traits she has kept from her young life.

Comparing that with the changes and growth we have seen in Treya in two short years is astounding. When I stare into her forever smiling face, I can hardly believe she is the same child. Occasionally, I find myself staring at this beautiful little girl and see so little that is reminiscent of the child we met. Even her cute Indian head bobble is gone. This reminds me of something I read in an adoption book that said to expect to see the biggest jumps in growth when a child has been with their family longer than they lived in an orphanage. Today, we cross that milestone, as Treya turns 4 and has now spent half of her life with us. In this first month of the new year alone we have watched our pudgy baby blossom into a lanky little girl.

Treya decided she is too old for Pull-Ups. We’ve left her in them because she does have an occasional accident, and can not get up out of bed at night due to the corrective shoes she wears to bed. “I a big gurwl, momma!” Yes, sweetie you are, so away they went. The bed rails? Gone. This one was frightening because she is a prize fighter in bed typically, but to date has not fallen out once. Treya has nearly mastered hopping on one foot, a true accomplishment, when you consider that two years ago she fell often and could not run or jump. She has moved from her baby car seat to a toddler car seat with a cup holder (a very grown up accessory) and she can clip some of the restraints herself. Once silent, now she LOVES to sing and has taken to singing her own lullaby to herself at night while we listen. The words are a jumbled mess with a contagious giggle breaking through from time to time, but the tune is recognizable. You know that when she is singing, she truly adores herself. She has gone from being a righty to becoming a lefty, due to surgery and yesterday, beaming with pride, wrote her name for the first time unassisted! Her lefty scissors are a prized possession by the way.

Though speech proves to still be difficult, she manages to get her message across eventually. Once a woman of few words, she now has a lot to say, often starting over again and again to make sure she is telling the entire story in order. She has two favorite phrases. One is “Here's the deal...” then she starts her speech, but because she is a bit of a copycat, often times she will repeat what you’ve just said, truly believing it was her independent thought, making it difficult not to chuckle under one’s breath. Easily confused by sarcasm and how quickly we all change from subject to subject she also gives small summaries to ensure she is keeping up with what is said. Ninety percent of her sentences begin with “SO” (she says Dough) her second favorite phrase. Treya always addresses the person she is speaking with by saying their name after each sentence. If you don’t acknowledge her, she will continue to say your name until she is certain she has your full attention before moving on with what she wanted to share. This alone can make conversations go sideways or she will forget what she was going to say while she waits for your acknowledgement. In her flustered state she will just say “I love you”. I guess that is way better answer than I forgot what I was going to say!

Jam packed with celebration this week, we’ve tested poor Treya’s limits of comprehension. Not only does her Forever Family Day and Birthday fall on the same day, but she is also coincidentally the VIP at preschool this week AND her princess party with friends is this coming Sunday. Because of this, we celebrated her forever family day on the day we first met (the 19th), rather than when she left the orphanage with us on her birthday.

I cooked an Indian feast of some of Treya’s favorite dishes. Pickles!!! She loves Indian pickles. Paneer!!! Yes, I made and served Indian cheese. Rice!!! True since the day we met, the girl adores her basmati rice. I will never forget watching her stand and cry at the room service cart after dinner one night while we were still in India, trying desperately to see what she wanted. It was the rice. She cleaned up every last grain on the plate every time. And the reason for the multiple exclamation points on those words? Our once silent child is actually very very loud! Both Pat and I are constantly reminding her she only needs to speak loudly enough for the person she is talking with to hear. The neighbors down the street don’t care to know what she is talking about. 

Channa Masala

 

Muttar Paneer

In addition to the our savory meal, we lit a special candle in Treya’s honor and we snuggled up on the couch to peer through the pages of her Life book together. Laughing at her tiny and crooked foot prints, a photo of her wrinkly face at 6 days old, and the lock of hair collected from her first hair cut, we marveled at the changes in everything about her.  Our once emotionless girl, now boils over with compassion for others, she is quick to say she is sorry and to comfort anyone who is in need. Those sink-into-me snuggles I longed for so desperately two years ago, though she made me work for it, are freely given and were so worth the wait. I will never tire of her weight in my lap, our arms around each other with her fingers intertwined with mine. I love to breathe in the scent of her hair and dot her broad forehead with kisses,  which are usually met with her protests and giggles. That forehead is simply irresistible.

Though the day started out very confusing for her, by it’s end, I think she finally understood why we were celebrating. Treya Marie Sonalika Ross, you are our miracle. A child within a child, that just needed a little coaxing to come out. Happy Second Forever Family Day. We love you jelly bean!!! This I hope the neighbors down the street DO hear!

Random Acts of Kindness

About a week before Christmas, I was sitting on the couch, busy addressing envelopes, watching a Christmas hallmark television program. Devi, still sleepy-eyed and warm from napping, quietly made her way down the stairs, her pokey wrapped thumb still stuck in her mouth, and curled up next to me as I worked.

A St. Jude commercial came on with Jennifer Aniston talking to two young girls. The girls were bald from the side effects of the chemotherapy they were receiving. They talked about how nice it would be to get well and not have cancer anymore and to have hair again. Not new to the word cancer, it never occurred to Devi that this disease could effect young people just like her. This sparked a conversation between Dev and I about their illness and hair loss and she decided she would like to help them. 

the BEFORE

 

So, the day after Christmas I took her to her first salon and she explained to Cherlym, the stylist, that she hoped to donate her hair to Locks of Love for these sick young girls. After a quick washing her beautiful wavy black hair was combed straight. Cherlym, pulled Devi’s hair into a ponytail and measured it to ensure she had the required 10+ inches to takes for donation. Devi had hoped that her hair would still be over her shoulders but, we found that in order to have the length required, it would have to be shorter than she’d hoped. A big decision - she decided that she would much rather donate it then to keep it for herself.

With that, the stylist took her scissors and began to cut through the thick rope-like ponytail, over two inches in diameter. At this point I was not sure what was going to happen. Devi can be a bit of a drama queen so I could really envision this scenario going one of two ways; complete breakdown with tears was what I was hoping to avoid. Rising to the occasion, a broad grin filled her face as she watched the reflection in the mirror she faced as the last few strands were cut through releasing the pony tail from the nape of her neck.  After blow drying, Devi was admiring herself in a hand held mirror and I asked if she liked her new look. She replied, “Nope, I don’t like it....I LOVE it!”  Now days later, her chopped ponytail is finally dry and we can send it off.

the AFTER

After Christmas the four of us decided it was time to go through the playroom and donate some of the toys that we no longer play with. Typically, I have total support until I pick up the first item for inspection and then find that no one can manage to part with a thing. Everything seems to be special, or came from someone special, or reminds them of a special time (I type this while rolling my eyes). This time; however, Treya, in “matching donation” style decided if she couldn’t donate her hair, she would donate toys.

I soon realized that she did not quite understand the whole concept that once something is put in the donation box, it does not come back out. At the rate she was going her room would be empty with not so much as a bed left in it, but at the time she was feeling really good about these decisions. So we back pedaled a bit, and together made some better choices, filling more than one box of items to be loved on by someone else AND we packed a few things away as keepsakes. 

With the last of the "TREES" eaten, I have one final RAOK. It is a secret. I received a phone call yesterday that Treya’s name was chosen in a drawing and she has won a bicycle! They called to chat with me about her favorite color and character so they can choose just the right one for her. I know she will be thrilled beyond words about this, especially since her birthday is in two short weeks!