Easter And The Peampt Past

Happy Easter 2011

Even with mother nature being uncooperative, spring is on it's way. On a chilly sprinkling day, the girls took part in the Ruston annual Egg Hunt. Although drawing a sizable crowd, there were, once again, far more eggs than were needed. As per usual, the organizers were yelling for parents to fill their pockets, bring two baskets, please take more. Our shivering girls filled their baskets to over flowing, but when Devi couldn't take a step without losing two eggs over the brim, we decided to head to the coffee shop to look over the loot. Devi cashed in with a pile of penny candy and 67 cents. Treya scored a pile of penny candy and a whopping 79 cents! Both girls were delighted and asked if they could wish everyone in the coffee shop a Happy Easter and hand out their candy. The patron's were most kind as Devi (our leader) interrupted conversations to dole out the sweets. This was the perfect segway for us to sit together and tell the Easter story.

Our now familiar traditions, such as dying eggs, have taken on new life with another child experiencing them for the first time. This year, we had our first two cups of vinegar and dye overturned in the excitement. Can you guess who the culprit was? Thank goodness for garbage bag smocks! I love to stand back and watch as Treya studies Devi for signs of how to react to these new experiences - should she laugh, act scared, act confident, say something in particular. She mimics Devi like a clone in her body language as well; sitting just like her big sister, folding her hands, crossing her feet, wearing or not wearing shoes. She is intent on getting everything just right...just like Devi.

Devi is finally at an age where she has experienced holidays enough times to know how they play out and with that comes an air of confidence. She came running into our bedroom on Easter morning whimpering and exclaiming that the Easter bunny did not stop at our house - the hearth was empty. That is when I had to open one eye and remind her that Peter Cottontail can be sneaky and likes to trick little girls and boys; perhaps she should look in other places to see if he had left something in an unexpected place. Thank goodness he did, because Devi's confidence was quite rattled...meanwhile Treya toddled along behind her showing an equal amount of concern.

Treya uses her new fingered hand to gather eggs!

Devi is the old pro, showing how it is done.

Nothing slows Treya down when egg hunting!

Later in the day, we headed to Oma's house for the Easter feast. Daddy and Oma set up another egg hunt, just for fun, inside the house because by now it was down pouring. The girls delighted in flitting through Oma's living room discovering the great egg hiding places there. All of us experiencing a bit of a sugar high, it was wonderful to fill our belly's with ham and potatoes and show Treya how to do an Easter egg war. Pat has been doing egg wars at the table for as long as he can remember...testing with a tap, the strength of the end of your egg against an opponent's egg. This year, daddy was proclaimed the winner, with Treya a close second. Although the children were begging for more candy, we had all had enough with several bowls full still wafting in our pantry.

This week - a Peampt Past!

Today, we headed back for a cast change. Treya chose a Peampt Past, or pink cast. She cried huge wet tears while the old purple cast was being cut off, but was quite talkative and received praise from the doctor and technician who applied the new one. Normally, the children have to be held down, but Treya gladly sat still and eyed them with amazement as her wiggly toes were cemented in place for another week. The doctor was thrilled with the progress of her foot shape and position in just one week, saying that she had gained about 10 percent more movement when pulling your toes toward your knee. They are hoping for a 30 percent overall range of motion when the casting is complete. This week we hope to pull the heel to a straight position, forming a stable base to stand on, as currently it is turned in and up. We managed to pull off another 4 hour stint of applying no body weight fairly easily this time, but she made up for the confinement when we booted her up and turned her loose tonight. Geez. I'm exhausted!

Whoopsie Daisy - Home Repair

Devi had her first sheet rock mishap this week. On the first sunny day we've had in months, she decided the girls should sit outside in the sun. Attempting to move two children's chairs down a flight of stairs and outside was the plan. What can I say? The girl is a mulit-tasker. Thankfully, it was only a chair that came crashing down the flight of stairs and not my pumpkin pie! While all this commotion was going on, we were all outside. Devi very calmly set both chairs out for she and Treya to enjoy the sun. A few minutes later Devi said, "Momma, I have something to tell you." She went on to explain that "...I made a small hole in the wall...actually, it wasn't me, it was the chair, but the chair had an accident." Sure enough, there was a perfect leg sized puncture clean through the sheet rock. Pat and I talked about the dangers of moving furniture alone, but praised Devi for telling us the truth about what had happened, because you could see how hard it was for her to tell us. You know she wished there were some way she could just take it all back. You could see the relief in her face as soon as she realized we were not going to get mad. She was a bit irresponsible, however, so her punishment was to fix the wall herself, with the help of daddy, of course.

Momma Musings

My Little Bride!

Probably the single most fascinating thing about being a mother is watching the way your children perceive the world.

Devi is consumed with fairies, princesses and all thing pink and purple, which is pretty typical. Lately, however, she has found a new obsession. Becoming a bride. I don’t recall ever even thinking about weddings as a girl, but she loves the idea of finding her one love at age 4, most likely a romantic seed planted by Disney. You know? Living happily ever after.

