With the white noise of the vacuum cleaner giving my mind that much needed opportunity to wander, I began thinking about four years ago, which now seems like a past lifetime. We've changed so much in those 1,460 days. This Wednesday, March 23rd marks the 4th anniversary of the day that we first laid eyes on our Devi and those sweet rosebud lips of hers. It marks the day that we first realized that we would actually become parents, responsible for far more than just our own two careers, livelihood and happiness. It was the day that our minds gave permission to our hearts to fully open to give love and receive the love of another life; a life we had longed for for a very long time.
We were so consumed by "if" there would be a child back then that we never dreamed beyond that. What sort of personality would she have? Would she be smart or struggle in school? Would she be shy or outgoing? Who knew that with the passing of time, our whole world would change in such delightful, difficult and demanding ways? Reminiscing, I thought about how every aspect of our daily living has been altered to encompass the needs of this child - our Devi Rose.
Watching her candidly still takes my breath away. She is a beautiful child. From the corner of my eye, I love to watch her shiny dark flowing hair sway as she flits about our living room, practicing ballet steps, over emphasizing her desire to be graceful and nymph-like, an impossible task at her young age despite her concerted effort. By the serious look on her face, I am certain she imagines herself a fairy princess ballerina and in her mind she is weightless, poised and possesses a tiny bit of magic.
She continues to have an insatiable appetite for books and surprised us last week during story time and coffee time at Starbucks, reading her first book from cover to cover out loud to us all by herself! We were completely shocked and had no idea she was able to sound out all those words, let alone read them. HOP on POP!! who knew? She is also a wiz at numbers, and our calculator is forever missing, as it has become one of her new favorite toys.
Recently at a child's birthday party, one woman introduced herself as the mother of a new boy at Devi's preschool. When she found out I was Devi's mom she just had to tell me that her son has been non-stop chatter about Dev since his first day. Evidently, she elected herself the welcoming committee and immediately approached him, showing him where to hang his coat, where to wash his hands, and she invited him to come play with her. I can't tell you how proud of her I was in that moment.
There are those quiet moments too, where I see the innocent infant still inside of her. Sucking her thumb and clinging onto to her pokey blanket square in just the right way to bring comfort in those sleepy moments before going bed or in times where she is feeling sad or uncertain. Always a cuddle bug, if there is an empty lap, she will find it.
Devi also has a feisty side, where she can show just enough naughtiness to get herself into trouble. She knows better, but sometimes the urge to push buttons or break rules is just too tempting to deny. She herself will tell you that the batteries in her listening ears have lost their juice!
This morning, I awoke to the sound of her footy pajama covered feet pattering across the hall to our room. As she typically does, she climbed into bed with Pat and I for a few extra minutes of cuddling before it was time to start our day. She loves to lay nose to nose to me, or give my cheeks and nose butterfly kisses. Today she whispered, "Mom, I love you more than horses and princesses. I even love you more than rainbows." Honestly, does it get any better than that? Taking into consideration the limited ability of a 4 year old to understand and verbalize their emotions, what she said was huge. It warmed my heart.
Could I have ever imagined this child four years ago? Nope. It's the gift of parenthood that just keeps evolving. Everything is unexpected, most of it is wonderful, a bit of it is a tad shocking - even the surprise at the end of my task. Opening the lint trap of the vacuum expecting to find nothing but an accumulation of lint and dirt, I found yet another surprise - glitter, boa feathers, a tiny plastic doll shoe and even a small cluster of loose princess dress sequins too.
All Is Well
5 days ago