Tub-O-Love

Treya at 13 months old

Imagine my surprise arriving at work to find this adorable tub-o-love staring back at me from my in-box!

One might wonder what expectant parents and siblings do while anxiously waiting the 6 to 8 months until a trip to India. We tend to fantasize a lot about what things will be like when we are all together and there is alot of discussion to prepare Devi for the change of events in her sweet little life, once the life of another enters in. This is one of those recent conversations.

Perched like hens warming eggs on the front porch, we each sat atop a soccer ball contemplating and clucking about what was inside each and when they may hatch. Devi said that she thought Treya was in her soccer ball egg. I commented that no, Treya was in India, but what else do you think is in India? She replied that Minnie Mouse was in India. This may not seem like that profound of a statement, but the day we picked up Devi, she was indeed holding a Minnie Mouse doll in her hands. How I kick myself now, for taking it out of her hands and leaving it there in her empty crib. As the conversation progressed, the list of things she thought were in India took on an interesting theme which included doggies because she knows there was a dog at the orphanage she came from, mommas to care for babies which I think she was referring to the ayahs who care for the children. The list continued on with diapers, wipes, bottles and sunglasses, because she knows it is hot there. I love that she, in her child like way, is painting a mental picture of where her sister is and how she is being cared for.

For the expectant mom these are the thoughts that come to mind. Treya is 13 months old now. Although we knew that our referral would be for an older child, I never thought I would pine over the lost months before we knew her as much as I am; over the milestones we did not get the chance to experience together. Yes, selfishly, some of these feelings are because I wanted these months for myself, to cuddle, to swaddle, to feel the weight of an infant in my arms, a cherub who would be totally reliant on me; void of any want for independence. Mostly, these feelings are for Treya, who will undoubtedly ask questions about her “firsts” and her story from an earlier time. Without even so much as a pictorial history to document her growth, I feel at a loss as to how to begin to put the pieces together for her. “I don’t know” is such a failing answer when your child wants desperately for you to tell her again about how she took her first wobbly steps, or what, exactly was the first word she said. What a wonderful surprise it would be to touch down in Pune and have a record book thrust into my hands, whose contents were all about her!

I suppose these feelings are weighing so heavily now, because the fear of becoming a busy mother of two has provided me the needed motivation to finally assemble our photo books from when our family was joined with Devi in 2007. Yes, sheepishly, I realize I am behind, which makes this nostalgic time seem all the more shocking and revealing. We were so fortunate to experience so much with Devi in those early months and with each snapshot in time, I am stymied by how much she has grown and changed. In fact, this last week while I was making lunch on the pulled out bread board, Devi came cruising through the kitchen and cold cocked her forehead and after we removed the ice pack and went to measure her, discovered that she had grown nearly 2 inches since her birthday in November!

Discovering Devi now measures 38 and a half inches tall

Some of our time has been spent making sure our paperwork is in order. Several of our documents are in need of updating, including our home study, which we scheduled this week. Barbara, our case worker who became a friend since pre-Devi has moved on so rather than sipping a casual cup of coffee over a conversation about our children, Pat and I actually had to clean and prepare for a true inspection of our home and have formal interviews. When our new rep arrived, Devi very dutifully unclipped the two photos of Treya from the refrigerator and brought them to the social worker explaining that these photos were of her sister. It was a spontaneous moment, as if Devi understood the importance of this woman coming to our house.

True to form, however, we did suffer an uncomfortable moment when together Devi and I spotted the UPS truck coming down the hill toward our house. Before I could distract her Devi yelled, “Here comes the beer truck!” There was an eerily quiet pregnant pause, a tense giggle and then I had to explain to the stunned looking examiner. You see, Pat is a member a microbrew beer of the month club, so every other month the UPS guy delivers a box with beer in it to our doorstep. Devi is unaware that the big brown truck delivers anything else, so whenever she sees it making deliveries on our street, she thinks he is delivering beer.

Next, she all but began digging in the woman’s purse asking if she had brought her a present and ended our meeting by announcing loudly that she had to go potty! Normally a task she can handle on her own, but on this particular day she was in leotard and tights for dance class, which still prove to be a bit tricky to man handle on one’s own. All in all, it was an informative and revealing meeting about our family, I’d say!

So these are the things that keep us busy while we wait for that wonderful day the three of us board a plane to gather the doll baby who will make our family complete. Until then, we hope each and every day to hear that “ping” only to find a new picture of our tub-o-love gracing the presence of our inbox.