The wedding cake

The other night, her pretend world brought this dream to life. Zipped and tied into our dress up closet’s version of a wedding dress, she added a hoop skirt for twirl ability and veil - complete with crown, adorned with jewels and boa feathers for detail. For an unbelievable long period of time, she stood and admired herself in the full length mirror, all the while muttering under her breath the details of her dress, her wedding, her special day; posing this way and that, taking in her full beauty from all sides. Not typically drawn toward “sappy” I have to admit, I got a little choked up for a second. Squinting my eyes a little, I couldn’t help but envision her many years from now, actually facing the wonder of her real wedding day. Jerking me back to the present, I watched as she packed the play suitcase bound for the honeymoon!

Feet with a partial club foot repair.

Purple cast - week 1

The next step in club foot repair has begun for Treya. She will wear a cast on her left leg for the next 6 weeks. Each new cast, changed weekly, will slightly alter the position of her foot. The resilience of this child is amazing. This girl is a survivor who will let nothing stand in her way in life.

Treya chose purple as the color of this first cast. I don’t know that she is overly fond of the color, but she knows her sister is, and if Devi likes it so does little sis. The procedure is done fairly quickly, but because the walking cast cures from the outside in, we have to be certain that it is good and solid before bearing any of her weight. If the position of the foot inside the cast is altered, that week does not count and we have to start over. Specifically, no weight on that leg for 4 hours! Yes, you heard me right...4 hours and yes, she is wildly busy and a used-to-being-mobile 2 year old. Pat and I did the only thing we could think of...strapped her into a stroller and “strolled” the local mall, all the while trying to entertain her with boxes of raisins, yogurt bites and flipping wheelies! Honestly, does anyone know how hard it is to “waste” 4 hours with a toddler who isn’t suppose to stand up?

With a boot attached for stability, she now is able to walk on it, or run - as the case may be. Although incredibly heavy, the cast does not seem to be slowing her down one bit. The weight of it does take over at times sending her tumbling, flying and even left scrape marks on her forehead during an over zealous diaper change. While laying on her back, the wide-eyed look of surprise on her face, as her club-like uncontrollable leg came full force toward her face, had me chuckling only for a moment at her expense. Nothing that a bit of ointment and a kiss couldn’t soothe. Night night involves removing the boot, but adding the arm splint. Some how she manages to find a comfortable position wearing a cast on the left leg and the splint on her right arm. What a trooper!

Spring is coming....

...put away the hats and mittens!

Language continues to be our biggest stumbling block with Treya, sometimes rather than frustration, bringing the best comic relief. She has made vast improvements, but still only has limited sounds. All of her words begin with the B, D, T, or N sounds. The other night I made home-made Chicken Noodle Soup. It was delicious if I do say so myself. Trey thought so too, saying, “Mmmm....dum dum, poop!” To the trained ear that was “Mmmm....yum yum, soup!”

Love these girls beyond belief!

Blossoming This Spring

The Jr. Daffodil Parade - Treya's first parade ever.

In spite of our unseasonably cold weather, spring continues it’s attempt to arrive. With a glimpse here and there of new growth, comes the promise that the sunshine will grace us with it’s presence at some point. Until then, we remain focused on the small changes we see from day to day, much the same way we focus on the small changes we see in our ever settling family.

I have this identical photo of Devi at her first parade too!

Nothing like licking the beaters!

While changing into our pjs one night, I noticed that the grafted skin on Treya’s had had turned unnaturally dark...the color of my brown leather slip-ons, to be precise. Why these small states of panic only happen at bed time or on the weekends, I’ll never know, but such was the case yet again. After turning our den upside down, I finally found the phone number for the surgical resident on call at Children’s hospital. For what seemed like the next hour, we tried our best to describe over the phone what the skin looked like, while simultaneously photographing Treya’s fingers attached to one small arm that never seems to hold still. In the end, the surgical resident calmed our nerves by ruling out rejection of the skin and infection - the two big evils. Further concluding the following day, that it appears that there was too much moisture under the new skin and that a few “dry” days should help the grafted skin “pink up”. So far, that has not happened, but the confident doctors are not concerned and we are following their lead as we watch in amazement, as her new finger continues to heal and become more viable in it’s function.

March 7th - the day before surgery. Our hands how they used to look.

After surgery Treya wears a cast for 3 weeks from armpit to fingertips.

March 29th, the cast is removed and a new pinkie finger is born! Note the line draw between her middle fingers is still there showing where the doctors contemplated the separation before deciding to wait.

No cast, but 6 weeks of wearing this brace.

Now healed, but the grafted skin on the inside of the 4th and 5th fingers remains dark in color. The middle two fingers will be separated in about 1 more month to give her 5 fingers on each hand.

At Coffee time and story time.

Just as spring blossoms bring an explosion of color, so has Treya experienced an explosion of vocabulary, mimicking everything that we say. Introducing our newest family member to our silly car games has us once again yelling out “forsythia” whenever we see a bright yellow bush, one of the first plants to come alive after a cold winter. To this Treya yells “ti-ti-ta!” and manages to yell it at appropriate times, actually recognizing the plant in question.

