The Eery Silence

Unique in size and shape as a snowflake, our fingerprints, yet again had to be recorded with the United States Citizen and Immigration Office. Do they change in appearance? It seems strange that the imprint of the circular pattern on the end of each of my digits has an expiration date, but they do.

I’ve lost count how many times we have had to run this gauntlet, but each time, we are surprised by what we find.

The first time, we were herded like cattle, with a crowd adorned in colorful clothing and languages representing many countries. This time, we arrived to an empty parking lot. Even with ample spaces available, however we had to shell out the 7 bucks to park. The entrance, where there would normally be a line was vacant and the guards made idle chit-chat as we passed through the scanners, as if, after a long silence, they were glad to have someone

to talk with.

The corral of a waiting room was deserted. Two others waited lazily in a sea of empty chairs. That was it! The only service being provided that day was fingerprinting, which perhaps had something to do with the eerily quite atmosphere. The newspaper and books we had brought for entertainment to while away the hours, became useless

cargo. In past visits to this office, we would day dream about our daughters, where they were, what they might be doing and realizing that we were spending our day here, just for them. There wasn’t idle time for daydreaming today.

Spraying a cleaner on my hand and rolling each digit gently across a glass window for scanning, my unique set of finger tip swirls was digitized and saved. We chatted with the examiner, who recognized me because of my hair, as he had taken my fingerprints last year. He commented that I have nice prints, an odd compliment, but I’ll take it! Just that quick, we were done.

The other eery quiet we are experiencing is on the adoption front. We know that our representative is back in the states, most likely wading through a sea of work in her office and suffering from extreme jet lag. Meanwhile we are anxiously awaiting news of our baby girl, whom she held and hopefully photographed. It is times like these that my thoughts and imagination can take over, rendering me useless in rest of my everyday life. I know the information will come in due time and Pat, Devi and I will savor it, like a fine wine or decadent chocolate dessert.

Just as an expectant mother scours an ultrasound, so does an adoptive mom eye every pixel in each new photograph received, looking for a bit of insight into her waiting child’s personality. I recall these times when we were discovering Devi – they have now begun for Treya. We are all learning her.

UPDATE: Before this could be posted, these 2 wonderfully cherished photographs arrived in my inbox. Although we had hoped to see her smile, the email message attached said that she was so tired, caught right before her nap and did not want anything to do with a camera. This expectant momma will read that as....she is on a good routine and is a good sleeper :)

As the three of us felt the full impact of these photos, these are the random comments that were uttered...

Mom: Poor Baby...I just want to hug her

Dad: Look at that receding hairline...such a sweet baby girl

Devi: Why does she look so mad?

Mom: She is not mad, she is sleepy, because it was her nap time. How do you feel before your naps?

Devi: (giggling) I am ALWAYS happy before my nap!

Dad: Wispy eyebrows!

Mom: She looks so grown up...

Devi: No mom, she is a baby and I will take care of her.

In my own eery silence, I am feeling nervous. Just wishing that we could have her home, helping her to feel secure, for me to feel secure and begin this new chapter in all of our lives. Can we manage two children? Are we doing right by Devi and Treya? So many details we would like to know that can not be conveyed in these two photographs.

With luck, more will be revealed to us in a phone progress report that I've scheduled with Lisa on Friday. I am so excited to talk with someone who has met our Pune Princess. Lisa also mentioned a cute video that is on it's way which will bring life to our sweet dumpling.