Monday, April 04, 2011

A Little Mother's Love really is a 4 letter word and although it puts food on the table, and allows for a few of life's luxuries, it also means that I have to entrust the welfare of my girls to others. Gosh, I hate this part of the deal. Naturally, it is harder on me than them.

Devi is VIP at her preschool this week. She has been waiting for HER turn all year and this week the extra special duties have been bestowed upon her. Not only does she get to hold the flag for the morning pledge, but she also gets to look out the window to forecast the weather, set the table for snack time and bring in a new show and share item every day of the week that helps describe something about her. We also made a poster of photos showing her as a baby, her family, and some of the things she likes to do. She was beaming with pride over the finished product and couldn't wait to take it to school this morning.

Treya had her first full day of daycare today, following two days last week where we had a trial run for a couple of hours each day. And yes, I bawled my eyes out when she and daddy drove out of the driveway that first day. I just felt so empty. Home for only two months, I felt as though we had just started to connect - truly making that mother/daughter eye contact - needing just a couple more weeks to solidify that bond of trust.

A kind older woman cares for our Treya in her home. Grandma Nancy is experienced, soft spoken, fun and has an unbelievable home of collected toys including a pet turtle in an aquarium that even makes this grown up envious. She cares for 3 other young children and it seems to be the perfect fit for Trey. When I arrive, she asks me to come "sit" and play, not wanting to leave. On today's arrival, Treya ran to Devi, leading her by the finger to show Devi her very own cubbie that holds all of her supplies. Treya insisted that Nancy put her coat of for her, giving huge hugs and kisses as we departed.

Finding Nancy couldn't have been a nicer blessing. With splints, casts and possible surgery still in Treya's future, the flexibility of an in-home daycare, was essential. And with only a few kids, Treya is more apt to socialize; a bigger group giving her every opportunity to go play alone in a corner, much like she did in the orphanage where where she lived.

March 29th, Treya's cast was removed from her hand, revealing the birth of her new pinky finger.
It was amazing to see the transformation that had taken place beneath the casting material that encased her precious digits, holding them still for healing, ensuring good blood flow to the newly grafted skin. At first sight it was swollen and a bit crusty - "icky" according to Trey, but to the rest of us, the extension of her grasp nearly doubled in capacity and the new independent finger moved so naturally from the moment it became free.

Currently, she wears a fiberglass splint with a walled partition between her new pinky and the rest of the fingers, to avoid the tendency for those fingers to grow back together. Six weeks of wearing the splint should have things healed enough to perform the second surgery to separate the two middle fingers. This is huge, as it will not only provide a full set of five fingers, although not full length, on each hand, but also will give her a ring finger, which I hope will hold the promise of a young man's love through the bond of marriage someday.

I've mentioned before that Devi's transition through this magnificent journey has been the hardest adjustment. This week, revealed yet another piece to the difficult puzzle of her intense feelings. Turns out, she is the one who wants to be the mother figure to her little sister. You should have seen her face light up the night I asked her to give Treya her bath! Devi immediately went into action, "Momma, I'll get her jammies, and night time diaper so they are ready...and I can run the water and get the lotion and have a towel ready. I can soap her hair and I'll be careful not to get soap in her eyes...I can pick out the tub toys and brush her teeth and comb her wet hair!" Who knew? I took a stab in the dark - a new approach. Here I thought she wanted to have everything fair - even Steven - between them (which when we are talking about sweets is true). Instead she was craving responsibility and the need to be trusted where her sister's well being was concerned. With my guidance, she did it. The whole evening ritual and was so incredibly loving that I had a hard time not cracking up at my little momma in action. Yes, right down to the comments, she was a mini me!

To watch the girls' evolving relationship is fascinating. Although it is not rosy all of the time, they do play together so well, having developed their own language as a means of communicating. Together, Treya is learning to appreciate Devi's love of books, music and dancing. I guess it is of no surprise that on this day, my first day back to work spent pining for my youngest daughter, she came running and screaming for none other than DeeDee, the little mother, who received the first welcome home hug with kisses.


Jennifer said...

So glad Treya has some flexibility in her pinkie. That is great news.

Devi cracks me up. What would we do without these independent little 4 year old grown ups? :-)

Peter and Nancy said...

I'm smiling at the thought of all your words coming out of Devi's motherly mouth . . . we always have to be careful what we say, because we inevitably hear it back! I'm so glad to hear that Treya's healing well. What a blessing to find an in-home situation that's such a great fit! That always makes it a tiny bit easier to leave for work.

Sandy & Butch said...

it just makes my eyes tear up that Treya calls Devi, DeeDee! I love it!

Candice said...

So, so sweet! It made me cry to hear about Devi taking such good care of Treya! I am so glad that your little one is doing well and that the surgeries are accomplishing what they are setting out to do! Kids are such a blessing! My heart hurts too when one of mine is gone! :)