The small single width tunnel we drive through near our home requires the driver to sound the horn to alert oncoming traffic that someone is coming. Naturally, one horn blast is never enough for us, so the driver will sound the horn every time a child yells a little encouragement. It took us a long time to realize that what Treya was yelling, which sounded like “apple core” was really her proclamation “Honk the horn!” screamed repeatedly at least a full city block in advance.

Translation of other common Treya words are boop (book), pea-pudge (garbage), babewy (strawberry), daughter (water), ah-wa-vew (I love you), tuit-tea (cookie). When ever we are talking about shoes or coats we are getting ready to go somewhere so Treya's word for what we put on our feet is "twos-on" and our outer wear is, you guessed it, "tote-on". There is a bit of confusion over daddy and Devi. Daddy is “daddy” and Devi is “deddy”, with just a slight change in pronunciation. This has both of them confused as to whom she is speaking, making conversations at times, very difficult to follow.

With the most sincere and serious expression, she loves to sing. Instead of singing lyrics, however, she swoons heartfelt sounds for the words, similar to the popular Sing-A-Ma-Jig dolls, where depressing their tummies moves their lips and a sound comes out. It is hilarious and have to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing at her. Eyes, Burp and Amen are about the only words that are recognizable to everyone and to that I say...Amen!

Dev and daddy moved her groove things at the Grand Floral Parade while Treya and I, under the weather stayed home.

Devi brings a refreshing perspective to our adult world of logic, with questions like, “Momma, can a girl be a monk?” or “India is so crowded, why have so many people decided to live there?” As an adult, I can honestly say, I’ve never pondered either of those thoughts. She also noticed as Pat bent down one day that he had gray hair. "Daddy, you have gray hair. Are you old?" Daddy corrected, "It makes me look distinguished." Devi retorted, "No daddy, you're old because you have wrinkles too." "I don't have wrinkles!" daddy said defensively. "Yes you do...on your knees and elbows!"

We all ready get the answer, “I don’t remember” when I ask about preschool activities or what she had for lunch, but occasionally she’ll share a bit about her complicated day. For instance, one day she and another girl had to collect leaves - that were really paper bills - to give to another girl so that she would be nice to them. I kid you not! At 4 years of age this stuff is all ready popping up and sparked a lengthy conversation about the meaning of friendship. Thankfully, those occasions are rare and we are more likely to her hear that she and a little boy friend were pretending to be horses. Devi was “Crystal” and he was “Spider” and they were making wood chip birthday cakes for their foals. (Thank goodness the questions of how those foals magically appeared have not come into play!)

Purse strap slung over one shoulder and with a sophisticated look upon her face, she approached Pat and I one day saying, “Bye, I’m going to go visit my boyfriend!” Playing along we said, “Bye, don’t stay out too late.” “Late?” she questioned, never considering that one would visit a friend at any time other than the day time. I inquired, “Where are you going on your date?” She replied, “Date? What’s a date?” After an explanation she said, “Come on Treya, let’s go” I asked, “Is Trey your chaperon?” She asked, “What is a chaperon?” I told her, a chaperon is the person that you always bring on a date to keep you company. That way you always have someone around to talk with."Yep, I'm never gonna leave Treya home when I have a date." To this I say....good girl!

As she walked away satisfied, I have to admit I was shocked. Normally so focused on the bigger picture, I sometimes miss the small changes...the buds forming - our buds - beginning to blossom. The signs that our baby girls are growing up are everywhere.

Stickers from a pirate...nothing says "parade" like a pirate!

A Little Mother's Love

Work...it really is a 4 letter word and although it puts food on the table, and allows for a few of life's luxuries, it also means that I have to entrust the welfare of my girls to others. Gosh, I hate this part of the deal. Naturally, it is harder on me than them.

Devi is VIP at her preschool this week. She has been waiting for HER turn all year and this week the extra special duties have been bestowed upon her. Not only does she get to hold the flag for the morning pledge, but she also gets to look out the window to forecast the weather, set the table for snack time and bring in a new show and share item every day of the week that helps describe something about her. We also made a poster of photos showing her as a baby, her family, and some of the things she likes to do. She was beaming with pride over the finished product and couldn't wait to take it to school this morning.

Treya had her first full day of daycare today, following two days last week where we had a trial run for a couple of hours each day. And yes, I bawled my eyes out when she and daddy drove out of the driveway that first day. I just felt so empty. Home for only two months, I felt as though we had just started to connect - truly making that mother/daughter eye contact - needing just a couple more weeks to solidify that bond of trust.

A kind older woman cares for our Treya in her home. Grandma Nancy is experienced, soft spoken, fun and has an unbelievable home of collected toys including a pet turtle in an aquarium that even makes this grown up envious. She cares for 3 other young children and it seems to be the perfect fit for Trey. When I arrive, she asks me to come "sit" and play, not wanting to leave. On today's arrival, Treya ran to Devi, leading her by the finger to show Devi her very own cubbie that holds all of her supplies. Treya insisted that Nancy put her coat of for her, giving huge hugs and kisses as we departed.

