Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Missing Miss Mojo

Cayenne

Taken three weeks ago

Laying flat against the slightly dewy grass to soak in the last of the morning sun's rays and breathing deeply the earthy fresh scent of newly laid sod, she lazily enjoys the beginning of her day. In her peripheral vision she catches a blur of gray and she raises just her head for a better look. Springing to attention, she zeros in on the source of her interrupted serenity. A squirrel. Irresistible. Lead by instinct, she explodes from her resting place into instant sprint and the chase ensues. The squirrel invariably gets away and perches himself atop the fence to taunt and tease it's chaser with incessant chatter.

Although I did not witness this, it is the scene that I hope was Cayenne's last run. We came home to find our girl with a skinned nose, a swollen spot the size of a peach on her thigh, and unable to put weight on her rear leg. Coming from the vet, we had just confirmed that she had bone cancer in her femur, but she did not understand that and probably dashed without a thought, breaking the fragile bone. Until this day, with our vigilance to force Cayenne live a quieter life, it was manageable and at times we barely noticed her limp. Since that fateful Monday, Cayenne has been in steady decline and mounting pain and today we shared our last hug (yes, she gave the best neck embraces one can imagine), our last pat on the head and ear scritches, shared our last words together (hey, good girl) and we stared in each others' eyes for the last time. Her looking for comfort and me looking for some level of understanding. Although I can't stand the thought of her not being with us, to ask a born runner and integral part of our family to live even one more day in this kind of pain as a non-participant, sedated and unable to get up with no hope of ever getting better was simply not fair to any of us, but especially not to her.

Although we did not discover it for a few years, Cayenne's racing name was Miss Mojo and both of her names were perfect for her. She pranced as she walked, like a woman wearing high heals which was a giveaway of her girly girl feminine nature. She was also known to be a bit bossy and spirited - peppery - from time to time. From the time we first met our racetrack mud covered Cayenne, driving home together in our small sedan, Cayenne with Konrad - our buck and doe - standing up on all fours on the back seat staring between Pat and I through the windshield, until this day, has been a journey that was so enriched by her very presence, her silliness and her unconditional love.

One of Devi's first words was pup-pup for her Cayennie girl. Although I had my doubts, the two of them developed an incredible friendship in a very short time. Cayenne endured tugs, pulls, pinches, and tail pulls with rarely so much as a flinch. Cayenne quickly took on the role of mother hen and would come and find me if Devi so much as uttered a peep and would lovingly lay outside Devi's door during nap time. Devi was a very early talker and quickly let it be known that Cayenne was her best friend, planting big wet kisses on her wet nose when ever she got the chance. I remember what a joyous day it was when Cayenne, after months of giving assurance that she would NOT hurt Devi, finally took a bone form Devi's hand. The delight that both of them found in lifting their mouths to the sky and rooing to their heart's content is a priceless memory. Thought of the two of them no longer together bring me incredible sadness. Buds. My two peas in a pod, or as daddy would all them, "my girls"'.

This is the first time in 10 years that our household has been void of family members known also as pets and if feels eerily quiet and incredibly foreign to us. We will miss our sweet Cayennie girl beyond measure.




A Walk Down Memory Lane - Best Friends






16 comments:

Pam said...

I'm so sorry Julie. I can remember one of the first pictures that I saw on your blog was you & Pat & your pups! I know this must be incredibly hard for your family. I pray you find comfort today.
Hugs,
Pam

Our Family said...

Just wanted to say that u did a wonderful job on dedicating this post to your dog! It brought tears to me thinking of how much joy this dog has brought into your lives and how you have given this dog a great home!
You all sound like us,we just like dogs! Hope u get a new pet soon!!
Have a great weekend and I hope that u find peace that your sweet dog is not hurting anymore.....Gidget

The Labontes said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a loss for all of you.

Kristy

Sara said...

Oh Julie, I'm so glad I didn't put on mascara yet today before reading your post. Beautifully written and I am so sorry for your loss. My daughter is wiping the tears from my eyes even now.

Kristi W. said...

Oh no!!! Julie, I'm so sorry you lost Cayenne. Thanks for your post. The pics are precious! I hope your family heals from this loss. Hang in there...

Kristi W.

Anonymous said...

She captured my heart in my brief time of knowing her. What a blessing she was to your family and all who met her. I am so sorry for this loss.
Love,
Michele

Peter and Nancy said...

I will be thinking of you as you say goodbye to this integral part of your family, and Devi's first friend. Love to you all as you miss Cayenne,
Nancy

Beth said...

Such a beautiful girl, your Miss Cayenne. I have a close friend with two Grays and they are wonderful dogs. I'm so sorry for your loss. I still miss my Madison (our cat)who passed away at nearly 18 years just a year ago...such a huge part of our families and our lives, our pets.

I wanted to also write to tell you I've ready, and loved,your blog for some time. You write so expressively. My husband and I met you and Patrick...and Devi at a Children's Home Society Education class where you came to talk. I mentioned you (and linked to your blog) in my own blog (which is on Wanderlust and Lipstick, a women's travel website).

Warm healing thoughts your way,

Beth

http://wanderlustandlipstick.com/blogs/pamperspakhlava/

Amy said...

I am so sorry Julie! I always enjoyed seeing pics of her - such a beautiful dog. I am so glad she is free from pain now. I pray you have peace today.

ColleenC said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. Loved the pics of her with Devi- so sweet and she was obviously a wonderful, and wonderfully loved pet.

Anonymous said...

Julie:
I am so sorry for your loss.I agree with everyone else.Your words were so sweet and such a neat memorial to your sweet 4 legged friend.I know how special our little daschund is to us and I can't iamgine our life without her.
I will be praying for your hearts.
Leveta

Karen said...

Oh Julie & Pat & Devi, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. Poor Cayenne. What a sweetie. Your words are just beautiful and I know you'll be glad you have them to treasure later. Give Devi an extra hug from us and please know that we're thinking of all of you!
Love,
The Welsers 5

Adoption Blog said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear that! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time!

Hugs

Anonymous said...

I can't type the sound I am making and the look on my face.

I am so sorry for the new quiet in your house.

Love you,

Monica

Anonymous said...

I have re-grouped a little, and must add, what a wonderful tribute! You captured Cayenne beautifully in words and pictures.

Monica

Elizabeth said...

don't worry sometimes happen, but i send you my company and big hug, in this no so good time, you has very beautiful pictures of your family, i love them, you are so lucky, so don't be sad, be sure that where ever is your sweet Mojo, is in peace now