Finding Nancy couldn't have been a nicer blessing. With splints, casts and possible surgery still in Treya's future, the flexibility of an in-home daycare, was essential. And with only a few kids, Treya is more apt to socialize; a bigger group giving her every opportunity to go play alone in a corner, much like she did in the orphanage where where she lived.

March 29th, Treya's cast was removed from her hand, revealing the birth of her new pinky finger. It was amazing to see the transformation that had taken place beneath the casting material that encased her precious digits, holding them still for healing, ensuring good blood flow to the newly grafted skin. At first sight it was swollen and a bit crusty - "icky" according to Trey, but to the rest of us, the extension of her grasp nearly doubled in capacity and the new independent finger moved so naturally from the moment it became free.

Currently, she wears a fiberglass splint with a walled partition between her new pinky and the rest of the fingers, to avoid the tendency for those fingers to grow back together. Six weeks of wearing the splint should have things healed enough to perform the second surgery to separate the two middle fingers. This is huge, as it will not only provide a full set of five fingers, although not full length, on each hand, but also will give her a ring finger, which I hope will hold the promise of a young man's love through the bond of marriage someday.

I've mentioned before that Devi's transition through this magnificent journey has been the hardest adjustment. This week, revealed yet another piece to the difficult puzzle of her intense feelings. Turns out, she is the one who wants to be the mother figure to her little sister. You should have seen her face light up the night I asked her to give Treya her bath! Devi immediately went into action, "Momma, I'll get her jammies, and night time diaper so they are ready...and I can run the water and get the lotion and have a towel ready. I can soap her hair and I'll be careful not to get soap in her eyes...I can pick out the tub toys and brush her teeth and comb her wet hair!" Who knew? I took a stab in the dark - a new approach. Here I thought she wanted to have everything fair - even Steven - between them (which when we are talking about sweets is true). Instead she was craving responsibility and the need to be trusted where her sister's well being was concerned. With my guidance, she did it. The whole evening ritual and was so incredibly loving that I had a hard time not cracking up at my little momma in action. Yes, right down to the comments, she was a mini me!

To watch the girls' evolving relationship is fascinating. Although it is not rosy all of the time, they do play together so well, having developed their own language as a means of communicating. Together, Treya is learning to appreciate Devi's love of books, music and dancing. I guess it is of no surprise that on this day, my first day back to work spent pining for my youngest daughter, she came running and screaming for none other than DeeDee, the little mother, who received the first welcome home hug with kisses.

More Than Horses and Princesses!

With the white noise of the vacuum cleaner giving my mind that much needed opportunity to wander, I began thinking about four years ago, which now seems like a past lifetime. We've changed so much in those 1,460 days. This Wednesday, March 23rd marks the 4th anniversary of the day that we first laid eyes on our Devi and those sweet rosebud lips of hers. It marks the day that we first realized that we would actually become parents, responsible for far more than just our own two careers, livelihood and happiness. It was the day that our minds gave permission to our hearts to fully open to give love and receive the love of another life; a life we had longed for for a very long time.

We were so consumed by "if" there would be a child back then that we never dreamed beyond that. What sort of personality would she have? Would she be smart or struggle in school? Would she be shy or outgoing? Who knew that with the passing of time, our whole world would change in such delightful, difficult and demanding ways? Reminiscing, I thought about how every aspect of our daily living has been altered to encompass the needs of this child - our Devi Rose.

Watching her candidly still takes my breath away. She is a beautiful child. From the corner of my eye, I love to watch her shiny dark flowing hair sway as she flits about our living room, practicing ballet steps, over emphasizing her desire to be graceful and nymph-like, an impossible task at her young age despite her concerted effort. By the serious look on her face, I am certain she imagines herself a fairy princess ballerina and in her mind she is weightless, poised and possesses a tiny bit of magic.

She continues to have an insatiable appetite for books and surprised us last week during story time and coffee time at Starbucks, reading her first book from cover to cover out loud to us all by herself! We were completely shocked and had no idea she was able to sound out all those words, let alone read them. HOP on POP!! who knew? She is also a wiz at numbers, and our calculator is forever missing, as it has become one of her new favorite toys.



Recently at a child's birthday party, one woman introduced herself as the mother of a new boy at Devi's preschool. When she found out I was Devi's mom she just had to tell me that her son has been non-stop chatter about Dev since his first day. Evidently, she elected herself the welcoming committee and immediately approached him, showing him where to hang his coat, where to wash his hands, and she invited him to come play with her. I can't tell you how proud of her I was in that moment.


There are those quiet moments too, where I see the innocent infant still inside of her. Sucking her thumb and clinging onto to her pokey blanket square in just the right way to bring comfort in those sleepy moments before going bed or in times where she is feeling sad or uncertain. Always a cuddle bug, if there is an empty lap, she will find it.

Devi also has a feisty side, where she can show just enough naughtiness to get herself into trouble. She knows better, but sometimes the urge to push buttons or break rules is just too tempting to deny. She herself will tell you that the batteries in her listening ears have lost their juice!

This morning, I awoke to the sound of her footy pajama covered feet pattering across the hall to our room. As she typically does, she climbed into bed with Pat and I for a few extra minutes of cuddling before it was time to start our day. She loves to lay nose to nose to me, or give my cheeks and nose butterfly kisses. Today she whispered, "Mom, I love you more than horses and princesses. I even love you more than rainbows." Honestly, does it get any better than that? Taking into consideration the limited ability of a 4 year old to understand and verbalize their emotions, what she said was huge. It warmed my heart.

Could I have ever imagined this child four years ago? Nope. It's the gift of parenthood that just keeps evolving. Everything is unexpected, most of it is wonderful, a bit of it is a tad shocking - even the surprise at the end of my task. Opening the lint trap of the vacuum expecting to find nothing but an accumulation of lint and dirt, I found yet another surprise - glitter, boa feathers, a tiny plastic doll shoe and even a small cluster of loose princess dress sequins too.

Feasting and Frolicking!

Happy Holi 2011!

The first day preceding the full spring moon marks the Indian holiday Holi. In celebration of the coming of spring everyone merrily shakes off their winter coats and welcomes a new season with a bit of rebellious frivolity and loudness. We are so ready for a little springtime weather. I've lost count of how many straight days of rain we have had keeping us cooped up inside. A reason to celebrate vibrant colors through food and merriment, although still inside due to in climate weather, was more than welcomed at our house.

Right after nap time we all dressed in our Indian outfits - both girls requesting their newly acquired Rasjastani dresses that they wore for our adoption ceremony. Accessorizing with bangles, necklaces, bindis and any other jewelry that jingled or jangled completed our ensemble.


Let the frolicking begin! We danced and played our musical instruments while listening to Indian music for nearly an hour while the feast simmered along in the kitchen just steps away. The house smelled and sounded great - very gay indeed! Devi tried to teach us some dance steps from her classes and Treya showed us how she could play her shaker on her shoulder, toe and gently on her head, all the while we spinned and paraded around the island and marched around the coffee table. All that exertion left this family of four famished.

Our Indian feast consisted of Murgh Tikka, Aloo Gobi, Channa Dal, Saffron Rice, Samosas with Spicy Mango Chutney and a healthy supply of garlic naan. The girls had mango lassi for dessert. My love of cooking is only heightened by the opportunity to prepare Indian food for my family, a meal where no one complains and everyone leaves the table with aching sides.

True to form, everyone ate heartily and I got the two thumbs up from everyone except Treya who was shoveling it in so fast I don't know as she was able to even taste it, other than to know that the smells and textures were definitely familiar to her. Devi, although possessing a fairly inexperienced palate, said that I make the best Indian food she has ever tasted, a compliment that I lovingly accept. In her mind, because she was born in India, she is an expert on these matters, and she is proud to have a pale momma who can prepare HER food.

Because gulal powder is not something one can readily pick up at the local grocer, and the throwing of it is not exactly age appropriate for the 2 year old , we once again resorted to body painting with soap paint in the tub. Even this was a stretch this year with Treya in a cast covered in plastic and an incision in her gut that is not supposed to be submerged in water. None the less, we manged to have a "wild" time in the bathtub, with lots of bubbly color applied with tricky and underhanded swipes, that brought ear splitting squeals from both girls, leaving Pat and I near deaf.



All that rebellion, gluttony and frolicking can tucker a couple of girls out. We had to wake them today at 7:15...a first at our household. We begin another day of rain today, but know that our celebration must have done some good, awakening the blossoms of spring, as I see bright yellow forsythia peeking through the fence boards of our neighbor's yard. Happy Holi!

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes

The braces Treya came home with that she no longer has to wear.

Sporting her cast, covered by a sock to protect her face, the furniture etc.

Well, toes mostly. Thanks to the tip from my cousin Kris, yesterday Treya met Doctor Mosca, one of the best children's foot guys in the country. It was a big day, as it was the first time that Trey has been back to the site where her hand surgery took place. She was unfazed and the hand continues to be healing nicely—beneath a cast now for nearly a week.

Jovial as all get out, we find it interesting that while Treya tends to be tremendously shy around most people, she seems to go out of her way to be outgoing around doctors and nurses. I don't know where this comes from, but is smart on her part, I suppose.

In any case, Dr. Mosca, raising his voice to be heard (have I mentioned our child can be loud?) explained what is going on with Treya's delicious toes and feet. Meanwhile, she RAMBLED ON making her way around the examining room, with hunched shoulders, pumping her tucked little arms and shuffling her feet as fast as they could go creating the cutest bouncy gait —her attempt at a run. This vision of jiggling black curls and the unmistakable sound of diaper rustling against the inside of her knit pants is one that I hope I never forget.

In layman's terms, the tendon on the left club foot was released when Treya was only a month old and the repair has healed well. However, Dr. Mosca feels that the correction was not completed all the way. Although Treya walks just fine now, if left the way it is, the foot bones will continue to "harden" with calcium in this position and will not be able to comfortably support her weight as she grows leading to sore feet and problems walking as an older child or adult. This problem is intensified by the week muscles she has supporting the outside of the foot, which were compromised by an amniotic band in utero, which now can not be altered.

With feet, we learned that altering their position after the age of 4 is less successful as the bones are not as easily molded. If fact, Dr. Mosca even referred to Treya as "old" in our conversations. So with time wasting away, on April 18th, Treya will begin to wear a series of casts to complete the Ponsetti method of club foot correction. Yes, I said casts! Poor baby could quite possibly be sporting one on her right arm and left leg at the same time. Each week for six weeks they will slightly change the position of her foot and recast it to help complete the turning of her foot to a more normal position. She went through this procedure once before as an infant, and it proved successful then, so we have every hope that this time will prove the same.

After the six weeks of reforming her foot position, Dr. Mosca will be able to determine how to proceed. Our hope is that the final step can be completed by wearing corrective shoes held together by a center brace, that would be worn at night until Treya is 4 years old. The alternative is to surgically move the tendon on the side of her foot and attach it to the top of her foot, to permanently prevent her foot from rolling and turning inward. There is no need to share which solution we are praying for.

Pat and I were surprised to hear all of this, but we resolve in the fact that when you get the help of the best, you get the best result. So we are in this for the long haul and trust that Treya understands this too. Meanwhile in the back of Pat's mind, I know he has swirling thoughts of people like Mia Hamm who was born with club feet, and has accomplished so much in the world of women's soccer despite this adversity. Treya is a child with just that kind of tenacity.

The Good News and The Bad News

Both Pat and I had a sense of eerie calm as we headed out on the hour drive to the hospital at 5:15am this morning. Upon arrival, we were issued badges and took our place in line at the all ready booming hospital, still feeling calm and collected.

Escorted back to the pre-op room, we were handed a package of sterile wipes and a gown and slippers that were about 4 sizes too big. It is then that the suspicious thought occurred to me, if this is a Children's Hospital, then why do they not have properly fitting hospital garb.? It was a fleeting thought, as about 4 nurses came in and showed us the highest level of care and concern for our Treya, who by this time seemed to be realizing that something was going on.

Once the nurses and anesthesiologist learned of our story and concern for having known Treya only a little over a month before having to submit her to this, a true betrayal in our trust, they took over in ways that made our stay today the best experience ever. To begin with, Treya turned on the charm, winning them over with blown kisses and bowing with the sign of namaste to them all. Then they had me give her a tasty medicine that instantly relaxed her, eventually moving through a happy state of drunk to near sleeping. They typically don't give this as they try to avoid extra medications and this particular one can make waking up in recovery take longer. We were also faced with a bit more risk, as we have no medical history to know how Treya responds to medications. In the end, they claim it erases her memory from the time she started to relax until we were joined after the procedure, which was worth the extra time and effort.

Handing over our precious bundle brought the first welling of tears from both Pat and I. Every fiber of my being is saying that we're doing the right thing, but still the emotional upheaval was about more than we could bare. Our last glimpse of her as the walked toward the operating room, reminded us of that stare we saw at our first meeting and in most of the photos we have accumulated during our wait - a cute child, yes, but wearing that look of lifelessness with empty eyes and a stressed brow, which is so different than the child we have come to know in the last month.

We found our place in a peaceful area for the two hour wait, spending our time playing Scrabble on the ipad. Concentration being less than par, we could only come up with words like "God" and "Hope", while appropriate, they do not score very high toward one's overall score. Soon the BZZZZ of our hospital pager was sounding letting us know that the procedure was over and we could talk with the doctor.

Body language telling the whole story, Dr. Freidrick arrived 20 minutes later wearing a smile and looking rather fresh, not even a drop of perspiration on his scrubs. That is when he gave us the good news and the bad news. The good news is that when releasing her pinky he found way more finger there than expected. The two middle fingers had pulled that pinky inward making it impossible to know how long it would be. To our surprise, her new finger is nearly as long as her index finger. With the length comes a need for more skin grafting, making the separation of the two inner fingers too risky at this time...the bad news. Dr. Freidrick felt that the blood supply to the inner two fingers would be compromised had he released them today, but is hopeful that they too, will become significant digits for her when we complete this procedure, hopefully in a couple of months. For now, she has her 'border" digits, which is a huge improvement.

Soon thereafter, we spotted our tiny jelly bean, snoozing away on the rolling baby gurney in her folded body position, sporting a cast from fingertip to armpit - green for St. Patrick's Day and a patch on her belly where the skin to cover her new finger was harvested. They encouraged her to open her eyes and once she saw me standing there she reached out her arms, heavy with sleep and called for momma!

At two, she has never been a huge cuddle bug, so I drank in the weight of her heavily drugged and groggy body into my chest, synchronizing the rise and fall of our breaths. We were draped with a warm blanket and although the nursing staff encouraged us to slowly wake her, I could have stayed right there all day, again becoming overwhelmed with emotion. Eventually, she managed to drink in a cup of water and sucked down her first Popsicle, staining her dry lips dark purple from the sweet juices enhancing it's grape flavor.

Once somewhat alert, we began to get Treya dressed. It is then that we realized the size of her cast would not fit into any of the outfits I had hoped would work. I am still at a loss as to how we are going to clothe her, but we manged to send her home partially dressed, which was of no concern to her in her sluggish state. At home, the couch was home to Trey for the next several hours as she snoozed away - the most still I've ever seen her for any length of time.

Now with a full belly, an outfit that fits and pain meds on board, she is sleeping soundly again, hopefully for the night. This came, not without much complaining (screaming) because we would not take the cast off, and a rare opportunity to rock-me-until-I-fall-asleep. As I held her in the darkness of my bedroom tonight, awaiting slumber to take over, I could see how much this girl has given into her fate, receiving us as her parents. It is an amazing feeling. Today that little girl gained a finger, and that is pretty darned cool! Thanks, Children's Hospital.

Treya's Top Ten List!

Today I have the phone attached to my hip, anticipating a call from the hospital to give us the exact time of Treya's hand surgery tomorrow, while she naps soundly upstairs. It is hard to realize that her sweet little hand, after tomorrow, will be forever different and it is our responsibility to have made the right decision for her, to see that she is well taken care of and to pray for the best possible outcome. Because she can not verbalize, we have to also assume that she is okay with our decisions. If you knew someone for only a little over a month, would you let them make those decisions for you? That is heavy heavy stuff.

To say that Treya is moody child is an understatement, but with her much improved ability to communicate, the cutest of personalities is beginning to emerge. So on the eve of this life altering day for her, these are Treya's Top Ten Favorite Things.

10. Eating more than mommy and daddy...combined! Treya has gained 3 pounds in a month and seems to love to eat pretty much everything. MEAT be it shrimp, beef, chicken, or fish is her favorite, which is hilarious when you consider she was a vegetarian since birth.

9. Helping...she is a helper. You can always find her at your side handing you the next thing you may need...a tooth brush, a comb, a towel, a sock or a shoe. She also loves to "help" fold clothes, empty the dishwasher even when the dishes are still dirty and make the bed.

8. Learning new words. Her ability to speak has just exploded. Now, we can actually understand what she is trying to say as she masters the different sounds of the English language, adding a few new words each day, like puppy, egg, and pee pee to her vocabulary list. Today she put two words together for the first time..."naked peas" which of course meant "napkin please".

7. She loves to scream M-M-M while on the toilet. We reward with mini m&ms. Treya is a master at letting out one or two drops, signing all done, receiving THE reward and before you can get the diaper back on, mysteriously announcing that she has to go again. She also sits on the toilet with her legs crossed....one foot up on her knee!

6. She refuses to say Thank you, instead giving the Indian head swagger followed by "you". We are a signing family, so I guess that counts.

5. Trickery is a favorite. She loves to hide from us so we have to come find her or tell us that her box of raisins, for instance is empty. When we look inside there are still some left and she giggles hysterically with a smile so big it squishes her nose, all because she made you look.

4. She calls everyone who cuddles her, momma. So that means, I am momma, daddy in momma, uncle Bill is momma...she knows this is not true because she calls us by our names too. I think it has just become a game where we continually correct her so she continually plays it.

3. She loves to put on her own socks. Yes, it can take forever, but she will not let you help her. She holds one chubby leg up in the air and tries over and over until the elastic encompasses her toes. When the sock is totally pulled up, her big feet fully fill out the knit foot part, but her little calves are so tiny that the rest of the sock hangs loosely on her leg. I will admit, it is pretty cute.

2. Music! The girl loves music and will bop her head to just about anything rhythmic. She tries to sing too, but with no words until recently, she blares out these off key sounds where she thinks the words should go. She always sings the two special lullabies we sing to her and Devi and you can tell by the look on her face that she is trying her hardest to be sincere.

1. Treya's #1 thing is glow worm. It was Devi's toy, but she never paid it any mind. Treya, on the other hand, LOVES it. It accompanies her wherever we go. I find this interesting that she could care less about the soft blankets and squishy stuffed animals and likes THIS toy. It is a rather hard toy with dull colors and a plastic face, albeit it the face lights up and when you push it's belly, it does play music. It is not unusual for Treya to lay on it in her crib, so the music will continually play over and over and over. Poor Devi....they share a room :)

The new double stroller works like a dream....or rather
sends them to dream land!

Parenting A Bengali Babe & A Pune Princess

Today was our first post placement visit. This is when your social worker comes to your house and asks questions about how things are going. Is your child eating well; sleeping well; adjusting to her new life; getting acquainted with other family members, and generally how the attachment and bonding process is going. She also observes your interaction with your newest family member. Then the information is accumulated in a report which is sent back to India to let them know how your adoption in progressing.

Where was our child during almost all of our post placement visit? Well...she was....hiding under the coffee table - covering her face when anyone tried to engage her. I'm not certain how one could put a positive spin on that in a report, but in a months time I am beginning to figure out how to outsmart this little whipper snapper. What was the ace in this momma's back pocket? Homemade banana bread!

At precisely the right moment I brought out the wafting plate of several evenly spaced bites of sweet treat that instantly got our lethargic and lifeless jelly bean's attention. Funny how her personality can do this sort of one eighty from introvert to extrovert for sweets.

Once the aroma reached her nose, Treya toddled over and found her seat right next to the social worker and happily babbled away while we continued our interview. Just as we finished, Treya reached her arms up to me saying "up please" and promptly fell asleep in my arms, only waking long enough to say "bye bye" and to give the cutest half fingered wave as we shut the door.

While it may seem like I pulled that off like a breast plated wonder woman, I must admit that my parenting has left a lot to be desired this week. There have been lots of raised voices, not much patience, and although there have been some pleasant moments, the tension has been high. At one point Devi even asked me why I had lost my smile. Ouch! That one hurt.

Bath time makes us all go a bit looney

Perhaps it had something to do with our McDonald's outing. We had met a friend for a play date and lunch. At one point, the father of another child came to me and said that Devi had stated that she did not want to play with his daughter and told her to get away from her. Okay, that is a pretty serious situation, so I made Devi apologize to the little girl and I thanked the father for bringing it to my attention. Not more than 3 minutes later, I overheard her saying the same sort of thing to another little girl. For that, she stood in the thinking spot and again had to apologize. Later, I heard her calling another little boy "poopy head" (not a positive comment). Our play date was instantly over, we gathered our things and had to leave!

Even though I know why she is having some behavioral issues right now, I was so disappointed in her. This was just the last straw. She has been repeatedly bopping her sister on the head with toys and dragging her across the floor by one arm, even after our disciplinary actions. On the short drive home I must admit that the words military school, grounded for life and yes, even the threat of no visit from Santa Claus came out of my mouth...most likely all in one run on sentence.

Budding artists....I hope!

The finished product in window frames that stay closed
with a magnet so changing artwork can be done without ever taking the frames down.
Simply open, change are, and swing closed. Genius!

Treya's issues are all about yelling "NEIN" at me (No in Marathi) when she does not want to do what I am asking of her, which lead to a topple off our kitchen bench, putting her tooth through her lower lip. Although Devi was fascinated by the sight of blood and we did learn that with Treya's hand and foot issues she lacks that instinctual reflex to catch one's self during a fall, the whole situation could of been avoided by following the rules or use of her listening ears after one of many times I removed her from the bench, rather than yelling NEIN at me. If I ask her to eat the last bite of something on her plate before getting another helping of the thing she prefers, she will put that bite into her mouth and when I begin to spoon seconds (or in her case 3rds or 4ths), she will sneakily spit that last bite onto the floor, trying to hide it from my view. When I remove her from the table, naturally she cries. She gets mad because she got busted, but will still come stand beside me and point to the tears as they run down her cheeks, in case I missed noticing. I tell her to come say she is sorry to momma for spitting food on the floor, and the command she instantly stops crying, the tears immediately dry and she says sorry (always while covering her ears and doing the Indian head swagger...I don't know what that is all about). She also has taken off her pjs and diaper in the middle of the night and then pee peed all over her mattress. Once cold, she cried out, which blared like a fire alarm over the monitor and I came running. Arriving bedside with sleepy blurred vision, I made out pieces and parts strewn about and then searching out a dry spot, I found her naked and shivering body all balled up in the corner of the crib. It was quite a sight. A piece of work, that girl.

Replaying these events of the week over and over in my head, it dawned on me that in our efforts to become unified as a family, we also have to keep our own identities too. Since arriving home, Treya and Devi eat together, play together, bathe together, sleep together and sometimes gulp...yes, even wear matching clothes. Everything is totally controlled and done together. With this revelation I decided to conduct an experiment.

That night each took a bath by themselves while the other had alone time with daddy. Each parent took one child to a separate room to read a bedtime story of their choice. The tension was gone, each girl appeased with a little time to themselves and some one on one time with each of us. They played together happily and yelled out extra "I Love Yous" as we left their room. After lights out, we could hear Devi teaching Treya the alphabet over the monitor. Devi would instruct her to say the next letter and Treya would utter basically the same sound for every letter, but Devi would over-the-top praise her for her efforts. It was darling. How easy was that?




Just when you are ready to throw in the towel, when you can think of no positive reinforcement to offer these children and their behavior anymore, Devi came home with a letter from her dance teacher. All I could think was count to ten...possibly 30, because Pat and I are going to have to come up with another consequence for another misguided choice. To my surprise the loopy pink ink handwritten letter was a glowing report about how hard Devi is working in dance class. She has been encouraging to others and is doing great! Hallelujah! Plodding along, this ends another week of parenting our Bengali babe and Pune princess.